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I've been married most of a half century.

And it feels just like five minutes under water.

 

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I've been studying Martial Arts for a total of 19-1/2 years and counting. I'm doing an excellent job of proving I'm not 20 anymore. And I can hurt myself severely if I have to.

One style I study is Jui Jitsu. We're taught that if your opponent gets you in a triangle, arm lock, muscle lock, or any number of other painful things to do to the human body, we are to tap on our opponent who then knows to stop. While grappling the other day my opponent made a great move and I quickly realized it was not in my favor. So I tapped. "Tap early, tap often" is my motto. But nothing stopped - he kept it up. I tapped again. Still nothing. He just wouldn't stop. Then I realized that wasn't his knee in the white gi pants that I was tapping, I was tapping on my own knee. When you're in pain all knees in white pants look alike.

To make matters even more interesting, our loving daughter insists I pay her $5 for every bone I break. She can buy herself a really nice dinner or two. And I don't mean at a drivethru. Drat. And $2.50 for every black eye that flies my way. I came home from the gym one night with a monster black eye. I zigged when I shoulda zagged and blocked. My wife, a Nurse, walks right by me and says "I don't want to know" and kept going by me. I got more sympathy in the gym!

Having an Electrical Engineer and a Surgical Nurse, two strong-willed, strong-headed people, marry is proof God has a sense of humor!

 

My previous house was located right behind a tee box at a local course. I figured that would be safe. Wrong. We got balls into our yard constantly. Even worse we got about three drivers into our yard. On one memorable occasion the player came to the door to ask for his club back. My wife picked it up and flung it over our house and down the hill to the next street over. She got a good laugh out of that.

 

A coworker lived on a golf course and one day his wife heard someone screaming and looked out the window. A golfer was cursing up a storm and throwing his clubs into the water hazard. He then unbuckled his golf bag from the back of the cart and threw it in as well and got back in his cart and sped off. About an hour later she sees him and another cart come back to the water hazard and the guy gets out and wades into the pond while his buddies stand around jibing him and pointing out possible places where his bag might be and laughing it up. Apparently, his car keys were in his golf bag.

 

 

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