What is c h i t?

Chit is chit with a C instead of an S. In other words, instead of using foul language I used something that sounds close to the brown stinky stuff. And I've also heard people who pronounce SH as Ch.

In other words, and if a moderator wants to edit this; chit is my way of saying "shit".

 

 

Don't mess with the old folk!

An elderly lady pensioner went to her local bank stood in line for a teller, she got to the counter and told the teller she wished to withdraw $10.00
Sorry ma'am the new policy is anything under $100 you need to use the ATM.
The old lady thought for a moment and said OK, I want to withdraw everything in my account, the teller checked, then bent forward with a whisper and said, ma'am, you have over $1m in your account.
The bank does not keep that much money, you will have to make an appointment and come back tomorrow.
OK, she said, can I have $5,000, yes you can, was the slightly impatient reply.
For this the teller had to go to the vault and retrieve $5,000 in $10 & $20 bills.
She was beginning to look a little irked, and took 10 minutes counting it out in front of the lady.
The old lady, took a $10.00 bill and stuck it in her wallet, can I do anything else for you, the teller asked.
Yes, I would like to deposit $4,990 to my account, was her reply!

 

Maybe she has just taken this place up on their offer...

 

I could use a thorough scrubbing. Where's that special going on?

 

I could use a thorough scrubbing.

Especially my undercarriage!

 

Especially my undercarriage!

Getting a little salty?

 

Watch out for the vacuum cleaning however....

 

OUCH!

 

 

Good joke... too bad that the misspell of the word "THEN" is an eyesore...

 

I asked my girlfriend where would you like me to take you to dinner tonight and she answered I want you to take me somewhere where I've never been before so I said to her why don't you try the kitchen? "Drum roll please" . I am a single man now.

 

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Ok, I don’t get it?

 

Ok, I don’t get it?

It's abstract humor, my friend... Van Gogh is having an affair with the Mona Lisa...

 

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Okay I got one.

My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will. When I took them to be valued I was told they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius
Sadly, they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter

 

This one's better!
Saw Van Gogh in a Pub.
I said can I buy you a beer?
He replied no I got one Ear mate

 

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Took me a few seconds..,