The Jokes thread

joeyd999

Joined Jun 6, 2011
5,234
There was a girl that liked juggling unicycle riders...
I am surprised no one picked up on the dangling modifier. The correct reply was supposed to be:

"How many unicycle riders could she juggle?"

Unfortunately, I broke her heart so badly (AFAIK) that she gave up on dangling modifiers altogether...
 

#12

Joined Nov 30, 2010
18,224
Some wise guy said, "Getting married for a steady supply of sex is like buying an airline for a steady supply of peanuts." I say getting married for a steady supply of sex is like buying a pair of roller skates for a reliable way across the Atlantic ocean.
 

justtrying

Joined Mar 9, 2011
439
apparently some engineers are poets:

Flu: Beware of Toxic Ground

Since viruses of flu mutate, the government made clear:
They highly recommend take vaccinations every year.
If you inject some little germs, your system will fight back,
And build the antibodies that your body now may lack.

I got my vaccination for the bird flu like they said,
My vaccination for the swine flu or I might be dead.
My vaccination for the A flu, B flu, C flu, three,
My vaccinations for the yearly threats I'm told they see.

I took my state-blessed germs in duty's 50 years of shots,
I don't know if it helped too much but they sure cost us lots.
And worse those vaccinations, it may sadly soon be found,
Do nothing more than put on tomb: "Beware of toxic ground."

posting in jokes section as i do not mean to start a debate, just thought it was funny ;)
 

sirch2

Joined Jan 21, 2013
1,037
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
 
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