I wrote something yesterday and I am still thinking about it:

I have worked with and hired female engineers. Yes, the interaction is different, but I have found them to be as competent, and in some cases more so, than the men.

What's bothering me is the "interaction is different" part.

As an example, I would have no problem inviting a male subordinate or co-worker for a beer after work to discuss work related issues. But, I would *never* do such a thing with a female on a 1 on 1 basis.

Fundamentally, this seems sexist and incredibly unfair. But I feel that if I did, I'd have some 'splaining to do to both my wife and my boss.

I can see how this could be a potentially "career limiting" factor for a woman with a male boss (lots of progress can be made in unstressed "downtime" over a beer).

I dunno...I just thought I'd throw this out there to see if anyone has any insight.

 

Once upon a time, I took a client to Home Depot to pick out paneling for a room addition. Right across the street was a Chinese restaurant that had one of my air conditioner jobs going on. I stopped to check on the work, paid to eat at the buffet for both of us, and she reported that I had a, "date" with her.

That's the kind of result that gets women excluded from, "off the clock" activities.
They can claim it's unfair, all they want, but this isn't the only such experience I've had.

 

Interesting.

I take clients (potential and otherwise) to lunch/dinner/entertainment on occasion -- and I always pay for the meal and/or activities. It's never arisen that the client in question was a solitary female.

I think, at a minimum, I'd ask my business partner or another employee (and, possibly my wife!) to join us.

 

I kind of got stuck with that one because everybody else was busy tearing out walls and she didn't have a car available. I didn't think it was a date, but she did, and that bothered me!

Edit: I'm smarter now.

I knew in 1970 that if you ever sleep with a customer, you will never cash another check from her. It took me some time to figure out that if you're ever alone with a customer, she will act like it's something sexual.

 

I think it's a problem that will never go away. As long as men are men and women are women, there will always be the danger (and the stress) of one party misinterpreting the intentions of the other. We just have to deal with it the best we can. Personally, I try to never be alone in a room with one single female, if I can help it.
Other than that, yes, women can be just as effective and efficient than men, and even more so... and their different perspective on things can be an extremely valuable and refreshing asset to any job.

 

I kind of got stuck with that one because everybody else was busy tearing out walls and she didn't have a car available. I didn't think it was a date, but she did, and that bothered me!

Edit: I'm smarter now.

How long ago did that happen?

 

About 1985

 

About 1985

That explains your situation... young and inexperienced... and victim to a predatory vixen!

 

Here's another one: 1990, I was walking with a church group of about 8 people. One woman put her head against my shoulder. I whispered, "We're not going there." She reported that I made an advance and SHE turned ME down.

Swear to Dog! Sometimes you can't even avoid this in a crowd!

 

Here's another one: 1990, I was walking with a church group of about 8 people. One woman put her head against my shoulder. I whispered, "We're not going there." She reported that I made an advance and SHE turned ME down.

Swear to Dog! Sometimes you can't even avoid this in a crowd!

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - William Congreve

 

OK. I have to go run some errands now. See ya' later.

 

I want to offer a perspective here, but a bit afraid

We were drunk and it was cold outside (-27C), nothing happened. I also have to run some errands.

 

We were drunk and it was cold outside (-27C), nothing happened. I also have to run some errands.

It's a good thing nothing happened. At -27C, nothing may have happened ever again.

 

For me communicating with women at work is not really a problem.

Its the one at home I have such a hard time with.

My wife just came home and the first sentence out of her mouth (not even a complete one at that which makes that much more confusing) is related to something I said yesterday while over visiting my brother.

Ten minutes later and I finally get what its about and even then it makes no sense and has zero context to anything from today.

Oh well. Glad I didn't spend the last 24 hours dwelling on a off remark that was taken out of context.

 

For me communicating with women at work is not really a problem.

Its the one at home I have such a hard time with.

My wife just came home and the first sentence out of her mouth (not even a complete one at that which makes that much more confusing) is related to something I said yesterday while over visiting my brother.

Ten minutes later and I finally get what its about and even then it makes no sense and has zero context to anything from today.

Oh well. Glad I didn't spend the last 24 hours dwelling on a off remark that was taken out of context.

Intersexual communication should be a university major... with a minor in apologetics...

 

Just remember:

They. Never. Forget.

 

Just remember:

They. Never. Forget.

I knew that one as: They. Never. Lose ... an argument might end up in a tie... but You never win...

 

Finally, I got the advise that I wanted

 

Not only do the never forget they also remember things that never happened.

I get forced to deal with that one quite often too.

 

Whenever I think of my first wife, I remember that if we were together today, I would still be arguing about why I ordered a pizza during the Junior Prom...in 1967.

The last one spent so much time crying about what she imagined I was thinking that she was the last one. I was so bad at defending against mind reading that I finally and completely gave up.