My boyfriend's brother is studying electrical engineering but he has this habit of delaying tasks and projects. Any help you can give will be highly appreciated.

No one is going to have a sure-shot answer. Most people are procrastinators about some things and not about others and what they procrastinate about today is usually not the same things that they procrastinated about a month ago and it will likely change tomorrow. It is a very erratic behavior.

The thing that works the best is to find something that is sufficient motivation -- and that is often something that is VERY hard to do, but sometimes we do find it, at least for a while.

One thing that I found to be very effective for a couple of years after I got out of the service and returned to college was to keep a very detailed record of my tasks and to make it a game to keep them cleared. I used a double-entry accounting type system in which I had a master log in which I recorded every assignment as it was assigned, including reading assignments and self-generated stuff such as taking notes on the reading or working exercise problems. The entry included the date assigned, the due date, the date completed, and the score (if applicable). I then transferred these into a similar sheet that was in the front of the binder for every course. This was in the 1980's, so no computer; today you could use all kinds of electronic means to do this. The purpose for the double-entry approach was so that, at a glance, I could see what my overall situation was like and also see what it was like in any particular course.

The game was to always try to get everything completed as fast as possible. Every time I went into my room the first thing I did was sit down and add any knew assignments. Then I would immediately see how many of them I could get done right then and there. Each one that got finished allowed me to update the entry to show it as complete and gave me a real sense of accomplishment in little chunks. The master sheet also let me see at a glance if things were piling up due to projects or what-not. The result was that most assignments were done the very day they were assigned and, come Friday night, the list was usually short enough that I could buckle down and get it completely cleared out before I went to bed (often at 3am or later). But that meant that the entire weekend was completely, 100% mine to do with as I pleased without any stress or guilt. It also meant that I started each week of completely caught up, including all of the reading assignments for the entire next week's class material (if not more). The end result was, by far, my most enjoyable and stress-free semester (the first one back) and also my very first 4.0 -- and I only studied for a single final exam (Diffy-Q) and that was for only about half an hour. The level of diligence really paid off in giving me a confident command of the material in all of my courses.

I wish I could say that I had found the key and that I am as diligent as that now -- but I can't. I think almost any system (especially if you are flying solo) will likely wane over time. But I still take that approach in short bursts to get lots of things done over a short amount of time (a few days or a couple weeks).

 

Personally, I've found three main sources of procrastination:

1. Lack of motivation. Which is closely related to good old laziness. The only cure for that is to grow up, and man up.
2. Fear. Your almost-in-law is afraid he might fail, and thus pospones everything for the last moment. Like a child avoiding the doctor's needle at all costs.
3. Analysis-Paralisis. Which is closely related to the previous point. This guy thinks that the longer he waits to act, the better chances he has to give his best performance. Which is plain wrong.

 

I've found that a major source of my procrastination is just getting the gumption to get started. Even for things that I'm looking forward to doing. Sometimes I'm just a bit unsure about what I need to do to get started, as so I put it off. Once I force myself to get going, I often find that keeping going isn't that difficult.

 

I've found that a major source of my procrastination is just getting the gumption to get started. Even for things that I'm looking forward to doing. Sometimes I'm just a bit unsure about what I need to do to get started, as so I put it off. Once I force myself to get going, I often find that keeping going isn't that difficult.

So you'd say you fall into the third category listed in my previous post? Because that's also my major weakness...

 

What do you know? There's an app for that!:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-stop-procrastinating-apps_us_58ab0f67e4b07602ad56aa64

 

Thank you all for these wonderful replies. Some are hilarious.
I was already on the brink of suggesting to my boyfriend to refer his brother to do some e-counseling. I heard this is a good way to consult therapists right now.

 

What do you know? There's an app for that!:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-stop-procrastinating-apps_us_58ab0f67e4b07602ad56aa64

Hey, thank you for this link. This is helpful.

 

In my case (70++yo but still working) I became a tightly self-controlled procrastinator: whatever must be done now, is done, but whatever could be left for a certain moment in the future, surely will be.

Some time ago I realized the reason: I feel genuinely fed up of dedicating my entire life to work and my "little soldier" attitude, always ready for the next battle. I understand that for a young future (maybe) EE is not the same.

BTW, even the Spanish equivalent, pronouncing procrastination or any possible variation, is hard to me. The expression became familiar to me maybe in the last 10 years (?). Wondering why I never heard of it before. The concept of "not now that" is not new by any means.

 

In my case (70++yo but still working) I became a tightly self-controlled procrastinator: whatever must be done now, is done, but whatever could be left for a certain moment in the future, surely will be.

Some time ago I realized the reason: I feel genuinely fed up of dedicating my entire life to work and my "little soldier" attitude, always ready for the next battle. I understand that for a young future (maybe) EE is not the same.

