I know, not a headline but in line with the thread

 

I wish I had known this before

https://babylonbee.com/news/researc...alled-not-drinking-copious-amounts-of-alcohol

 

I wish I had known this before

https://babylonbee.com/news/researc...alled-not-drinking-copious-amounts-of-alcohol

Ah, the infallible results of retroactive treatments never cease to amaze me ....

 

I wish I had known this before

https://babylonbee.com/news/researc...alled-not-drinking-copious-amounts-of-alcohol

What's the fun of a hangover if you hadn't been drinking the night before?

 

You mean shoving Doritos in your face all day is not the way to lose weight?

 

I wish I had known this before

https://babylonbee.com/news/researc...alled-not-drinking-copious-amounts-of-alcohol

These researchers should receive the Nobel Prize.

 

These researchers should receive the Nobel Prize.

They got free beer which is better.

 

Monkeys will never type Shakespeare, study finds

​

However, a new peer-reviewed study led by Sydney-based researchers Stephen Woodcock and Jay Falletta has found that the time it would take for a typing monkey to replicate Shakespeare's plays, sonnets and poems would be longer than the lifespan of our universe.

 

Monkeys will never type Shakespeare, study finds
View attachment 334883​

One monkey won't, but an infinite number of monkeys will.

In fact, according to multiverse theory, it's already happened. An infinite number of times.

And with only one monkey.

 

Creating a single work of Shakespeare at random is certainly possible.
However, consider how many times it came close but the spelling of one word was incorrect.
Then consider that you have to check every attempt against every work of Shakespeare which of course would not match.
In the meantime, you will also have perfect matches of a limerick from an infinite number of sources.

 

Creating a single work of Shakespeare at random is certainly possible.
However, consider how many times it came close but the spelling of one word was incorrect.
Then consider that you have to check every attempt against every work of Shakespeare which of course would not match.
In the meantime, you will also have perfect matches of a limerick from an infinite number of sources.

Theoretically, one only need the first and last letter of each word to be correct. The human mind will fill in the rest.

 

One monkey won't, but an infinite number of monkeys will.

In fact, according to multiverse theory, it's already happened. An infinite number of times.

And with only one monkey.

That's why infinities and multiverses are both mathematical pipe-dreams.

Even if every proton in the observable universe (which is estimated at roughly 10^80) were a monkey with a typewriter, typing from the Big Bang until the end of the universe (when protons might no longer exist), they would still need a far greater amount of time – more than three hundred and sixty thousand orders of magnitude longer – to have even a 1 in 10^500 chance of success. To put it another way, for a one in a trillion chance of success, there would need to be 10^360,641 observable universes made of protonic monkeys.[g] As Kittel and Kroemer put it in their textbook on thermodynamics, the field whose statistical foundations motivated the first known expositions of typing monkeys,[5] "The probability of Hamlet is therefore zero in any operational sense of an event ...", and the statement that the monkeys must eventually succeed "gives a misleading conclusion about very, very large numbers."

In fact, there is less than a one in a trillion chance of success that such a universe made of monkeys could type any particular document a mere 79 characters long.[h]

 

Theoretically, one only need the first and last letter of each word to be correct. The human mind will fill in the rest.

View attachment 334888

Your example is a very good example of why our cryptographic code school typing class was so tricky. We had to type (at X typing speed) random code groups (audio or visual presentation) perfectly for 5 long ass minutes to pass the course. You learn to disconnect the part of brain that auto-corrects and create a mental perfect memory buffer for individual code sequences, not words that might be parts of human intelligence..

 

They were losing so many students the Navy tried several ways to improve success rate.

Basic typing instruction takes place in a small room for students at TTY terminals
supported by videotape consoles. The students are given up to eight 2-hour sessions to
learn the keyboard and build their typing speed up to 300 functions per 5-minute period
(about 12 words per minute). Any time students feel that they are ready to qualify at a
particular level of performance, they may request a test assignment from the computer.
However, during the ninth session, if they have not already done so, students must
attempt to qualify at the 300 function level. An additional requirement at this point is
that certain critical lines must be typed with 100 percent accuracy. An error in one of
these lines causes a "fatal error," and results in a 0 qualification level, or a "failed" test.
If students fail the 300 level test three times, they are assigned to mandatory night
study, allowed one more practice session, and then assigned up to three more tests during
the next session. Regardless of the outcome of these tests, the next three typing
assignments serve as practice for the 400 function level. During the fourth session,
students are instructed to qualify at 400 functions, and the same pattern of testing ensues
as for 300 functions. A slight change in procedure occurs if a student fails the first three
tests at the 500 function level. Because this level of skill is required to progress to other
parts of the course, a student must remain in the typing session until he achieves the 500
function level. This can take more than 2 weeks of day-long typing, with mandatory night
study after three test failures. If progress remains inadequate, the student ultimately
goes before an academic review board. The procedure for qualifying at 600 functions is
the same as for 300 and 400 functions; and that for qualifying at 700 functions, the same
as for 500 functions. However, two extra practice sessions are allowed before the CMI
computer requires a student to qualify at the final level of 700 functions.'

https://apps.dtic.mil/sti/tr/pdf/ADA096721.pdf

This was after I passed the class years before. I knew guys that said they took LSD to pass and get their sparks.

 

Monkeys will never type Shakespeare, study finds
View attachment 334883​

They may not be able to type Shakespear but will be able to Shake Spear to repel dangers when wild life/world emBarks :--"

 

They may not be able to type Shakespear but will be able to Shake Spear to repel dangers when wild life/world emBarks :--"

They will evolve and then write everything.

From bone to nuclear weapon in space

 

They will evolve and then write everything.

From bone to nuclear weapon in space

not necessarily.

 

not necessarily.

View attachment 334954View attachment 334955

Yes, the “humanity screwed up the Earth” meme.

 

Yes, the “humanity screwed up the Earth” meme.
View attachment 334957

May the force be with you

 

https://www.oregonlive.com/politics...xperiment-worked-until-the-money-ran-out.html
Multnomah County’s universal basic income experiment worked, until the money ran out