Well, there is always Gallagher's Watermelon Smashing!

 

Gallagher

OK, so I screwed up on the spelling again. THERE! I CORRECTED IT.

")

 

I enjoy tracking packages, regardless of the urgency. The USPS offers "Premium Tracking," which to this day I have ignored. Then, I clicked on it:



For $9.99 you can get premium tracking for a single package for 10 years. Now,is that optimism or what?

 

Even the slow boat from China would hopefully arrive in less than 10 years, but given the Covid-related delays, who knows ?

 

I enjoy tracking packages, regardless of the urgency. The USPS offers "Premium Tracking," which to this day I have ignored. Then, I clicked on it:

View attachment 217532

For $9.99 you can get premium tracking for a single package for 10 years. Now,is that optimism or what?

I think it's a steal! The 10 year price represents a 79% discount over the 6 month price. As my wife would say, think of how much money I saved!

 

1. Q: Why did the cloud date the fog?
   A: He was so down to earth.
2. Q: Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
   A: They’re always working with solutions.
3. Q: What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into another?
   A: Sorry! My Fault.
4. Q: What did the infectious disease say when the bartender refused him service?
   A: Well, you’re not a very good host.
5. Q: How did the thermometer insult the graduated cylinder?
   A: She said, “You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”
6. Q: What will never go viral no matter how popular they get?
   A: Antibiotics.
7. Q: Why is so hard to wake up in the morning?
   A: Newton’s First Law: A body at rest wants to stay at rest.
8. Q: Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
   A: That’s how you become a black hole.
9. Q: What did the science book say to the math book?
   A: You’ve got problems.
10. Q: What are the primary elements of a sense of humor?
    A: Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm
11. Q: What do protons and life coaches have in common?
    A: They know how to stay positive
12. Q: Why did the chemist hang up periodic table posters everywhere?
    A: It made him feel like he was in his element.
13. Q: What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection?
    A: Is there antibody out there?
14. Q: Why is combining a proton and an electron to make a neutron so popular?
    A: It’s free of charge.
15. Q: Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
    A: There was no chemistry.
16. Q: What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight?
    A: I’m sick of your negativity.
17. Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
    A: Aaaaargon
18. Q: How do geologists ask each other out?
    A: They say, “Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”
19. Q: Why couldn’t the geologist think of the joke?
    A: It was on the tip of her tungsten!
20. Q: Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits and ties?
    A: They were a formyl group.
21. Q: What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs?
    A: Sorry for your sulfering.
22. Q: What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of herself?
    A: A cell-fie
23. Q: Why is the ocean so salty?
    A: The land never waves back!

 

think of how much money I saved!

So much money you can retire. Or buy that new car you always wanted.

 

Q: What are the primary elements of a sense of humor?
A: Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm

No. Iridium, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Yttrium.

 

So much money you can retire. Or buy that new car you always wanted.

Nope. My wife never saved me that much.

Perhaps I should send her shopping more often?

 

Nope. My wife never saved me that much.

Perhaps I should send her shopping more often?

Ahhh... But is she accounting for that magnanimous Ca. 1% 'charge card' cash back? --- Beats scrap stainless any day!

TTFN
HP

 

No. Iridium, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Yttrium.

Did you mean Iridium, Radium. Oxygen, Nitrogen and Yttrium?

 

Don’t get #6... Is the answer Antivirals?

I don’t get it.

 

Did you mean Iridium, Radium. Oxygen, Nitrogen and Yttrium?

No. But if I did, that'd be irronic.

 

Don’t get #6... Is the answer Antivirals?

Antibiotics have no effect on viruses so they cannot go viral.

 

Perhaps I should send her shopping more often?

Mine likes to tell me how much money she saved by spending it...

 

Nope. My wife never saved me that much.

Perhaps I should send her shopping more often?

Your does not shop until you send her to do so? That would never stopped mine....

 

Your does not shop until you send her to do so? That would never stopped mine....

There's lots of things she doesn't do unless threatened.

 

There's lots of things she doesn't do unless threatened.

I was going to say the same thing about mine, but using the word "incentivized" instead.

 

ME? I just let her shop. It's far easier to pay the bills than to endure the negativity if I don't allow her to spend money. And for you fem's, no - I don't have the power to stop her from spending, nor would I try to exert such power. She has just as much right to spend as I do. The difference is when we don't agree on an expenditure. Like last year when I wouldn't let her get that bread maker and she wouldn't let me get that BayLiner.

 

The most remarkable thing about 2020 -- and all the trouble it's wrought -- is that no one has died of natural causes.