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The Jokes thread
- Thread starter R!f@@
- Start date
So, in your opinion, in order for an age to be considered golden, the age must be considered golden for everyone everywhere?
Personally, the mid 80s through the late 90s seemed pretty golden to me.
2016-2019 were good, too.
I expect the next few years will be some of the best ever (in history!). Some should just sit back and enjoy the ride. Plenty of time to cause trouble later.
Edit: since this is the jokes thread, will you consider it's a golden age when more the half of the population earns greater than the median wage?
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Not just in communist nations. Happening everywhere. Those who don't learn from history - those who don't learn from history - those who don't learn from history - those who don't learn from history - those who don't learn from history - get the point ? ? ?
Late 60's and most of the 70's for me. While there were tribulations, there were a lot of trib's I caused as well.
I wonder if that hook was ever used in real life ...
Today's Giggles by Davenn
DRILL PRESS: Useful for snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hand and flinging it across the room.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and calluses in the time it takes you to say, "Yeou!"
HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in holes until you die of old age.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. Vise-Grip pliers are generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads.
TORCH: Used almost entirely to testing for flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you wanted the bearing race removed.
TABLE SAW: A stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.
ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
TROUBLE LIGHT: Sometimes called a drop light. Its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105mm Howitzer shells were used during the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.
SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids, but it excels at converting screws into non-removable screws.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding the clip you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HAMMER: A kind of divining rod used to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
BOX KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of packages delivered to your front door. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
TOOL: Any handy object that you throw across the garage while yelling a string of obscenities, which usually is the next tool that you will need.
cheers
Dave
DRILL PRESS: Useful for snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hand and flinging it across the room.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and calluses in the time it takes you to say, "Yeou!"
HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in holes until you die of old age.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. Vise-Grip pliers are generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads.
TORCH: Used almost entirely to testing for flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you wanted the bearing race removed.
TABLE SAW: A stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.
ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
TROUBLE LIGHT: Sometimes called a drop light. Its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105mm Howitzer shells were used during the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.
SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids, but it excels at converting screws into non-removable screws.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding the clip you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HAMMER: A kind of divining rod used to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
BOX KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of packages delivered to your front door. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
TOOL: Any handy object that you throw across the garage while yelling a string of obscenities, which usually is the next tool that you will need.
cheers
Dave
By (*steve*)
SMT COMPONENT: A component designed with the fundamental requirement that it be too small to contain meaningful markings.
SMT CONSTRUCTION: Any means of construction of an electronic device where a single sneeze can send all components to the darkest corner of the bench.
DESOLDERING BRAID: Used to conduct heat from your soldering iron as rapidly as possible to your fingers.
SOLDER SUCKER: A device which will suck almost all the solder from a joint leaving just enough to hold a part firmly in place.
LEAD FREE SOLDER: A special solder designed to make all of your joints look cold.
REWORK TOOL: A special device designed to desolder and blow away components neighbouring the one you're trying to work on.
BGA: A package designed to be impossible to solder, and even harder to check.
DFN: A package style designed to infuriate those too smart to be tricked into using BGA.
CHINA: A way to say "Hell" in mixed company. (as in "This device must have been designed in China.")
KOREA: Obsolete form of CHINA.
TAIWAN: Obsolete form of KOREA.
JAPAN: Obsolete form of TAIWAN.
REWORK: Fancy way of saying "What couldn't I solder right the first time".
STATIC WORKSTATION: The part of your bench that is so covered with half completed projects that you have to work somewhere else.
SMT COMPONENT: A component designed with the fundamental requirement that it be too small to contain meaningful markings.
SMT CONSTRUCTION: Any means of construction of an electronic device where a single sneeze can send all components to the darkest corner of the bench.
DESOLDERING BRAID: Used to conduct heat from your soldering iron as rapidly as possible to your fingers.
SOLDER SUCKER: A device which will suck almost all the solder from a joint leaving just enough to hold a part firmly in place.
LEAD FREE SOLDER: A special solder designed to make all of your joints look cold.
REWORK TOOL: A special device designed to desolder and blow away components neighbouring the one you're trying to work on.
BGA: A package designed to be impossible to solder, and even harder to check.
DFN: A package style designed to infuriate those too smart to be tricked into using BGA.
CHINA: A way to say "Hell" in mixed company. (as in "This device must have been designed in China.")
KOREA: Obsolete form of CHINA.
TAIWAN: Obsolete form of KOREA.
JAPAN: Obsolete form of TAIWAN.
REWORK: Fancy way of saying "What couldn't I solder right the first time".
STATIC WORKSTATION: The part of your bench that is so covered with half completed projects that you have to work somewhere else.
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