The long version:

"Esau Wood sawed wood. Esau Wood would saw wood. Oh, the wood Wood would saw! All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. In other words, all the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. Hence all the wood Wood would saw was not the wood Wood would saw if Wood's wood-saw would saw wood. Now Wood would saw wood with a wood-saw that would saw wood, so Esau sought a saw that would saw wood. One day Esau saw a saw saw as no other wood-saw would saw. In fact, of all the wood-saws Wood ever saw saw wood, Wood never saw a saw saw as the wood-saw Wood saw would saw. And I never saw a saw saw as the wood-saw Wood saw would saw until I saw Esau saw wood with the wood-saw Wood saw saw wood. Now, Wood saws wood with the wood-saw Wood saw saw wood."

 

Oh come on, half of that isn't even grammatically correct. "Oh, the wood Wood would saw." Is this "hillbilly English"? LOL...

 

Oh come on, half of that isn't even grammatically correct. "Oh, the wood Wood would saw." Is this "hillbilly English"? LOL...

No. It's all perfect English. Diagram the sentences, if you wish.

 

Oh, my bad. =P

 

That was a new one for me. I do remember something about a wood chuck from decades ago. That and some bear named Fuzzy Wuzzy...

 

 

I remember "Gilligan's Island" theme song. I never understood these lyrics:
"If not for the coverage of the fearless crew the Minnow would be lost."

We were talking about mistaking the lyrics of songs. Here's one that just recently came to my mind:
"Someone's in the kitchen with Dina
Someone's in the kitchen I know
Someone's in the kitchen with Dina
STRUGLING on the old banjo."

Ah, what fond memories.

 

I swear I was not at a strip club.

 

View attachment 280113

I swear I was not at a strip club.

this happened at your place?

 

this happened at your place?

It's just a random internet pic.

 

Many years back my first wife had a girlfriend come live with us. She had long blond hair (wife's girlfriend). She used the same washing machine we used. One day - true story here - my wife found a long blond hair in a pair of underwear I had just put on. I caught heck for it. Even reasoning with her about the laundry and the fact that this pair had just come out of the laundry - it didn't matter.

That's part of the reason why she and I are not married. Oh, and her girlfriend? Haven't a clue what happened to her.

Man that was a long time ago.

 

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/MsytIz9DwJU
Just watch it!

 

Did you hear about the cross-eyed circumciser?
No?
He got the sack.

 

I went to the Kleptomaniac's Anonymous meeting last night.
All the seats were taken.

 

 

​

 

View attachment 280558​

Being a cabinet maker - I can certainly relate to that one.

 

@shortbus
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gvBeTUCqEK4

 

@shortbus
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gvBeTUCqEK4

Tony that went right over my head. I don't get it. What am I missing?

 

Tony that went right over my head. I don't get it. What am I missing?

I think it was a short plane for a shortbus.