BTW, even the Spanish equivalent, pronouncing procrastination or any possible variation, is hard to me. The expression became familiar to me maybe in the last 10 years (?). Wondering why I never heard of it before. The concept of "not now that" is not new by any means.

The word is "decidioso" ...

 

So you'd say you fall into the third category listed in my previous post? Because that's also my major weakness...

I would have put it in the first category more than anything, although in some cases the third might be applicable. But there are lots of times that I don't think any of those three quite fit the bill as the major culprit, though I haven't given it enough thought to put in words what that fourth category might be. Perhaps it's no more complicated than "inertia", but in a way that is different than motivation or laziness.

 

Perhaps it's no more complicated than "inertia"

Yeah, that's the one. It happens to me too. It takes me a while to make up my mind, but once I get started I keep going out of a pleasant sense of accomplishment... and I hate interruptions when I'm in "the flow"

 

I feel genuinely fed up of dedicating my entire life to work and my "little soldier" attitude, always ready for the next battle.

Same attitude here until I drove myself too far and broke down hard. Fortunately that was in my early 20's and likely saved my life. Don't' give shyte' attitude does a lot of good for your overall health.

I'm in my 40's now and have been guessed to be mid 30's several times this last few weeks since I lost weight and started caring even less about who wants what when.

 

 

Probably just as effective as the 1980’s “just say no” campaign.

 

This is my problem.
I'm starting many devices and I do not finish them.
It's a fear of success. You can search the internet for something like that.

I do so with the girls. I am trying in the past in many ways to pick up.
When a girl even wanted to talk to me and be with me, I was afraid and I was out of relation.

After she finding someone else I felt sorry I was not with her.

Now,........
I'm on this forum, and I delayed what I had to do.

 

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/what-you-have-fear-success.html


Behaviors of Success-Fearing People:

• You don’t complete your projects (this could be at work or at home).
• ................................
  • Distraction is your middle name.
  • You don’t think your work is ever quite good enough.
  • And the big giveaway…you’re on the verge of ‘success’ and things start going really wrong.

 

And the big giveaway…you’re on the verge of ‘success’ and things start going really wrong.

For many it's the realization that if you succeed you likely will have put yourself in a position that will require a load of work, and related stress, to keep up with even if and when you don't really want it anymore.

Everyone fails and knows the feeling and thusly doesn't just other too harshly for it having happened for any number of reasons .

However, when you succeed too many are going to be continually trying to tear you down, and for and with the stupidest of shallow excuses and reasonings, that only justify their values and views, which again, are most often driven by their own inability to accept their own continual failures to achieve anything close to what you may have.

 

Hurrying a project doesn't satisfy me because if I complete it I need another to replace it with equal satisfaction. So, if I had a chess board and am playing against someone and BTW it's just an analogy, I suck at chess but it's about moving the pieces in your mind and calculating how many moves ahead and how many responses by your opponent. So, I like the process or the systematic way it goes.

When I was a kid I couldn't process and wanted it now unwilling to push constantly through until complete, impatient weak willed selfish and arrogant with no sympathy, deeply apathetic. Finally I learned while attending a college, a radio announcer while I was exiting the freeway (BTW, this announcement is back in the 80's and I still can't forget) well, this guy says kids today have extreme apathy and cannot see the future or consequences of their actions while in the here and now. If your stuck in the past or seeing the future without a path to get there your are doomed to failure because you have no idea how much energy or will and diligence to win in fortitude and strength of mind.

Bang, it hit my brain this person was so correct about me. Suddenly I realized I had the power over me and my future and it was in the palm of my hand to put myself out there and be vulnerable to face failure, pin point my actions to create my wins or my losses and not count them, but fight as hard as I can moving the chess pieces making it about me playing against myself and to hell what anyone else thinks, just do it changing my future forever.

Example : My youngest daughter wants to be an RN in a human anatomy class she failed last semester but, calls me now to tell me how well she is doing this semester while working and a mother of 2 decided after I spoke to her saying focus just on this one class giving her some study ideas she is now the top of her class. Truthfully I know how difficult the class is because the AMP can throw you to the ground and beat you to death, I've seen many students actually change their degrees to avoid it. This child was so afraid she would give up on anything difficult as a child nor to me a very bright crayon. But today is finally living up to her own expectations unwilling to let me or anyone put her in a box of denial and disappointment. I applaud her each time I receive a call of her success's and I encourage her or hug her in the defeats. She keeps falling and getting back on the horse, pony up is what you have to learn.

kv

 

My boyfriend's brother is studying electrical engineering but he has this habit of delaying tasks and projects. Any help you can give will be highly appreciated.

What @#12 et al. said! --- But then, perhaps, you needn't concern yourself with the study habits of (quasi) brothers-in-law?

Best regards
HP

 

What @#12 et al. said! --- But then, perhaps, you needn't concern yourself with the study habits of (quasi) brothers-in-law?

Best regards
HP

I am concern about him because he is already a family to me. My boyfriend is worried about him and shares it to me.