@strantor, you're not going to like hearing this but, the description of your mind's lack of focus is much like mine was when I was in my late 30s. I discovered I was sleep deprived because I had the feeling, that sleep was a waste of time. It was also a believe that if I got one more thing done before I left work, I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. And that turned Into, now that I stayed late at work, I have to spend extra time with my kids tonight. And that turned into, I spent so much time with the kids that I still have to do dishes and catch up on the bills and check my email. And that turned into, I need a bit of quiet me-time before I go to bed. In the end, sleeplessness leads to lack of focus. But you might say, I get crap done. And I'm sure you do. You are possibly even more creative in how you get crap done because you are actually using much more of your brain because you are stressed (from lack of sleep). Using much more of your brain is not something humans normally need to do so we are not good at it and it takes a huge amount of energy. Salvidore Dali did experiments on sleep and creativity and that cusp of time when you are just falling asleep.
If you are not stressed and not causing your own lack of sleep, maybe you have a sleep disorder like Sleep Apnea or labored snoring. There are apps that can diagnose now, unlike the need to go to sleep clinics several years ago. You'll find sleep is a wonderful thing and life is more relaxing snd less urgent. Oh yeah, for some reason, lack of sleep makes people feel that everything is urgent when it is not. So you yell at people or get impatient for no reason? Sleep issues are likely.
Finally, meditation is not about clearing everything from your mind. It is about clearing all but one thing from your mind. Meditation can be as simple as the 5-10 minutes of quiet in your morning shower as you think about your day or a particular problem from yesterday. The white noise, the flowing water, the temp, all calm and let you concentrate like no other time.
If you are not stressed and not causing your own lack of sleep, maybe you have a sleep disorder like Sleep Apnea or labored snoring. There are apps that can diagnose now, unlike the need to go to sleep clinics several years ago. You'll find sleep is a wonderful thing and life is more relaxing snd less urgent. Oh yeah, for some reason, lack of sleep makes people feel that everything is urgent when it is not. So you yell at people or get impatient for no reason? Sleep issues are likely.
Finally, meditation is not about clearing everything from your mind. It is about clearing all but one thing from your mind. Meditation can be as simple as the 5-10 minutes of quiet in your morning shower as you think about your day or a particular problem from yesterday. The white noise, the flowing water, the temp, all calm and let you concentrate like no other time.