Alfred Griner "Alferd" Packer (January 21, 1842 – April 23, 1907) was an American prospector who confessed to cannibalism during the winter of 1874. He and 5 other men attempted to travel through the high mountains of Colorado during the peak of a harsh winter. When only Alfred reached civilization, he claimed that the others had killed each other for food, and confessed to having lived off the flesh of his companions during his snowbound state and to having used it to survive his trek out of the mountains two months later.

"Legend has it that Judge Melville B. Gerry of Lake City , a Democrat, pronounced sentence upon Packer this way: 'You voracious man-eating son of a bitch, there was seven Democrats in Hinsdale County and you ate five of them. God damn you! I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you are dead, Dead, DEAD, as a warning against reducing the Democratic population of Hinsdale County. Packer, you Republican cannibal, I would sentence you to Hell but the statutes forbid it.'"

 

Alfred Griner "Alferd" Packer (January 21, 1842 – April 23, 1907) was an American prospector who confessed to cannibalism during the winter of 1874. He and 5 other men attempted to travel through the high mountains of Colorado during the peak of a harsh winter. When only Alfred reached civilization, he claimed that the others had killed each other for food, and confessed to having lived off the flesh of his companions during his snowbound state and to having used it to survive his trek out of the mountains two months later.

"Legend has it that Judge Melville B. Gerry of Lake City , a Democrat, pronounced sentence upon Packer this way: 'You voracious man-eating son of a bitch, there was seven Democrats in Hinsdale County and you ate five of them. God damn you! I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you are dead, Dead, DEAD, as a warning against reducing the Democratic population of Hinsdale County. Packer, you Republican cannibal, I would sentence you to Hell but the statutes forbid it.'"

This is somehow funny? You have one really strange sense of humor.

 

 

@RichardO

I thought it was funny.

 

Joe took his, knock-down gorgeous, blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

"I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

"I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"

Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy.

 

 

This is somehow funny? You have one really strange sense of humor.

Yes, I like quirky history.

Since you liked that then you will like this movie:
Grandpa's Still In the TOUGH SHED:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0410044/

 

View attachment 101560

The inside of a teenager's head would be include a large area for ... other things.

 

The inside of a teenager's head would be include a large area for ... other things.

Apparently that goes away when the attic is finished off as living space. Not sure my attic is so well finished.

 

Back to limericks

There was a light-racer named Fisk
Who took an incredible risk
When his dragster got traction
The Fitzgerald Contraction
Reduced his wazoo to a disk.

 

(courtesy of my brother)

blonde girl takes her car to the mechanics

she explains to the mechanic that its been running really badly like somethings wrong with the engine.

the mechanic says 'if thats the case, might take a couple of days to fix'

so she leaves the car there and goes home.

10 minutes after she got there she gets a call from the mechanic

mechanic says 'you car's running great now'

blonde girl says 'what was wrong with it?'

mechanic says 'shit on the air filter'

blonde girl says ' how often do i need to do that?'

 

The inside of a teenager's head would be include a large area for ... other things.

You mean, empty space?

 

You mean, empty space?

Have you forgotten what gave YOU a blank look on your face back in the day? Really there's only one room in a young male's brain, plus a few cabinets with supporting functions.

 

Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy.

man.... it took me a long time to get that one.... hey, english I can read... but in my head I need to translate some stuff and then figure things out... And then I finally thought about it in a phonetic way... next thing I know is my wife asking me why I woke up in the middle of the night laughing like an idiot...

Good one *thumbs up*

 

Have you forgotten what gave YOU a blank look on your face back in the day? Really there's only one room in a young male's brain, plus a few cabinets with supporting functions.

Well, yeah... but it didn't originate in my brain!

 

Well, yeah... but it didn't originate in my brain!

We never said there was a brain up there. We are talking about teenagers after all!

 

man.... it took me a long time to get that one.... hey, english I can read... but in my head I need to translate some stuff and then figure things out... And then I finally thought about it in a phonetic way... next thing I know is my wife asking me why I woke up in the middle of the night laughing like an idiot...

Good one *thumbs up*

@cmartinez, if you ever travel to South Florida, let me know. I'd like to meet you.

 

Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like
a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's
a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
she said:

'Good trade.....'

 

 

next thing I know is my wife asking me why I woke up in the middle of the night laughing like an idiot...

Would you have felt better if she didn't ask you why you were laughing like an idiot? In other words, a common behavior of yours.