The Jokes thread

MrAl

Joined Jun 17, 2014
13,720
If everyone drives twice the speed limit, it takes half the time to get home and there will be half the number of cars in the road at any given time compared to the case where everyone drives the speed limit. Just a thought. One way to maximize use of a minimal infrastructure.
Yeah and boosts the economy by keeping the funeral homes busy :)
 

MrSalts

Joined Apr 2, 2020
2,767
Yeah and boosts the economy by keeping the funeral homes busy :)
Temporarily boost - at least in that industry.
Also note how your prediction will allow the average traffic speed to go down slightly after each accident to maintain the targeted traffic density.
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
9,744
Only if we're allowed to shoot the women in the left lane driving half the speed limit.
The drivers that I hate the most are (one of two) what I call 60/40 drivers. One moment they're going 60, the next they're going 40. And yes, often in the fast lane. The second thing I hate on the road (freeway particularly) is when you have the cruise control set and you're anticipating passing the car in the next lane over (to the right) and then when you're past them you intend to change lanes either for an exit or to get out of the way of faster drivers. Thing I hate the most in this scenario is what I call "Mental Cruise Control". As you pass someone they unknowingly speed up. Bugs the crap out of me. And this also relates to the 60/40 driver; if there's no one for them to match their speed off of they will be one minute going literally 90 MPH and the next minute they can be down as low as 45 MPH. How do I know? No offense intended toward my wife, but she's a 60/40 driver. She's done that.
Left lane slow drivers == women. At least here in S. Florida.
Been in FLA. Seems every lane is a "left" lane. Only, often I've seen little old men wearing a Fedora hat putting along at a whopping 25 MPH in a 45 zone.
 

nsaspook

Joined Aug 27, 2009
16,340
The drivers that I hate the most are (one of two) what I call 60/40 drivers. One moment they're going 60, the next they're going 40. And yes, often in the fast lane. The second thing I hate on the road (freeway particularly) is when you have the cruise control set and you're anticipating passing the car in the next lane over (to the right) and then when you're past them you intend to change lanes either for an exit or to get out of the way of faster drivers. Thing I hate the most in this scenario is what I call "Mental Cruise Control". As you pass someone they unknowingly speed up. Bugs the crap out of me. And this also relates to the 60/40 driver; if there's no one for them to match their speed off of they will be one minute going literally 90 MPH and the next minute they can be down as low as 45 MPH. How do I know? No offense intended toward my wife, but she's a 60/40 driver. She's done that.
Been in FLA. Seems every lane is a "left" lane. Only, often I've seen little old men wearing a Fedora hat putting along at a whopping 25 MPH in a 45 zone.
We called the old ladies Q-tips in 1970's Florida because all you could see was the white hair on the head slightly above the steering wheel and most wore white shoes
1664648243204.png
 

nsaspook

Joined Aug 27, 2009
16,340
Last edited:

MrSalts

Joined Apr 2, 2020
2,767
What happens when you tell the truth (from a movie line) today as a joke.

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/29/app...after-making-jokes-in-viral-tiktok-video.html

“Lighten up, Francis.”
Moral to the story, don't expect strangers making $20/hr to keep tasteless, sexist quotes of movie lines to themselves - especially when they know it will likely take down a guy driving a $500k car. And don't expect a 35-year-old VP of HR to undo a firing once they learn the line is from a 40-year-old movie.
 
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