https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/hoover-maneuver-the-dirty-secret-of-emotional-abuse-0219154


These were the kind of parents I saw when young. They would use the children as extension of their lives, forcing them to excel in activities the children sometimes hated. At last back then, most of the parents didn't try short-cuts, they pushed Jane or Jimmy to actually be better than the other kids.

I've just learned something new, thank you.

 

My kids taught me a lot, i.e. I learned to adapt and modify my behaviour by listening to my kids (i.e. watching them grow and learning from them).

1) I learned that I do not own my children. I treat them with respect as I would any independent adult. No "hovering" or "helicopter parenting".

2) I listen to my kids and respect their feelings and needs.

3) I provide my kids with options and let them decide on their own.

4) I provide my kids opportunities to grow on their own, build their own self confidence and esteem. No "hoovering" required of them.

My children are all adults now and I can sit back and admire their individual accomplishments (with a pat on the back, mostly their mother's back).

As posted in the Off Off Topic thread, the essential word is RESPECT.

 

As posted in the Off Off Topic thread, the essential word is RESPECT.

Good points, I'd only add that it's also important to teach them that respect is a word that works both ways ...

 

So pushing your kids to excel is now a psychological disease?

Call the men in the white coats...I need to be committed.

 

So pushing your kids to excel is now a psychological disease?

Not at all, but this would surely qualify:

"They would use the children as extension of their lives, forcing them to excel in activities the children sometimes hated."

 

"They would use the children as extension of their lives, forcing them to excel in activities the children sometimes hated."

I "force" my daughter to attend piano lessons weekly, practice daily, and participate in a formal recital each year. She would rather watch TV or play on her iPhone -- and she claims to "hate" piano (though she is quite good at it).

Why do I "force" her to play piano?

Because I was deprived of music instruction as a kid (my mother was a concert pianist, believe it or not) and today I wish to hell that I could play music -- on any instrument. I don't want her to look back someday with the same regrets.

I also believe immersion in music makes kids smarter.

 

So pushing your kids to excel is now a psychological disease?

Call the men in the white coats...I need to be committed.

Nailed it. I'm in the same category to some degree.

 

I also believe immersion in music makes kids smarter.

So do I. I've been playing the guitar since I was 6. My kid plays a little guitar and piano, but it never caught on. Although he's been picking it back up as of late. He's 22 years old. The only thing I had to spur him for every once in a while were his studies. But I haven't done that for more than 10 years. He's got a 60% academic scholarship and is currently studying chemical engineering. He'll be leaving for Germany in a couple of months to study the last three semesters of his career up there. I couldn't be more proud of him.

My comment was referring to the kind of parents that won't leave their kids alone, giving them zero time for themselves and zero choice in what they do. Of course, I also believe that "forcing" them to do something they claim to hate (but which are actually good at) can be a good thing. Worst case scenario will be that they learn to tackle responsibility then and there, performing tasks that are tedious but necessary. Best case is that they actually learn to like what they're doing and grow a valuable talent. Either way, it's always a good outcome.

 

My comment was referring to the kind of parents that won't leave their kids alone, giving them zero time for themselves and zero choice in what they do.

Oh! You were speaking of my wife!

The narcissist in me thought you were talking about me!

 

Oh! You were speaking of my wife!

The narcissist in me thought you were talking about me!

Oh, Lord ... I feel deeply for your kids ...

 

Oh, Lord ... I feel deeply for your kids ...

And, I forgot to say, I also force her to listen to my corny jokes and (really awful) puns. In front of her friends.

She really hates that.

 

https://leaderpost.com/news/dodgeba...hers/wcm/12624ee1-fc75-4d3c-a4b7-bdbddc194fe9

But none rouse the passions of reform-minded educational progressives quite like dodgeball, the team sport in which players throw balls at each other, trying to hit their competitors and banish them to the sidelines of shame.

When the Canadian Society for the Study of Education meets in Vancouver at the Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences, a trio of education theorists will argue that dodgeball is not only problematic, in the modern sense of displaying hierarchies of privilege based on athletic skill, but that it is outright “miseducative.”
...
“As we consider the potential of physical education to empower students by engaging them in critical and democratic practices, we conclude that the hidden curriculum offered by dodgeball is antithetical to this project, even when it reflects the choices of the strongest and most agile students,” it reads.

