View attachment 98815

Not fair! They have been there plenty of times. Winning at the big dance has been their problem.

 

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Pepe and his girlfriend are exhausted, laying in bed after a passionate session of love making.

Lupita says: Wouldn't it be wonderful, Pepe, if we have a baby and it's a girl, to name her María? Or better yet, if it's a boy we'll name him Pedro?

Pepe then desperately takes his condom off, quickly makes three tight knots on it and says: I don't know about that, but if he manages to get out of that thing we'll name him El Chapo!

 

 

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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:-
Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing’, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, its like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education.

 

Communication : You can't read a closed book.

 

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:-
Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

That's so going up on my Facebook page.

 

Our rule trumps your rule.

1. The Female is always right.
2. In case of disagreement, see rule #1.

 

Our rule trumps your rule.

1. The Female is always right.
2. In case of disagreement, see rule #1.

Here's a similar one:

When a man argues with a woman he will never, ever win... the best he can hope for is that it ends in a tie

 

Here's a similar one:

When a man argues with a woman he will never, ever win... the best he can hope for is that it ends in a tie

Yeah....around his neck from which he is hanging.

 

When a man argues with a woman he will never, ever win... the best he can hope for is that it ends in a tie

The way I see it, you can either be right or you can be happy. As long as I had a woman around, I decided to be happy.
Now I can be right and happy at the same time!

 

Our rule trumps your rule.

1. The Female is always right.
2. In case of disagreement, see rule #1.

 

There are two types of people in this world:

1) Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

That reminds me:

There are three types of people in this world:

1. Those who can count
2. Those who can't

 

There are 10 kinds of people: Those that understand binary and those that don't.

 

cmartinez said: ↑
Here's a similar one:

When a man argues with a woman he will never, ever win... the best he can hope for is that it ends in a tie

 

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Haha, I saw that the other day and almost posted it here.

 

View attachment 99826​

I don't like it.

It is contrary to Occam's razor, and essentially explains the liberal mind set: if an answer is not nuanced enough, it must be catastrophically wrong.

 

I don't like it.

It is contrary to Occam's razor, and essentially explains the liberal mind set: if an answer is not nuanced enough, it must be catastrophically wrong.

Yeah... the toon's controversial alright. I posted it because we sometimes demand simple explanations out of things that cannot be explained in simple (or simpler) terms, and end up believing the simplest explanation. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in the practicality of Occam's razor. But I think that sometimes it's overused, or applied in the wrong context, simply because it's not always true.

Such was the case when Mr Higgs was asked to explain the famous recently discovered boson particle named after him.