Sign seen on a bar/pub:
IRISH YOU WERE BEER

 

Sign seen on a bar/pub:
IRISH YOU WERE BEER

Sign seen in a bar/ pub

FREE BEER TOMORROW!

They never took the sign down.

 

An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you on three occasions during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?' "

Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?

Martha asked, "Do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."


"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."


"All right," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 53 more votes?"

 

​

 

The new SmartCar refused to ride because it is better for the environment

 

A bunch of guys talk about their plans to go out that evening.
One guy says: “I heard about this great bar opening up downtown. For just $5 you get 7 drinks and get laid!!!”.
All his friends exclaim:“Wow man! That’s amazing! Who told you that?”.
And the guy says: “My sister!”.

 

Doesn't anyone proof check flyer photo's anymore?
Max.

 

Doesn't anyone proof check flyer photo's anymore?
Max.

A little help, please. My eyes aren't so young anymore.

 

A little help, please. My eyes aren't so young anymore.

I think mine are possibly older than yours!
Max.

 

Doesn't anyone proof check flyer photo's anymore?
Max.

Actually, I wonder if they did it on purpose

 

Actually, I wonder if they did it on purpose

I'm not too sure about that?
You may (or may not) remember the faux pas in the Sears catalogue some years ago in the men's underwear section where a shot of a guy modeling boxer shorts had a similar, but real, revealing appendage on one side.
Max.

 

Actually, I wonder if they did it on purpose

You may (or may not) remember the faux pas in the Sears catalogue some years ago in the men's underwear section where a shot of a guy modeling boxer shorts had a similar, but real, revealing appendage on one side.

What the heck are you guys talking about? I don't see it!

 

What the heck are you guys talking about? I don't see it!

When I took it out of the mail box I did a double take, just to check it was not me, I showed it to a couple of friends, both male and female, and they saw it right away.
The young lady appears to have a male appendage.
Just an unfortunate picture, one I think she will get ribbed over.
Max.

 

When I took it out of the mail box I did a double take, just to check it was not me, I showed it to a couple of friends, both male and female, and they saw it right away.
The young lady appears to have a male appendage.
Just an unfortunate picture, one I think she will get ribbed over.
Max.

That's a bicycle seat, dammit! And @#12 thinks I'm a perv?

I was looking for a boob hanging out...or maybe the dog had an erection or something (which would be perfectly understandable).

 

That's a bicycle seat, dammit! And @#12 thinks I'm a perv?

I was looking for a boob hanging out...or maybe the dog had an erection or something (which would be perfectly understandable).

It's meant to be subliminal, Joey... the publisher is surely hoping that most people are pervs, deep down...

 

That's a bicycle seat, dammit! And @#12 thinks I'm a perv?

I was looking for a boob hanging out...or maybe the dog had an erection or something (which would be perfectly understandable).

Lighten up!
I can't help it we are perceptive to humorous mistakes in advertising!
I would not by any stretch consider myself a Perv. Nor I suspect is Senor Martinez.
Max.

 

It's meant to be subliminal, Joey...

Is this your assumption? Or do you have proof?

Honest to God: it looks like a bicycle seat to me. Granted, I bicycle often with my wife and daughter, so maybe I am conditioned to see a bicycle seat where others might see something else I guess.

 

On a side note that may be apropos of the current subject as this is 'The Jokes Thread', every one's perception of humour is different, Especially between the sexes, women tend to prefer men that make them laugh and men generally prefer to be the source of the amusement.
I have sort of studied it, non-scientifically over the years and have noted some of the differences as to what amuses each of the sexes.
For example the British comedies and Satire that came out of the 60's with such as the David Frost show and the Goon Show followed by Monty Python shows and the subsequent Movies, Life of Brian, Holly Grail etc, were not received that well by the female population, most of the avid followers were male who generally embraced it whole hardheartedly.
I am reluctant to place a label on someone just because one finds something funny or amusing and they don't.
Max.

 

The key to the illusion is that the color of the seat leather is so very nearly the same as the model's skin. Maybe joey is colorblind? Anyway, I saw it at first glance. But I did keep looking for something else.

 

I am reluctant to place a label on someone just because one finds something funny or amusing and they don't.

I find joey's way of thinking funny most of the time.