This “hidden curriculum” in dodgeball is far more nefarious than your average gym class runaround. Dodgeball is “miseducative” because it “reinforces the five faces of oppression,” as defined by the late Iris Marion Young, a social and political theorist at the University of Chicago.

 

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

No wiser words have ever been spoken.

 

The 'cats eye' view of the world.
https://www.sciencemag.org/news/201...ing-here-s-what-they?utm_source=pocket-newtab

 

https://www.latimes.com/local/lanow...ss-city-hall-fleas-report-20190603-story.html

On Sunday, Council President Herb Wesson declined to comment on the CatsUSA report, saying he hadn’t seen it.

However, at a council meeting on the rat issue four months ago, he cautioned the public against blaming homeless individuals for the problem.


"I really want us to get to the facts,” Wesson said. “I do not want to have people who are unfortunately living on the streets blamed for something that they might not have anything to do with, but they're just an easy target."

How could this guy possibly say that with a straight face? Or could he be delusional from all of the methane and ammonia surrounding City Hall?

 

https://www.kptv.com/news/family-of...cle_aafa4dd4-88bf-11e9-9601-57209518e967.html

Investigators said Hoyt waited for an eastbound train to pass, then ran across the track without looking and was hit by an oncoming westbound train. TriMet reported that the train operator attempted to stop, but there wasn't enough time.

Sorry but she made a fatal mistake by crossing without looking. The train crossing had pedestrian warning devices, including flashing lights and ringing bells. What additional warning do you need other than actually looking at where you are going both ways?

I can hear the lawyer now: With all those warning bells going off, how was she supposed to hear the train?

 

https://www.kptv.com/news/family-of...cle_aafa4dd4-88bf-11e9-9601-57209518e967.html

Investigators said Hoyt waited for an eastbound train to pass, then ran across the track without looking and was hit by an oncoming westbound train. TriMet reported that the train operator attempted to stop, but there wasn't enough time.

Sorry but she made a fatal mistake by crossing without looking. The train crossing had pedestrian warning devices, including flashing lights and ringing bells. What additional warning do you need other than actually looking at where you are going both ways?

I can hear the lawyer now: With all those warning bells going off, how was she supposed to hear the train?

Looking at his cell phone most likely. WAY more important than looking for trains.

 

Looking at his cell phone most likely. WAY more important than looking for trains.

+1

https://www.oregonlive.com/news/201...freight-train-sues-for-almost-34-million.html
A Beaverton woman who police say was looking at her phone when a freight train hit her in 2017, causing both her legs to be amputated, is suing several railroad companies for $33.8 million.

https://www.oregonlive.com/news/201...o-lost-leg-running-in-front-of-max-train.html

TriMet faulted Laing for failing to heed warning signs or features that were designed to get pedestrians to “Stop, look and listen.” Laing testified that she didn’t pay attention to a “Look Both Ways” sign and a white bumpy strip on the ground because she’d become “habitualized” to them as a regular commuter.

TriMet’s attorney, Michael Shin, also said Laing was wearing a hoodie and earbuds playing loud music. Laing’s attorneys argued it couldn’t be determined what volume the music was playing at at the time of impact.

This TriMet surveillance video shows Andrea "Amy" Laing running in front of an oncoming MAX train

I don't see how the jury could award her one penny for this stupidity.

 

Way I figure is it is one more moron off the road that would be staring at their cell phone instead of looking at the road while driving. Scares the hell out of me when I am out on a bicycle rides, a car passes on my left, I look up and some idiot driver is looking at his phone.

Just yesterday, I was coming out of the supermarket parking lot on my bicycle. A van coming toward me with the driver staring at his phone. He must have gone a few hundred feet without looking up.

 

The poor Millennial dads.
https://nypost.com/2019/06/06/millennial-dads-have-pathetic-diy-skills-compared-to-baby-boomers/

Millennial dads are less likely than their boomer counterparts to be able to change a car tire on the side of the road, unblock a toilet or sink, reset a tripped circuit breaker or even open a stuck pickle jar with their hands.