Oh ok thanks.
But i just realized, what about coming back with a drivers license ID from New Jersey boarding in Los Angeles?
Do they like that or not? That's all i have, no CA drivers license.

That will be fine. Until October 1 of next year, any valid U.S. drivers license is accepted as identification by the TSA. After that date, the ID must comply with "REAL ID" requirements and many states do not yet. In Illinois where I live, you have the option to jump a couple extra hoops at no charge and get yourself a REAL ID. This I learned the day after I had just renewed my license. Thanks for telling me, DMV. A passport is worth carrying, if you have one.

If you're not already familiar with showing your boarding pass on your phone, you may want to just get yourself a paper copy when you check in at the airport. If you're checking a bag anyway, this won't take any extra time. And it only takes a couple minutes either way. It's an easy way to take away a bit of stress if you're unsure. Follow along with your phone and if it works for you, fine. If not, you have the confidence of knowing you have a hard copy.

As you pass along towards the gate, keep your ID and your boarding pass in a pocket ready to show. If you check a bag, the person accepting the bag will want to see both. Then you typically need to flash the boarding pass to enter the right line at security. The airlines station someone there to help people get into the proper lines. Some people are TSA pre-checked and can use a different line. The TSA guy will want to see both the ID and your boarding pass. You're done with your ID once you clear TSA but you'll need the boarding pass once again to board the plane. Your seat position will be on the boarding pass also. Once you're rump is in the right seat, you're done with both. Have that drink, you made it.

 

That will be fine. Until October 1 of next year, any valid U.S. drivers license is accepted as identification by the TSA. After that date, the ID must comply with "REAL ID" requirements and many states do not yet. In Illinois where I live, you have the option to jump a couple extra hoops at no charge and get yourself a REAL ID. This I learned the day after I had just renewed my license. Thanks for telling me, DMV. A passport is worth carrying, if you have one.

If you're not already familiar with showing your boarding pass on your phone, you may want to just get yourself a paper copy when you check in at the airport. If you're checking a bag anyway, this won't take any extra time. And it only takes a couple minutes either way. It's an easy way to take away a bit of stress if you're unsure. Follow along with your phone and if it works for you, fine. If not, you have the confidence of knowing you have a hard copy.

As you pass along towards the gate, keep your ID and your boarding pass in a pocket ready to show. If you check a bag, the person accepting the bag will want to see both. Then you typically need to flash the boarding pass to enter the right line at security. The airlines station someone there to help people get into the proper lines. Some people are TSA pre-checked and can use a different line. The TSA guy will want to see both the ID and your boarding pass. You're done with your ID once you clear TSA but you'll need the boarding pass once again to board the plane. Your seat position will be on the boarding pass also. Once you're rump is in the right seat, you're done with both. Have that drink, you made it.

Hi,

Hey thanks for that info too. That was a nice walk through. I need all the help i can get

 

Well see ya all on the flip side, hopefully i make it back too

 

Have a good and safe trip. ENJOT!

Ron

 

Thanks Ron, and of course the others that participated/participate in this thread.

I finally got to Los Angeles and it was truly a once in a lifetime meeting. She is such an amazing person with talent like i've never ever ever ever seen before and it's not like i am new to the arts i trained with Grammy Award winning guitarist Harry Leahey
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Leahey and was in several rock bands but when i see her perform it is just like nothing i have ever seen before in all my years and it is so hard to describe this experience it may take 100 pages if i am lucky.

Just to start, she created a childrens ensemble of stories centered on an entire species of childrens characters in a microworld never before seen, and has them all interacting like the floor of the Senate with a full house. But of course that's not all, she ACTED OUT all the characters in one of the stories right in her livingroom giving each one their separate voice. The range of personalities and voices was just so wide and encompassing and her projection so sharp and intense that when she finished i couldnt speak for a few seconds, my mouth was just open bottom jaw just hanging on for dear life. I think it may have been the most intense experience of my life. I just couldnt believe what i was seeing and hearing...the acting and vocalization and creativity beaming at me was like nothing i have ever experience in my life.
And then when she finished she spoke, "Are you bored?"
I could not believe that either. I just heard one of the most amazing things in my life and she asks me that. I had to respond then as i had no choice. I said something like, "Are you kidding me????" "There is no way in hell i could possibly be bored after hearing that".
I would love to show some of that here so you can see what level of creativity she is capable of, but some of it would be lost without her unique and clever voicing and of course she worries that someone will steal the ideas
That was one amazing night sitting on the couch in her livingroom..

