The Jokes thread

nsaspook

Joined Aug 27, 2009
16,330
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
 

MrSalts

Joined Apr 2, 2020
2,767
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
My mom's advice back in the early 1960s, "don't act like a child, if everyone knows that one word means another, just say the other word". I was under 10 at the time. Swearing was not a big deal in my family and most of my siblings grew up to be people who rarely swear and some didn't really grow up.
 

BobTPH

Joined Jun 5, 2013
11,543
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:
Continuing in that theme, if you see anything dirty in these, it must be all in your mind:

What is the difference between a nun and a girl in the bathtub?

The former has hope in her soul.

What is the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a skinny girl?

The former is a phony buck.

What is the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a girls track team?
The former is a pack of cunning runts.

What is the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The former shucks between fits.
 
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