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Greatest interviewer of all time.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1326748637603516417

 

Achtung: Warnung!

 

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Found on EP:

 

“Moshe was sitting at the bar staring at his drink
when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig
and menacingly says,
´Thanks Jew Boy, whatcha going to do about it?"
Moshe burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY.
I can't stand to see a man crying.
What's your problem?"
"This is the worst day of my life," Moshe says.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting
and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife in bed with the postman and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar
to work up the courage to put an end to it all.
I buy a drink; drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve;
then you show up and drink the whole thing!
"But enough about me, how's your day going?"”

 

 

View attachment 222920

Funny... but what happened to me is I came home with Bourbon and beer...

 

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We are getting ready for our annual Thanksgiving turkey day here in the States so...

 

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An amazing 2-letter English word.

A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a
noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition.

UP

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other
two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the
dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top
of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and
why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the
secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room,
polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
At other times, this little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP.
When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!
Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?
U P !

Did that one crack you UP?

Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . . it's UP to you.

Now I'll shut UP!

 

hi Max,
I wouldn't let it Up-set you.
E

 

Outlook

A mushroom and an onion have a profound conversation about life together.
The mushroom says to the onion:
"my life is a complete nightmare. First I am cut into slices and then fried alive and eaten. "
To which the onion says:
"It can be much worse, because I will be skinned alive and then chopped to shreds.
And the worst part is that people are also crying very affected!"

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

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