Now the really down part of this beautiful woman, this beautiful story, this beautiful life.
Her sister took over mental control of her daughter and turned her daughter against her. That KILLED her sooooo bad, that much of her creative work goes unseen because it lays around the house in various rooms waiting for several years to be published, and that's even after a publisher accepted the concept and wanted to go whole in. She just cant continue with more episodes needed to fill an entire series.
Once she gets going, we see what i saw that night sitting on the couch with her. But then later, it degrades to tears of her lost daughter and how it brings her down so much. Her daughter used to live with her in her big house, along with the daughters boyfriend. But once her sister took control of her daughter, both daughter and daughters boyfriend moved out and left her all alone in that great big beautiful house, that was once an incredibly happy home. So that leaves her living alone, which kills her to no end. Pictures of her daughter and her drawings and other artwork hanging on many different walls, much of her past acting memorabilia sprawled across various shelves. It all tells a beautiful beautiful story of what once was and now is just a distant memory she cant seem to regain.

Sounds like a story from a book, but it's sadly too true. And i had to watch her night after night go from happy creative to over sad and crying about her daughter.

I'll have to describe this better as i go. It's just too complicated and sad. A woman who was destroyed by her jealous sister. And legally there doesnt seem to be anything she can do about it because the daughter is now over 18 yo.

What she needs is constant aide to get past the blows that come from her daughter now and then that keep pushing her down again. I think i may be able to do that, but from what i saw in the four or five days i had spent with her, i'd have to live right there with her. I am contemplating how to make that happen. In her words, when we got going with the childrens story and sorting out bills and paychecks and various paperworks, she said that i was there then but when i go home i wont be there anymore to help. I didnt realize what that might mean until some time later after i got back to NJ. That meant that someone has to be there with her all the time every day to help with her work. She does not work well over the phone, and that is a pity because i have worked over the phone in various technical capacities over the years and learned how to solve problems by asking the right questions, but that does not work with her because she needs the proximity factor also, to be there right with her physically. So i dont think i have much choice. I simply cant stand to see her suffer like this, and loose opportunities that come flying at her just because she cant resume which what she started.

I also thought, well what if i told hundreds of people about how amazing she was, and showed them the various web sites she comes up on like IMDb for various movies she did. Then she would have more fans.
But that's not it either. It's the work she started that has to be continued. That's because that is one of the main things she values other than her daughter which comes first above all else.
So it's not about gaining more fans, it's about continuing her creative work. That is what she says she misses but cant seem to do on her own.

I guess i should stop here for now. The other part of the trip was of course the flight and taxis and whatnot, but it all pales in comparison of what appears above. The plane trips where long and bumpy as all heck. Hours and hours of bumping back and forth at 38000 feet. Not something i like to dream about. What i do like to dream about is her getting back to her normal self without relying on her daughter. But i only see one solution as above. I hope i can do it because a week with her gives her strength, buy only temporarily. It dies quickly after.

Any ideas on this dam much appreciated.

 

See, you took the plunge and had a great time apparently. I am glad you enjoyed yourself and finally a long awaited meeting. Pretty cool huh?

Ron

 

See, you took the plunge and had a great time apparently. I am glad you enjoyed yourself and finally a long awaited meeting. Pretty cool huh?

Ron

Hi Ron,

It was one of the hardest things i had to do in a long time but i was lucky i was able to make it because i learned a lot more about her and was able to help in ways i would have never been able to do over the phone i dont think. I would have never been able to see how she shows off her amazing agility by doing cartwheels in the livingroom as well as other gymnastics. Unfortunately one of the days i had to witness her being carried off in the ambulance and not hearing any news about her condition until hours later.

The thing that made it harder is that her location was very far from the airport in Los Angeles so i was in constant fear of how the heck i was going to get back to the airport. Now i know many taxis know how to get there, but because of the traffic congestion on the i405 it was always questionable how long it would actually take to get back to the airport and so i had to leave ample time to get there and trust the reservation i made with the taxi company that they would not be too late to pick me up.

