A hoary mathematics joke.

2+2=5, for very large values of 2 and very small values of 5.

 

My favorite mis-spelling is an my global company's email spell checker. For some reason, our Asian employees continually mis-spell the word "warehouse" as "wherehouse". Their spell checker then corrects it to "whorehouse". They assume the spell checker is correct and send the email to our supply chain team to advise them that, "our customers are complaining that our whorehouse is too far away", or, "the products in the whorehouse are approaching the expiration date". Just last week, "A customer came in the whorehouse for an ISO audit and he didn't like the cleanliness but he likes our service."

 

Now that is really funny!

 

My favorite mis-spelling is an my global company's email spell checker. For some reason, our Asian employees continually mis-spell the word "warehouse" as "wherehouse". Their spell checker then corrects it to "whorehouse". They assume the spell checker is correct and send the email to our supply chain team to advise them that, "our customers are complaining that our whorehouse is too far away", or, "the products in the whorehouse are approaching the expiration date". Just last week, "A customer came in the whorehouse for an ISO audit and he didn't like the cleanliness but he likes our service."

An old girlfriend of mine was a klutz with her Amstrad 8512 but got some secretary work in. A guy pops up for some CV work and gets her to post off for him. Weeks later she was going through her files when she noticed that his address Vaughn Rd had been spellchecked to Vagina Rd.

Oops

 

This was pretty funny, so I thought I would share. Reminds me of my kid when he was that age.

http://living.msn.com/family-parenting/kid-writes-the-best-letter-from-camp-ever

 

Oops

Yes, OOPS!

 

Hello,

I saw a nice quote some time ago:

Falling does not hurt, but the landing does.

Bertus

 

Bertus,
This is an old tree surgeon adage. Works for motorcycling too.

 

Yes, OOPS!

Did you get the job atferrari?

 

I saw this earlier and thought I should share.

http://imgur.com/gallery/LIemvPY

 

Did you get the job atferrari?

What job? In fact I am now for more than 23 years working as marine surveyor.

In another forum somebody asked the same question.

 

What kind of surveys do you do, atferrari? Or do you mean inspector? This is more like what I imagine you doing, from what you've said from time to time.

 

Or do you mean inspector?

As in a Cop ?

 

No, as in "someone who checks ships and paraphernalia to ensure they comply to regulations".

 

What kind of surveys do you do, atferrari? Or do you mean inspector? This is more like what I imagine you doing, from what you've said from time to time.

There are two different possible areas: those where you just investigate events, note things, browse/collect documentation, compile information, eventually conclude something (like technical inspections in vessels, fire, colissions, damages to equipment (ship's/shore), pilferage and the like) for reporting to your principals or those where you take decisions in operations of various kinds (broadly speaking: cargo operations).

There is a natural limitation to your area based on your background and actual previous experience. I do nothing related with chemical tankers. My previous experience is in bulk carriers, LPG / oil carriers and project/general cargo.

Worked many years as Supercargo (planning the loading-discharge of a vessel for a whole voyage with sequence and distribution). Stressing job because there is the additional of dealing with Captain and staff which is not always simple or easy. They naturally respond to their Owners and not so easily to Charterers.

Currently, I am mostly dedicated to handling of general / project / heavy / high value cargo and trying to slow down (17 years at sea and 23 ashore).

The usual expression is "surveyor".

Very seldom you hear "inspector" but never applied to our work. Eventually someone from a classification society or an insurance company.

 

"Broken pencils are pointless." Ha ha ha ha ha!

 

A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand foot drop to jagged rocks. They all got out of the car.

The computer engineer said, "I think I can fix it."

The systems analyst said, "No, I think we should take it into town and have a specialist look at it."

The programmer said, "I think we should push it back up the hill and see if it does it again."

 

How does NASA organise a party?

They planet.

 

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to study this stuff?"

"To save lives," the professor responded and continued with the lecture.

A few minutes later the same student spoke up again. "So, how does physics save lives?" he persisted.

"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.

 

By Tim Jones... from another place:

Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for the airport leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said "Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."