An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.
The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." the mother replied "Put them between your legs.
Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs.
The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother,
"Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make an awful mess when they defrost, don't they?"

 

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.
The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." the mother replied "Put them between your legs.
Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs.
The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother,
"Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make an awful mess when they defrost, don't they?"

​

 

 

​

 

For those of us over 70 - this is a great exercise regimen - for you young'uns out there (under 70), just keep it in mind until you reach that magic 70 number!

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room on each side. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides. Hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags, and then eventually, try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm currently at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

 

For English speakers
A man hired by John Smith and Co.
Loudly declared he would tho.
Man that he saw
Dumping dirt near his store,
The drivers, therefore, didn't do.

 

For English speakers
A man hired by John Smith and Co.
Loudly declared he would tho.
Man that he saw
Dumping dirt near his store,
The drivers, therefore, didn't do.

?

 

?

I speak two languages, and I didn't get it either.

 

?

I speak two languages, and I didn't get it either.

I'm with these guys.

 

For English speakers
A man hired by John Smith and Co.
Loudly declared he would tho.
Man that he saw
Dumping dirt near his store,
The drivers, therefore, didn't do.

??

 

Prose aside, it appears to be a testimony in court or a deposition on witnessing the innocence of the drivers from the dastardly deed of dumping dirt near a store.

 

Spoiler: If you still haven't got it ....

Co is an abbreviation .

 

For English speakers
A man hired by John Smith and Co.
Loudly declared he would tho.
Man that he saw
Dumping dirt near his store,
The drivers, therefore, didn't do.

 

Spoiler: If you still haven't got it ....

Co is an abbreviation .

Ahhh.

Not a joke per se, just an amusing play on words.

 

Spoiler: If you still haven't got it ....

Co is an abbreviation .

I'm gunna say it again...
... And, since there is no 'joke', I don't think you're going to spoil anything at this point - (but, then again, I think I can live without knowing at this point)

?

 

I'm gunna say it again...
... And, since there is no 'joke', I don't think you're going to spoil anything at this point - (but, then again, I think I can live without knowing at this point)

?

Life's too short...

 

I finally got it, and now I don't care.

 

If anyone cares, it was written by Mark Twain.

 

I'm gunna say it again...
... And, since there is no 'joke', I don't think you're going to spoil anything at this point - (but, then again, I think I can live without knowing at this point)

?

Click on the spoiler button to see the answer (or at least a hint).

 

I don't think you're going to spoil anything at this point - (but, then again, I think I can live without knowing at this point)?

and the point is....

missing....

edit: complimentary 'making a point joke added

---

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"

He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"