But really i have you to thank for pushing me into actually doing it. I hate flying and everything it involves, although i did get a little more relaxed after a while. I just wish they had more episodes of Bob's Burgers on the back of the seat monitor in front of me where they allow watching stuff you might like. They only had 4 different episodes so i had to watch them over and over again.

But really thanks again for the big push because i had so many doubts and you made me realize that sometimes you just have to get up and actually do stuff not just talk about it. I would not trade that trip for anything in the world.

 

So glad you were able to make the trip. I m sure that your friend benefited from your presence. Sorry to hear that she was taken to the hospital.

In a more positive note, I’m glad to learn if your like of Bob’s Burgers. My children and I are big fans.

 

I am just pleased that everything went so well for you and the trip was a good experience. My memories of LAX are likely 35 to 40 years old and it was a nightmare then. Lived in the San Diego area for awhile and then up in Anaheim actually across I-5 from Disneyland. I can only imagine what it is today. A single accident can add hours to a commute.

I also believe that phone calls are nice nothing is as good as up close and in person where there is time to talk about things.

But really i have you to thank for pushing me into actually doing it. I hate flying and everything it involves, although i did get a little more relaxed after a while. I just wish they had more episodes of Bob's Burgers on the back of the seat monitor in front of me where they allow watching stuff you might like. They only had 4 different episodes so i had to watch them over and over again.

That was priceless. Eventually yes, you run out of things to do up there and ways to stay amused or even sane.

All in all after missing seeing her while she was back east you finally got the chance to see her. Kathy and I haven't made my annual NY trip now for a few years and I miss seeing old friends. Our travels have been really curtailed since the cancer issues Kathy developed. Last year I missed my 50 year graduation reunion in NY. This year our annual party on the beach is the end of July and I don't see that happening. Anyway, I am glad you just said DO IT and did it.

Oh yeah, I also like Bob's Burgers. Something about the humor I just find great.

Ron

 

So glad you were able to make the trip. I m sure that your friend benefited from your presence. Sorry to hear that she was taken to the hospital.

In a more positive note, I’m glad to learn if your like of Bob’s Burgers. My children and I are big fans.
View attachment 178953

Oh yeah i watch Bob's Burgers all the time, as well as South Park, Family Guy, Cleveland Brown, Futurama.
The guy that does the main voice of Bob in Bob's Burgers also does voice over in Family Guy and Archer. So one time in one Family Guy show the character said something like "Hey i can do Bob in Bob's Burgers and the main guy in Archer" and then went off with this:
"Hi i am Bob in Bob's Burgers",
"Hi i am the main guy in Archer",
"Hi am this guy talking"
and it was the same voice for all three of course
It was kinda funny.

 

I am just pleased that everything went so well for you and the trip was a good experience. My memories of LAX are likely 35 to 40 years old and it was a nightmare then. Lived in the San Diego area for awhile and then up in Anaheim actually across I-5 from Disneyland. I can only imagine what it is today. A single accident can add hours to a commute.

I also believe that phone calls are nice nothing is as good as up close and in person where there is time to talk about things.



That was priceless. Eventually yes, you run out of things to do up there and ways to stay amused or even sane.

All in all after missing seeing her while she was back east you finally got the chance to see her. Kathy and I haven't made my annual NY trip now for a few years and I miss seeing old friends. Our travels have been really curtailed since the cancer issues Kathy developed. Last year I missed my 50 year graduation reunion in NY. This year our annual party on the beach is the end of July and I don't see that happening. Anyway, I am glad you just said DO IT and did it.

Oh yeah, I also like Bob's Burgers. Something about the humor I just find great.

Ron

Yeah one of the most important things i found out was just how amazing that woman is. I never saw anything like her before. I thought i knew what talent was until i saw the things she did and acted out with such passion. She was made to do what she does that's all there is to it. I could not have gotten that over the phone.

Did i mention i got a pat down at Newark? It was no big deal to me at all, except for the fact that i could not see my belongings in the xray bin i put everything. That was really scary because i had my id, boarding pass, etc., in that bin unattended for a few minutes time.

