The Jokes thread

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
9,744
I once called my boss and told him I couldn't come to work. He asked why. I told him I had to go to court on stalking charges because my former boss complained I was missing too much work.

I once called my boss and told him I couldn't come to work. He asked why. I told him it was because I was cleaning my rifle's. But if he really insisted - I could come in. He said "Have a nice day off."
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
9,744
You DO know I'm "True Color Perception" handicapped. Light green and light yellow are impossible for me to tell apart. Red & green can be difficult for me. Blue and purple are close to impossible. IF I can see "Red" in the "Blue" then I know it's "Purple".

Long story short - I can't tell for sure if any of those colors are there. The red looks close to what may be orange on the upper right. Blue, if that's what it is, on the chart looks more like Magenta. The green and yellow, there's enough of one of those colors I can see them, look barely any difference. The chart looks green to me.
 

WBahn

Joined Mar 31, 2012
32,883
You DO know I'm "True Color Perception" handicapped. Light green and light yellow are impossible for me to tell apart. Red & green can be difficult for me. Blue and purple are close to impossible. IF I can see "Red" in the "Blue" then I know it's "Purple".

Long story short - I can't tell for sure if any of those colors are there. The red looks close to what may be orange on the upper right. Blue, if that's what it is, on the chart looks more like Magenta. The green and yellow, there's enough of one of those colors I can see them, look barely any difference. The chart looks green to me.
The joke is that none of the colors in the legend are in the chart at all.
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
9,744
I have a game on my other computer where you match colored balls to one you shoot. There are light green and light yellow that absolutely look the same to me. In order to play that game I have to connect to a monitor where I can change the color saturation to 100% in order to barely see the difference. What I would call yellow my wife insists it's green. THEN there's this white ball. Well, it looks white to me. She says that's also green. Makes me think of all the times I've looked at a traffic light and saw the "Green" light looking the same as the street lights. Practically white, though not truly white. The FUNNY thing is that I made a living in electronics inspection. Resistor color code, though I know it well, to tell if a resistor was a proper value I had to use a LOT of light and PLENTY of magnification. If there's enough of the color I can tell. And that ain't no joke.
 

Lo_volt

Joined Apr 3, 2014
370
I have a game on my other computer where you match colored balls to one you shoot. There are light green and light yellow that absolutely look the same to me. In order to play that game I have to connect to a monitor where I can change the color saturation to 100% in order to barely see the difference. What I would call yellow my wife insists it's green. THEN there's this white ball. Well, it looks white to me. She says that's also green. Makes me think of all the times I've looked at a traffic light and saw the "Green" light looking the same as the street lights. Practically white, though not truly white. The FUNNY thing is that I made a living in electronics inspection. Resistor color code, though I know it well, to tell if a resistor was a proper value I had to use a LOT of light and PLENTY of magnification. If there's enough of the color I can tell. And that ain't no joke.
I have a former coworker who is colorblind as well. He studied physics to become a spectrometry expert. Interestingly enough, he founded a company making a spectrophotometer and there were at least 4 other employees there with varying degrees of colorblindness. It certainly wasn't a requirement for employment there but that was a weird coincidence.
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
9,744
I have a former coworker who is colorblind as well. He studied physics to become a spectrometry expert. Interestingly enough, he founded a company making a spectrophotometer and there were at least 4 other employees there with varying degrees of colorblindness. It certainly wasn't a requirement for employment there but that was a weird coincidence.
This morning I'm on the computer with the hyper color monitor. NOW I can see the difference.
 

djsfantasi

Joined Apr 11, 2010
9,237
There are light green and light yellow that absolutely look the same to me. In order to play that game I have to connect to a monitor where I can change the color saturation to 100% in order to barely see the difference. What I would call yellow my wife insists it's green.
I suspect my fiancée has the same issue. She’ll tell me to get the green something but I don’t see anything green. It always turns out she means the yellow something. We have similar issues with red.
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
9,744
I have a slightly different problem. My wife sent me to the store to get a loaf of bread. She said "If they have avocado's get three." When I came home with three loaves of bread she asked why I got three loaves. Told her "They had avocado's."
 

BobTPH

Joined Jun 5, 2013
11,533
I loved that song, and so did my ex. When I told her that I interpreted it as he cuts the line and commits suicide, she no longer liked it.
 
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