Taking risks and facing fears to achieve something good is the definition of bravery.

All brave acts require a proper mix of stupidity and optimism as key ingredients.

It is correct for your friends to warn you away from being brave. Friends want to protect your back and keep you out of pain. But, once you decide to be brave, your friends take a different point of view.

If your choice leads to failure, we'll applaud your bravery. If your choice leads to success, we'll applaud your good foresight.

It's more like:

If your choice leads to success, we'll applaud your bravery.

If your choice leads to failure, we'll point out your stupidity.

 

If your choice leads to failure, we'll point out your stupidity.

If you do that, be prepared to have your own failures and stupidity highlighted in return.

 

I think there's a difference between giving a second chance, and forgetting. it never hurts to keep an eye open, and if she does it again, third chances shouldn't happen.
If youre suspicious, it's justified. if she say's youre not justified in being a bit suspicious, she's dead wrong.

 

if she say's youre not justified in being a bit suspicious, she's dead wrong.

She would be wrong, but that won't happen. She will know he is justified. However, she may lose patience if the wound does not heal without a scar. There is a big difference between giving a second chance and forgetting, but the former must lead to the latter eventually, or it all for naught. She has no right to force the time table, but he has no right to hold this over her head forever. He must eventually forget, or notify her that he can't forget. No human should endure the purgatory they are headed into for more than a year. Forgive and forget go hand in hand. One starts the process, and the other ends the process. If the process is not completed, then a true bond of love has not been formed. At that point, the issue of being comfortable with each other is moot and it will be time to move on.

 

If you are suspicious, you haven't forgiven her. If you haven't forgiven her, then you should not be trying to restart this relationship. The thing is, you don't have to forget, you do have to forgive. Many people forget, but never forgive and that destroys both parties, I know, from a different relationship, but I can assure you that it is true.

 

I think there's a difference between giving a second chance, and forgetting. it never hurts to keep an eye open, and if she does it again, third chances shouldn't happen.
If youre suspicious, it's justified. if she say's youre not justified in being a bit suspicious, she's dead wrong.

I disagree with you on that.
I forgave her the moment she told it to me, mainly because she confessed it to me and I didn't have to find out by myself.

However, there's a difference between being able to forgive, and being able to put it behind and make a fresh start.

For example, you give your basketball to someone, he loses it, and you forgive him, but it doesn't mean that next time you'll give it to him again.

 

Guys!
I appreciate your opinions on the situation.
I read everything that every one of you said, and I'm glad I shared it with you.

I hope things will turn out well for us
Only time will tell..

 

Maybe she was testing you. Perhaps you are all she wants and needs, and to be totally sure, she did this. She wanted you to forgive her, by telling it to you. To see how you reacted, and if you forgave her.

You've passed the test. Congrats!

 

From what I gathered, you two haven't been able to see each other very often over the time you've been "dating". In my experience, girls want attention from a guy more often than that. They can't seem to go more than a week or so away from their boyfriend. My advice: Try to work it out so that you two can see each other more frequently--maybe twice a week or so. Show her that you're willing to be there for her, and that she doesn't need to go looking for attention from another guy.

I was tempted to post this on your original thread--that you try it one more time, with a mutual understanding that if either of you cheated on the other again, it would be over. But you decided to let her go before I could post it. Personally, I'm glad you chose to give her a second chance, but you both need to be careful. As I said, try to take her out more frequently. See how things go.

Regards,
Der Strom

Hi Der Strom,
I loved reading your post!
That's exactly the case, she suffers from a lack of self-esteem, and needs this attention perhaps more than others.
I'm happy you think I chose right, as it seems that you got it perfectly.
Have you been through such situation before?

 

Hi Der Strom,
I loved reading your post!
That's exactly the case, she suffers from a lack of self-esteem, and needs this attention perhaps more than others.
I'm happy you think I chose right, as it seems that you got it perfectly.
Have you been through such situation before?

As a matter of fact, yes. My first girlfriend was that way. She lived rather far away from me, so we weren't able to see each other very often. It was one of those long distance relationships you hear about all the time. I would go and visit her every now and then, and she would visit me, but it was very infrequent. Anyway, I soon found out that she was still dating around and had had several boyfriends since me.

My situation was a little different in that we were never officially "together". That is why I don't hold a grudge. Technically, she didn't cheat on me, but it still gave me a little insight towards people in similar situations.

I'm glad my post helped. I wish all the best to the both of you

Regards

 

As a matter of fact, yes. My first girlfriend was that way. She lived rather far away from me, so we weren't able to see each other very often. It was one of those long distance relationships you hear about all the time. I would go and visit her every now and then, and she would visit me, but it was very infrequent. Anyway, I soon found out that she was still dating around and had had several boyfriends since me.

My situation was a little different in that we were never officially "together". That is why I don't hold a grudge. Technically, she didn't cheat on me, but it still gave me a little insight towards people in similar situations.

I'm glad my post helped. I wish all the best to the both of you

Regards

Thanks mate!
Most long distance relationships are not meant to work because of that issue.. especially when you are away from each other from the very beginning..

 

Only time will tell..

indeed, I wish you good fortune and the best of luck

 

Thank you!

I must admit, it's not easy for me to put my trust in her again.

Like, if I have to leave the country for a business trip for 2 weeks, I wouldn't feel so comfortable at this stage with this situation..
Even though she told me it won't happen again..

 

Well in electronics if you want to know if a circuit is acting up when you are not there, you put some test gear in place.

 

Well in electronics if you want to know if a circuit is acting up when you are not there, you put some test gear in place.

I already mentioned this in post #4 and everyone got mad at me... I'd still track her lil kaboose! Other then GPS logger under the bumper, another great one is if shes not so smart, buy her a new phone for her birthday or just cause you love her. Then install software to track the phone, get updates on her txt msg's, etc... Just don't turn on mic, or video without her knowing or you could be in big trouble if your not the gov.

 

I already mentioned this in post #4 and everyone got mad at me... I'd still track her lil kaboose! Other then GPS logger under the bumper, another great one is if shes not so smart, buy her a new phone for her birthday or just cause you love her. Then install software to track the phone, get updates on her txt msg's, etc... Just don't turn on mic, or video without her knowing or you could be in big trouble if your not the gov.

That's the way to do it.