Heisenberg, Schrodinger & Ohm are in a car.
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving & the cop ask him "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies. No, but I know exactly where I am." The cop says " you were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts. "Great! Now I'm lost!." The cop thinks this is suspicious & orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says."Do you know you have a dead cat back there?."We do now,asshole!" shouted Schrodinger. The cop moves to arrest them .Ohm resists.

A joke doesn't get any nerdier than that...

 

 

Standby you're going to love this one
A higgs bosons walks into a church and the priest says. "We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here." The Higgs Bosons then replies." But without me, how could you have mass?"

I was expecting to hear "We believe in only one God."

 

I was expecting to hear "We believe in only one God."

- said the "God particle" ...

 

I was expecting to hear "We believe in only one God

said the "God particle" ..

Ok guys this one's Funny


Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. It's Einstein's turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten.
Pascal runs off and hides Newton draws at one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches 10 and uncovers his eyes
He sees Newton immediately and exclaims. "Newton! I found you! You're it!

Newton smiles and says." You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter.You found Pascal!"

 

 

 

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Yeah, we had to convince our son to lose the MonkeyButt username & email before he graduated college and went looking for a job. Thank God he listened.

 

A detailed compendium of Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe:

https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Bart's_prank_calls

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You did hear about the Electrical Engineer that was arrested for battery. They put him in a dry cell

 

They put him in a dry cell

... in the company of two Poles.

 

I don't get it?

I thought it was very electrifying.

 

Positive and negative poles.

 

 

Speaking of Poles in a cell... My college buddy who was from Sweden told me that one of the problems in Sweden was Poles. This was back in the days of the USSR. They would come to Sweden to commit crimes to be put in prison. They said life in prison in Sweden was better than life as a free man in Poland.

 

God is a Husky...

 

There was a young woman named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

 

How avout this one:

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6910781/

In this paper, we have shown that the earth’s core is the biggest system of telecommunication which exchanges waves with all DNAs and molecules of water. Imaging of DNAs on the interior of the metal of the core produces a DNA black brane with around 109 times longer than the core of the earth which is compacted and creates a structure similar to a black hole or black brane. We have shown that this DNA black brane is the main cause of high temperature of core and magnetic of earth.