I somehow pity that banana.

 

 

 

Interesting lesson that you should not plan a promotion that is really good. It might become too popular with unintended consequences. Keep it boring.

I'm surprised that the Disco Demolition piece never mentions the name of the guy that thought it up, Steve Dahl, who is still on the air at WLS 890AM.

 

I remember in college, a new bar opened up with 5 cent beers. The crowd spilled out into the street (it was a dead end). There were more people outside than in. The street was littered with beer mugs and glass. The police eventually came when they ran out of beer and the crowd was not pleased.

The bar closed two days later.

 

A friend of one of my technicians told me how, once when they were in college together, she got a frantic call from my tech asking her to come to the bar and "rescue" her.

Please hurry, it's an emergency!

Are you hurt?

No

Is someone threatening you?

No

Is your car damaged?

No

Then what's the problem?

It's nickel beer night and I'm out of change!​

 

A friend of one of my technicians told me how, once when they were in college together, she got a frantic call from my tech asking her to come to the bar and "rescue" her.

Please hurry, it's an emergency!

Are you hurt?

No

Is someone threatening you?

No

Is your car damaged?

No

Then what's the problem?

It's nickel beer night and I'm out of change!​

They didn't go to Georgia Tech by any chance?

 

Haha, no, it was an Illinois school. Possibly my alma mater in Champaign.

 

One edifice of higher learning and police in 4 states successfully trolled by fake clown reports.
Police in 4 states are so busy trying to find non-existent clowns that Auburn University has advised students not to wear anything which might resemble a clown to avoid being perceived as a, "threat".

I would wonder if the real clowns are dressed in blue, but they don't bring laughter, they bring death.

https://reason.com/blog/2016/09/21/the-clown-panic-comes-to-college
https://reason.com/blog/2016/09/21/charlotte-shooting-riots-keith-scott

(Another, "Roll up and shoot a random stranger". Not the person they were looking for.)

 

Make that 5 states and a general threat to arrest all clowns, probably for, "Funny Business".
https://www.rt.com/usa/358081-clowns-reports-carolina-police/
https://www.rt.com/usa/360176-clowns-threats-terrorist-arrest/

 

I think this rings true:
"The only people I believe who are jumpy and anxious enough to be scared by that are, well – police.
Local schools were put on lockdown and police went full-on overboard assessing a threat that only exists in their twisted imaginations.
The police are insane. They are afraid of everything that exists and want to charge it with crimes or shoot it dead."

http://www.copblock.org/166266/teenagers-arrested-clowns/

 

I can't sleep now!

 

 

OOPS

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/...-to-her-vagina-in-botched-cancer-surgery.html

 

OOPS

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/...-to-her-vagina-in-botched-cancer-surgery.html

If I had any lingering thoughts about maybe, some day, having sex, this cured them.

 

OOPS

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/...-to-her-vagina-in-botched-cancer-surgery.html

Velkovska reportedly discovered the mistake after receiving an X-ray that not only showed her vagina and colon had been tied together, but also that her carcinoma was still intact. She opted to have the skin cancer removed at another institution. The botched procedure took place at the September 8th Hospital in the Macedonia capital of Skopje.

Calling Dr. Quack to surgery.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/news/sex-life-rats-life-badger-honored-ig-nobel-002623651--finance.html

Japan's Atsuki Higashiyama and Kohei Adachi were granted the Perception Ig Nobel for a paper on how objects look different when one bends over and views them through one's legs.

 

#12.......according to the new academic social paradigm, it shouldn't matter. There is no difference between male and female. And if your believe there is, your are a religious bigot. You are a deplorable.

After all, we have gender neutral medical schools now.

And people have problems with police.

Medicine directly kills over 500,000 in this country per year. These are not people that would have naturally died either. As some idiots claim. These are out right medical malpractice deaths. This does not include the millions that survived malpractice.....those effected and disabled.

 

OOPS

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/...-to-her-vagina-in-botched-cancer-surgery.html

There should be some good jokes there but I'm too grossed out to create one myself.

Something about a dry hole?

 

#12.......according to the new academic social paradigm, it shouldn't matter. There is no difference between male and female. And if your believe there is, your are a religious bigot. You are a deplorable.

I'm not a bigot! I don't have sex with anybody. That includes both men and women!

Medicine directly kills over 500,000 in this country per year.

I had a good doctor for 20 years. From that, I know what a good doctor looks like. I have refused at least 11 medical or surgical procedures in the last 5 years.

There should be some good jokes there but I'm too grossed out to create one myself.

I have several ideas which are not suitable on this website.