see attached pin diagram for the FETs if they look correct. i have the the following connected:47kΩ is fine.
Sounds like you have the MOSFET's source and drain connections interchanged.
With that, the substrate diode will continually conduct the current, independent of whether the MOSFET is biased on or off.
nmos: S-ground, G-series resistor to uC's output, D-gate of p-mos and 47kohm resistor.
pmos: S-+12V and other side of 47kohm resistor, G-drain of n-mos and 47kohm resistor, D-LED positive side (high side of load)
the flipped the s & d of p-mos per your previous message and now, lights do not turn on at all even after uC's input.