 

Did i mention i got a pat down at Newark? It was no big deal to me at all, except for the fact that i could not see my belongings in the xray bin i put everything. That was really scary because i had my id, boarding pass, etc., in that bin unattended for a few minutes time.

I once made the mistake of keeping my passport on me when I was asked to dump everything through the scanner at Houston's airport.

And then I was scanned. "Back left pocket" I was told in the crisper English there can be by a TSA officer.

When I showed him that it was my passport that I had kept in my pants, he chided me for not fully complying with instructions. So I told him that my passport was the only thing I had on me that proved that I was me, and that letting go of it made me feel real nervous.

My reward for that was a full pat-down by a not-so-unattractive female officer looking for more irregularities...

Thank God she didn't report the one prominent irregularity that was making me uncomfortable right then and there ...

 

I once made the mistake of keeping my passport on me when I was asked to dump everything through the scanner at Houston's airport.

And then I was scanned. "Back left pocket" I was told in the crisper English there can be by a TSA officer.

When I showed him that it was my passport that I had kept in my pants, he chided me for not fully complying with instructions. So I told him that my passport was the only thing I had on me that proved that I was me, and that letting go of it made me feel real nervous.

My reward for that was a full pat-down by a not-so-unattractive female officer looking for more irregularities...

Thank God she didn't report the one prominent irregularity that was making me uncomfortable right then and there ...

Ha ha, that's funny. Maybe she noticed ha ha ha but didnt want to go THERE ha ha ha.

But yeah, they need to do something about the separation anxiety when you get detached from your most important documents like drivers license, passport, even the boarding pass which is the only way you can get on the plane from what i understand. Thank God the first time i did the TSA check my boarding pass did not get blown out of the bin because i didnt realize i should have put it into something solid like my belt pack.

What i was thinking was what if we kept our drivers license in our hand when we went through the scanner?
We need some document that shows who we are or we could end up getting deported for God's sake.

 

Well I have limited mobility and need at least my walking stick outside the house so I get the wheelchair ride which puts me right through TSA with no wait and 1st boarding on the plane. The wife is a retired teacher and had to be vetted for security to hold her job so she qualifies for a TSA preclearance and doesn't have to go through security screening. One of the few perks for being disabled.

 

Well I have limited mobility and need at least my walking stick outside the house so I get the wheelchair ride which puts me right through TSA with no wait and 1st boarding on the plane. The wife is a retired teacher and had to be vetted for security to hold her job so she qualifies for a TSA preclearance and doesn't have to go through security screening. One of the few perks for being disabled.

Oh interesting story there. Yeah so you get some good perks that's good to hear. My pants almost fell down in LA ha ha during that check.

 

I don't consider having to sit in a wheelchair at eye level with every big fat ass and having to ask to be pushed to a restroom much of perk but it does speed up getting through TSA and getting from gate to gate. They do make me stand up and go through the whole body scanner sometimes but no waiting in line at least. I got off one plane and the wheelchair/attendant was waiting outside the plane's door so I sat down and some woman behind me started screaming "HE'S STEALING MY CHAIR!!!!" over and over screeching like a banshee so my wife helped me get up and I hobbled up to the gate and waited for them to get another wheelchair instead being part of the ugly scene she was making. I hate wheelchairs and rue the day I will have to be stuck in one instead of hobbling about.

 

The never ending story goes on...and back on topic...

I got back to NJ the other day, she was supposed to come back with me but she needed to get someone to watch the doggies. So the next day she came to NJ too and a couple days later we were able to get together again.

Now in CA we had many problems, one was that i had trouble getting around without my car and the other she had a lot of problems to solve. Now that we were both in NJ things quickly got much better and we got very close, i felt closer to her than perhaps anyone else in my life. We had a great few days and nights together with no dogs or other people to bother us. It was a very magical time to say the least.

To say it was magical though is a complete understatement on my part. Nothing like i have ever experienced before.
However, there are still some problems that prevail.

The first is that she still really resides in CA and me in NJ. We still are not sure what to do about that, and there may be some financial issues for both of us.

