But you can vote it out of office.

Maybe not.

 

Everyone has a bad day once in a while. And today was mine!

1. It started last night. I accidentally put my ADHD medicine in with my nighttime meds. I couldn’t get to sleep until 4am. The plus side was that I got a lot done at 12, 1, 2, 3 and 4am

2. Then I was wide awake at 7am. I had a busy day ahead, so napping was out of the question. Besides a nap would further screw with my sleep cycle.

3. I had to take my car in for routine maintenance. I was expecting a $49.95 bill. But my front tires were shot. $469.95 later! More on this later...

4. The dealer shuttle drove me to Chili’s where I ordered lunch. I also brought my laptop to do some work. I ordered tacos. I was distracted by the work, but noticed the taco shells were “funky”. When I took a break from the work, I realized why they were funky. I HAD BEEN EATING THE WRAPPING PAPER!

5. I got a call from the dealer and they were going to pick me up. I went to pay my tab, AND I DIDN’T HAVE MY WALLET! I change my pants once a week but I always forget to move my wallet. It worked out because I have my CC memorized.

6. I got to the dealer. See post #5. I DIDN’T HAVE MY WALLET! It was ok; they were able to accommodate me.

I’m home now. Don’t want to fall asleep, so I’m writing this post. Tomorrow will be a brighter day. Take care everyone and pray you don’t have a day like today.

 

Everyone has a bad day once in a while. And today was mine!

1. It started last night. I accidentally put my ADHD medicine in with my nighttime meds. I couldn’t get to sleep until 4am. The plus side was that I got a lot done at 12, 1, 2, 3 and 4am

2. Then I was wide awake at 7am. I had a busy day ahead, so napping was out of the question. Besides a nap would further screw with my sleep cycle.

3. I had to take my car in for routine maintenance. I was expecting a $49.95 bill. But my front tires were shot. $469.95 later! More on this later...

4. The dealer shuttle drove me to Chili’s where I ordered lunch. I also brought my laptop to do some work. I ordered tacos. I was distracted by the work, but noticed the taco shells were “funky”. When I took a break from the work, I realized why they were funky. I HAD BEEN EATING THE WRAPPING PAPER!

5. I got a call from the dealer and they were going to pick me up. I went to pay my tab, AND I DIDN’T HAVE MY WALLET! I change my pants once a week but I always forget to move my wallet. It worked out because I have my CC memorized.

6. I got to the dealer. See post #5. I DIDN’T HAVE MY WALLET! It was ok; they were able to accommodate me.

I’m home now. Don’t want to fall asleep, so I’m writing this post. Tomorrow will be a brighter day. Take care everyone and pray you don’t have a day like today.

Good Lord ... hang in there, DJ ... only about 8 hours more to go!

 

I change my pants once a week...

Ewwww!

Weren't you the one with girl problems? I think I just figured out the root cause...

 

Ewwww!

Weren't you the one with girl problems? I think I just figured out the root cause...

Note that this is The Jokes Thread, Joey.

And no, I don’t have any problems with women. Unless you consider trying to juggle two or three at a time a problem.

 

only about 8 hours more to go!

OH GEEZ. Never tell a sleepy man he has only eight more hours till he can close his eyes.

 

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speeding in Canada

 

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Hello,

Found on the Project Dalek Forum:



Bertus

 

 

The Mexican version of the Infinity Gauntlet:

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Two old hand cowboys sitting on a bench outside the local saloon when a young cowpoke rides up, ties his horse to the hitching rail and then goes behind the horse, lifts its tail and swipes his hand across the - um - orifice. Then wipes what he's collected across his lips. The two cowboys shout "WHAT THE HECK!!!" The cowpoke says "Chapped lips." One of the cowboys says "And that cures it?" "Nope" said the poke. "But it sure does keep me from licking my lips."

{{{note to self - pg. 81}}}

 

A nun is walking back to the convent after Sunday services. She decides to take the long way back by visiting the park. Half way through a man jumps out from behind a bush, drags her in and has his way with her.

"Now, sister," says the man "What'cha gonna tell the Holy Father?"

"I'm going to tell him the truth" she responds. "I was taking a stroll through the park when a man jumped out from behind a bush and had his way with me twice. Unless you're tired."

 

Tarzan was doing his thing in the jungle when the vine broke. The first limb he hit ripped out an eyeball. The second limb tore his arm completely off. The third limb completely removed his genitalia. The natives found him and rushed him to the Witchdoctors hut. He looked Tarzan over and told them to bring him the eye of eagle and patched his eye. He told them to bring him the arm of a young gorilla and patched his arm. Looking at what was left of his crotch he scratched his head and finally told them to bring him the trunk of a young elephant and finished patching him up. He told Tarzan to leave the vine-swinging off for a while and come back when he was feeling better and sent him on his way. Several weeks later Tarzan shows up back at the Witchdoctors hut to be checked out. The Witchdoctor looks him over and asks how the eye is doing. Tarzan says oh man I love this thing. I can see the fleas on a Hyena from 500 yards away. The Witchdoctor nods sagely and asks how about the arm? Tarzan says it's great! I can run around the jungle ripping small trees out the ground with ease. The Witchdoctor nods and asks how is that baby elephant trunk working out? Tarzan turns red and hangs his head. The Witchdoctor says hey I'm your doctor don't be ashamed and tell me what's wrong. Tarzan kinda grins and says well Jane thinks it's great, but every time I turn around it keeps trying to shove hay up my ass.

 

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View attachment 182495​

 

Why did he egg cross the road?




cause he was waiting to be laid

 

And why did the Chicken cross the road?

Because the Coon and Possum bet him it couldn't be done.