The Jokes thread

300-3056

Joined Sep 9, 2022
26
Do they think the flat earth flips like a coin to create night and day? Or does it spin like an LP on a photograph and they have some cool symmetry flipping trick to create night and day?

Is their sun flat, too?
My cousin in Poland tells their first mission to the ISS is in crisis.
After achieving orbit they have run out of coal.
Latest update is the Italian space agency has attempted a rescue but they've run out of scafolding withint visual range of the Poles
 

bidrohini

Joined Jul 29, 2022
190
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
 

MrSalts

Joined Apr 2, 2020
2,767
Where did you get 0.1%? I’d guess it’s much higher than that. But I’m guessing…
Even if it's 1 or 2%, I'm sure some politician will brainwash people into thinking it's happening everywhere to everyone and they better not touch a door knob in a public restroom or they'll catch a new identity - and weak personalities will believe it.
 

MrSalts

Joined Apr 2, 2020
2,767
The birthplace of joeyd999. You didn't come out of a penis, did you? If you're saying you did - actually no. That was only a part of you. It wasn't until all of you were combined into a cell and begun division and multiplication. That took place in a woman. Not in a man.
You might want to ask Joeyd999's parents for a permission slip before you offer him this type of education. I think parents in Florida are really sensitive about who, how and what truths are explained when educating students on this topic (as you may have noticed by Joey's questions).
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
9,744
A school teacher asked her students to use the word "Fascinate" in a sentence.

Molly put her hand up and said "My family went to my granddad's farm. It was fascinating."
The teacher said "That was good. But I asked you to use the word 'Fascinate', not 'Fascinating'."

Sally raised her hand and said "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said "That was good. But I asked you to use the word 'Fascinate', not 'Fascinated'."

Little Joey raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she knew what Joey was like. But she decided there was no way he could damage the word fascinate, so she called on him.

Joey said "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons. But her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
 
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