Second is she has to take two different medicines for her condition, and she often runs out. This leads to very nasty problems. For one, she has to drink alcohol to get to sleep if she doesnt have one of her medicines. Not having that one also makes her unable to understand other people's points of view and that can be significantly damaging to the beautiful relationship we've now developed. For example, i was going to drive her to her sisters house but the car check engine light came on. I told her she could take a cab and she got very disturbed about it and wood refuse to listen to reason. I even told her i'd pay for the cab but she still did not like that at all.

Now maybe those two are temporary, but the third one is not as temporary. That is, she is very very very dynamic. She dances on the bed at 4 or 5am in the morning when i have had almost no sleep yet that night. She's been a dancer too when she was 19 and loves that also.
In the parking lot? Sure why not? After a really nice dinner at 2am in the morning at the Edison Diner, she's dancing in the parking lot at 2am.
So the question becomes can i really keep up with her for very long. She's 54 but looks and acts like 24 for the most part. She doesnt need much sleep, i need at least 6 hours or more.
Would it be better if we lived together? This i cant say one way or the other. I just hope this doesnt end on a sour note because the entire experience over the last 5 or so months has been so magical. I also got to finally talk to her sister who i also knew 45 years ago, and finally her daughter too. It was really nice.

Ideas/suggestions greatly appreciated.

 

Would it be better if we lived together? This i cant say one way or the other. I just hope this doesnt end on a sour note because the entire experience over the last 5 or so months has been so magical. I also got to finally talk to her sister who i also knew 45 years ago, and finally her daughter too. It was really nice.

Ideas/suggestions greatly appreciated.

Take it slow. Remember the Prince who married an actress from Hollywood not so long ago? Do you really want to make your life match hers? It does not sound like it will be a two-way street.

Dependence on pills and alcohol for normal functions, like sleep, is not a good start, IMHO.

 

Take it slow. Remember the Prince who married an actress from Hollywood not so long ago? Do you really want to make your life match hers? It does not sound like it will be a two-way street.

Dependence on pills and alcohol for normal functions, like sleep, is not a good start, IMHO.

Thanks for the suggestions and thoughts.

Well so far everything has been reciprocated, so it's not really that, it's more like the basic attributes like for example she is extremely athletic and while i was too in the past with routine weight training, running, marshal arts, etc., i am only somewhat athletic now. That worries me because she is constantly on the go.
Then there are health issues, and although everyone has them she does not maintain her required medication regimen very well. There has been some abnormalities in the recent past though that were not her fault, so i guess all i can do here is see how she works it out in the future.
I also brought up the question of the alcohol where it seemed like it was abuse. But she assured me that it was necessary and actually prescibed by her doctor as a means to get off of a worse medication that is rather dangerous.
I dont like to see her use alcohol in this way, but all i can do is wait and see what happens when she finally gets the right med's again. She has a doctor in NJ too who texted her that he would help her with this, so i should know in a few days.
This started because the hospital in CA she was brought to when i was out there told her to take three pills a day instead of just the prescribed one, and that meant she ran out too soon. They should have given her more pills so she would not run out but they are idiots.

So all in all it is an unusual situation that is hard to judge so all i can do is wait and see what happens.
I'll also have to see if she calms down with the right med's too. So far i am lucky if i got 3 hours sleep per night.

Even so, the relationship we have when together is truly magical now i would never give that up without a fight. I never ever expected it to turn into this and i still cant quite believe it actually happened.

 

To say it was magical though is a complete understatement on my part. Nothing like i have ever experienced before.
However, there are still some problems that prevail.

MrAl, you are beginning to scare me a little.

On the meds issue I can relate as I take Ambien. I began wondering why at 2:00 AM I was laying and looking at my ceiling. Problem is, with Ambien you can't get a refill until your supply date has passed. Then also if out of state there can be problems. Here in Ohio the local Rite Aid is where I get my meds. Even though they have Rite Aid in NC when I visit friends if I am going to run out I need to wait for the Rite Aid in NC to contact and check Ohio and NC law. Only once they know it's OK will I get my script and fortunately NC can fill a script written in Ohio. My Ambien substitute is several shots of Jack Daniels or similar.

I hope things work out for you both and yes, a 3,000 mile relationship gets complicated since neither of you can be there for the other when you feel the need and the phone just doesn't quite cut it.

Ron