https://apnews.com/article/dog-dui-colorado-dca3f5a155d4ce3c1d6a5c1aaa1e9d43
Colorado man tries to trade places with dog to avoid DUI arrest

The man said he was not behind the wheel and clearly showed signs of being drunk, police said. He ran from the officer when asked about how much he had had to drink and was caught within about 20 yards (18 meters), police said.

Do you know why I pulled you over?

"Bark bark bark bork bark bork bark"

Understandable, have a good day.

 

https://katu.com/news/nation-world/...resigns-resignation-special-election-politics

You have a crack pipe in your hand': Police body cam video shows councilman asleep in car

 

https://nypost.com/2023/05/18/sam-brinton-charge-stems-from-designers-missing-clothing/

 

https://nypost.com/2023/05/18/sam-brinton-charge-stems-from-designers-missing-clothing/
View attachment 294643

This was the one who was going to bring us a world powered by unicorn farts.

 

https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Food/osc...-hot-dog-wheels-frankmobile/story?id=99388901

The larger than life hot dog mobiles all have new features, from decals and rebranded "Frank Whistles" -- previously called "Wiener Whistles" -- to a newly renamed line-up of Hotdoggers behind the wheel, who will now be known as "Frankfurters."

Is there a Dr. Franknfurter in the house?

 

Man Finds Out He Is Not Related To Any Of The Children He Had With His Wife After Doing An Ancestry DNA Test

​

He started by saying that a few years back, his eldest daughter was asked to take a DNA test at school to “figure out ancestry”. When the results came back, his daughter was saddened to find out that the father she had known all of her life was not related to her at all.

 

Man Finds Out He Is Not Related To Any Of The Children He Had With His Wife After Doing An Ancestry DNA Test
View attachment 294682​

What a kick in the head, wonder what she said when asked to explain herself. For me I would say you better go find your babies daddy’s.

I’m out.

kv

 

What a kick in the head, wonder what she said when asked to explain herself. For me I would say you better go find your babies daddy’s.

I’m out.

kv

A kick in the balls is a better analogy ... and as for "go find your babies' daddies", I bet the wife would find a way force him to pay alimony and child support nevertheless ...

 

A kick in the balls is a better analogy ... and as for "go find your babies' daddies", I bet the wife would find a way force him to pay alimony and child support nevertheless ...

I was thinking the exact same thing.

If they are married, I do believe they would legally be his children, but I wouldn't bet money on that.

 

86 the Loretta scene.

 

They call her machete.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-65692232
US professor fired after machete threat to New York Post reporter

whackadoodle crazy

 

View attachment 294901
They call her machete.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-65692232
US professor fired after machete threat to New York Post reporter

whackadoodle crazy

And today I'm pretty sure she was arrested.

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=794725612109909&set=a.413568126892328&type=3&theater

 

 

Technically that is a mattocks, but either way it's pretty destructive.

 

Talking heads that don't know the difference between and pickaxe and mattock probably don't know the the difference between a burro and burrow. In other words, they don't know their ass from a hole in the ground!

 

Talking heads that don't know the difference between and pickaxe and mattock probably don't know the the difference between a burro and burrow. In other words, they don't know their ass from a hole in the ground!

We have a similar saying down here: "That guy doesn't even know on which side of his body his ass is located" ...

 

"That guy doesn't even know on which side of his body his ass is located"

I assume that sounds better in Spanish?

 

I assume that sounds better in Spanish?

Actually the straightforward translation is "that guy doesn't know on which side his buttocks are"

Yeah.. it's far funnier in spanish: "Ese tipo no sabe de que lado tiene las nalgas" ... ever heard that phrase, @atferrari ?

 

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/india-...ir-to-find-phone-suspended-for-wasting-water/

An Indian official has been suspended from his job for wasting hundreds of thousands of gallons of water after ordering a reservoir drained in a bid to find his cellphone.

Rajesh Vishwas, a food inspector with the Chhattisgarh state government, dropped his phone in the Paralkot reservoir — a scenic spot in central India — last weekend as he tried to take a selfie.

He first sent divers into the reservoir, but when they failed to find his $1,200 Samsung phone, he ordered the entire reservoir drained.