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wow... what an original and revolutionary idea
... I like it, I think I'll stick to it as my new year's resolution... The Jokes thread
- Thread starter R!f@@
- Start date
... I like it, I think I'll stick to it as my new year's resolution... 
djsfantasi
- Joined Apr 11, 2010
- 9,237
On-topic postings? I'd wax poetic about how great the idea is, except I am violating it now.
Is there a joke in this?
Yes, don't you get it?
A man is shopping for a camel at Abdul's Camel Emporium. He and Abdul are discussing the merits of a particularly fine bull camel when he realizes he's running a bit late.
'Excuse me, Abdul. Do you know what time it its?'
Standing behind the animal, Abdul takes its large scrotum in hand, peers intently and says 'It is half past twelve, my friend.'
Amazed, the man says 'What did you do?'
'You asked the time and I told you the time.'
'No. But how... Do that again, what is the time now??'
Abdul again grasps the dangling scrotum, peers intently and says "It is now 12:32, my friend."
'How did you do that?', the man demands, 'I must know your secret.'
'It is nothing, my friend.. I only..."
'Ha! Nothing? I must know how you do it. I will give you 25 dollars if you tell me.'
'But.. it really...'
'50 dollars.. now! I must know!'
'Surely sir, I am telling you it is nothing. It is just something I know to do.. Now if you would like to see some more animals...'
'100 American dollars! I demand you take it and show me your secret.' He stuffs the bills into Abdul's hand...
Sighing, Abdul relents. 'As you wish. Come here to the back of the camel. See? How I take the animal's balls into my hand ever so gently so as not to startle him?'
'Yes.'
'And then I very carefully move them so - to the side like this?'
'Yes yes, I see!' very excited.
'Well, now you can see, as I do, the clock in the tower across the street. The time is 12:35'.
Happy New Year!
'Excuse me, Abdul. Do you know what time it its?'
Standing behind the animal, Abdul takes its large scrotum in hand, peers intently and says 'It is half past twelve, my friend.'
Amazed, the man says 'What did you do?'
'You asked the time and I told you the time.'
'No. But how... Do that again, what is the time now??'
Abdul again grasps the dangling scrotum, peers intently and says "It is now 12:32, my friend."
'How did you do that?', the man demands, 'I must know your secret.'
'It is nothing, my friend.. I only..."
'Ha! Nothing? I must know how you do it. I will give you 25 dollars if you tell me.'
'But.. it really...'
'50 dollars.. now! I must know!'
'Surely sir, I am telling you it is nothing. It is just something I know to do.. Now if you would like to see some more animals...'
'100 American dollars! I demand you take it and show me your secret.' He stuffs the bills into Abdul's hand...
Sighing, Abdul relents. 'As you wish. Come here to the back of the camel. See? How I take the animal's balls into my hand ever so gently so as not to startle him?'
'Yes.'
'And then I very carefully move them so - to the side like this?'
'Yes yes, I see!' very excited.
'Well, now you can see, as I do, the clock in the tower across the street. The time is 12:35'.
Happy New Year!
Booo, Hisss.
Booo, Hisss.
You should be on a stage...
Good thing you're in Texas - they should be easier to find there...
Veal? Nah Chicken fried steak is the main staple.
It looks more like a building foundation than a granite Quarry. The stone is more crumbly than granite.
The silvery/gray mud and the tan/yellow crumbly stone makes me guess this is limestone and shale.
https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Limestone_on_shale.jpg
Great, now you've made me hungry... and it's not even 10 a.m. yet!Veal? Nah Chicken fried steak is the main staple.
So, it' between Breakfast and lunch, time for Sunday Brunch. Eat up my friend!
Aaarggghhhh!
Stay away from me, you evil source of temptation! How am I supposed to shed the pounds I gained this season?
It would have been funny if it really happened on a real TV news program instead of on a meme template.
Work until you're too sore to care about food. I reduced my waist by two belt notches since I started refurbishing the used car. The scale says I didn't lose a pound, but converting fat to muscle is a good way to kick-start the process.How am I supposed to shed the pounds I gained this season?
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