I've just unpacked and showered and can't seem to fall asleep given the energy drinks I guzzled on the drive from (south of) Houston to Orlando. We're on a family vacation to Disney World and made the 18hr drive (should have been 14 hrs per GPS, which apparently does not account for spring break traffic and 3 kids pee breaks) today starting at 7am. I lost 2 hours; 1 hour to the time zone and another to daylight saving time.

This is the first time in my adult life I've been to Florida (Not counting the time I visited P-Can in a submarine and got no shore leave, as naughty strantor was in time-out). I do however have social media and am accustomed to seeing "only in Florida" memes. I didn't pay attention to anything on the drive through Florida; it was already dark and I was on mental auto-pilot, and the only cranial algorith I had turned on was "Police Avoidance." So I didn't take notice of any uniquely Floridian oddities.

Pretty much the first thing I actually LOOKED at was the house I've rented, and immediately after stepping foot out of the shortbus, it was a big WTF. Is this one of those things that makes sense only in Florida? We have storm shudders protecting blank concrete on the first floor, and an exposed window on the second floor, directly above the pointless storm shudder.

 

It used to be a cartel safe house. The lower shutters are a diversion/delaying mechanism for police breaching teams. While the police work on them the upper floor becomes an "evidence free" zone.

 

The contractor in charge had no ladder handy so it was installed right there...

 

Have fun.

 

and immediately after stepping foot out of the shortbus

What part of me did you step out of? Couldn't have been my a$$ because according to a banned exmember that's where my head is.

 

Bad architectural accents aren't limited to Florida. For example,

Oh wait, that's in Florida too!

Here's one from somewhere else. I think.

 

What part of me did you step out of? Couldn't have been my a$$ because according to a banned exmember that's where my head is.

I call my suburban a shortbus LOL. I use it to haul around my window lickers.

 

@strantor
Enjoy your stay.

I suggest a game for the kids to keep them alert: How many "worlds" can you count?

Examples are Disney World (of course), Sea World, Hubcap World, Alligator World, Laser World.


p.s. If you have to unwind after visiting all of the "worlds" then try this:
https://boktowergardens.org/tower-gardens/the-carillon/

 

This is what we are dealing with right now.

The news makes it sound extraordinary, but Ft. Lauderdale has been a spring break destination as long as I can remember.

In my day, it wasn't so tame -- and the powers-that-be didn't care so much.

Good times.

Edit: I will admit, the bikinis have gotten smaller.

 

Here's one from somewhere else. I think.

Watch that first step. It is a doozy!

 

This is what we are dealing with right now.

The news makes it sound extraordinary, but Ft. Lauderdale has been a spring break destination as long as I can remember.

In my day, it wasn't so tame -- and the powers-that-be didn't care so much.

Good times.

Edit: I will admit, the bikinis have gotten smaller.

Their mothers must be so proud.

 

Their mothers must be so proud.

Exactly the phrase I was thinking of.

 

This is what we are dealing with right now.

The news makes it sound extraordinary, but Ft. Lauderdale has been a spring break destination as long as I can remember.

In my day, it wasn't so tame -- and the powers-that-be didn't care so much.

Good times.

Edit: I will admit, the bikinis have gotten smaller.

Ok so I will stay clear of Las Olas beach. Any recommendations of a clean beach to take the kids? I was planning on leaving for Daytona Beach in an hour and never considered it might be a scene from a porno.

 

Ok so I will stay clear of Las Olas beach. Any recommendations of a clean beach to take the kids? I was planning on leaving for Daytona Beach in an hour and never considered it might be a scene from a porno.

Personally, I think one of the best beaches in Florida is Clearwater Beach on the west central coast. It's the other direction from Daytona. I don't know what the spring break crowd looks like.

 

Also! If you go north, St. Augustine beaches are quiet and historic.

 

Ok so I will stay clear of Las Olas beach. Any recommendations of a clean beach to take the kids? I was planning on leaving for Daytona Beach in an hour and never considered it might be a scene from a porno.

The New Smyrna beach is south of Daytona and very nice. It takes a little longer to get to, so maybe it’s less crazy than Daytona. Canaveral seashore might also be a good choice.

 

I call my suburban a shortbus LOL. I use it to haul around my window lickers.

Same here. Enjoy your stay, Must be 20 years since we took the kids down there. Really enjoyed Disney World. The place does have stuff for everyone.

Ron

 

Personally, I think one of the best beaches in Florida is Clearwater Beach on the west central coast. It's the other direction from Daytona. I don't know what the spring break crowd looks like.

After posting I did some reading and had chosen Clearwater beach. Then decided it was still too cold to play in the water, so went back to bed and took a nap. Now we're about to head out and I have a better feeling now with your stamp of approval. I will report back with how the spring break crowd behaves.

 

Same here. Enjoy your stay, Must be 20 years since we took the kids down there. Really enjoyed Disney World. The place does have stuff for everyone.

Ron

I am typically very "anti-tourist-trap." I hate crowds and cheesy attractions. I would rather go off the beaten path and enjoy seclusion in a beautiful natural setting. I was not looking forward to this vacation.

But I must say, that Disney is not like other places. This is way better than I had anticipated. I'm happy with everything except the amount of money I'm spending (especially given I just lost my job Friday LOL).

Here's a review I posted to facebook the other day:

The Pandora exhibit at Disney's Animal Kingdom is a work of art, more impressive than any painting, sculpture, statue, or anything... I think this is literally the most impressive combined work of art and engineering that I have ever seen. The level of detail is astounding, and the scale of it is just... It's huge. I thought this was going to be stupid and cheesy. It's legit. If I woke up there, I would be convinced I was on a different planet. I took pics but they absolutely don't do it justice.

 

After posting I did some reading and had chosen Clearwater beach. Then decided it was still too cold to play in the water, so went back to bed and took a nap. Now we're about to head out and I have a better feeling now with your stamp of approval. I will report back with how the spring break crowd behaves.

If you're still in town tomorrow, take the yutes to Busch Gardens. You will not be disappointed.