Two balls in one hit:

 

Seen that one coming a mile away.

 

Kind friends:

This is to offer my sincere apologies for the (as it turns out) poor timing and, hence, very poor taste, of my post to this thread last evenining (said post now hopefully deleted)...

Not having thoroughly read the last few months activity here, I 'missed' the fact that some of you are struggling with tragic health issues... -- Please know that my post was inspired by nothing more than my often puerile penchant for 'plays on words', etc. and with no relationship to or, indeed, cognizance of, any content on these fora...

Please accept my assurance that had I attended the the forum prior to posting, said post would not have been made!

Please take care

Most Sincerely
HP

 

Kind friends:

This is to offer my sincere apologies for the (as it turns out) poor timing and, hence, very poor taste, of my post to this thread last evenining (said post now hopefully deleted)...

Not having thoroughly read the last few months activity here, I 'missed' the fact that some of you are struggling with tragic health issues... -- Please know that my post was inspired by nothing more than my often puerile penchant for 'plays on words', etc. and was in no way related to any content here...

Please accept my assurance that had I attended the the forum prior to posting, said post would not have been made!

Please take care

Most Sincerely
HP

I'm sure a lot of people (me included) did not interpret your post the way you think. God forbid we lose our sense of humor during hard times such as these. In fact, I consider humor to be most important when facing tragic events.

​

 

Kind friends:

This is to offer my sincere apologies for the (as it turns out) poor timing and, hence, very poor taste, of my post to this thread last evenining (said post now hopefully deleted)...

Not having thoroughly read the last few months activity here, I 'missed' the fact that some of you are struggling with tragic health issues... -- Please know that my post was inspired by nothing more than my often puerile penchant for 'plays on words', etc. and with no relationship to or, indeed, cognizance of, any content on these fora...

Please accept my assurance that had I attended the the forum prior to posting, said post would not have been made!

Please take care

Most Sincerely
HP

I didn't even understand your post (par for the course), much less be offended by it.

HP: Life is for the living. Don't apologize.

 

 

 

Dang, I haven't seen Heloise in the papers in years...

 

IEC coffee shop cup.

 

I'm learning French. I could not find the word oolala in any dictionary.

 

It's a Cajun dish made with shrimp and eggplant...

 

Can't post in the Covid19 thread, so this might be the best place anyway.

 

​

 

The Bagpiper

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, he played many gigs. Recently he was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. The man had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia backcountry.

As he was not familiar with the backwoods, he got lost and, being a typical man, didn't stop for directions.

He finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There was only the gravedigger's crew left and they were eating lunch. He felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

He went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. He didn't know what else to do, so he started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. He played out his heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. He played as he'd never played before for this homeless man.

And as he played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, he wept, they all wept together. When he finished, he packed up his bagpipes and started for his car. Though his head was hung low, his heart was full.

As he opened the door to his car, he heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

 

I didnt really want to post this in the music thread...

 

Mike Smith who plays Bubbles on the Trailer Park Boys was actually quite a talented musician.

 

​

 

 

A year to remember
.

 

There is an old bikie sitting on a bench at Bondi - he's been through the mill - battered leathers, battered bike, battered man - but underneath both man and bike are sterling stuff and the bike is mechanically perfect.

The bikie is reviewing his life and as he sits he starts talking to god. "I've done bad stuff and I'm sorry - I'll try to be better." "But just this once I'd like to see some response from you - so that I know that you're really there."

A face appears in a cloud overhead and a voice is heard.

"I can see that you're contrite - and I respect your humility - in fact I'm so pleased that I will grant you a wish. "What is it that you really want?"

(This is much more than the geni's traditional offer - it is a test - god is out to see what the bikies real priorities are.)

The bikie is gobsmached and thinks for a minute. "Thanks so much - I wasn't looking to get anything." I suppose though that given the chance - I should think of something." "I know, I've always wanted to ride the bike in New Zealand, could you build a bridge to get me to New Zealand?"

Now it's god who is gobsmacked. "Do you have any idea how difficult that would be - the cost of the materials and the hindrance such a bridge would be to shipping?" "Can you think of anything else to ask for - something a bit more justifiable?"

The bike thinks for a while and then he's got it. "Could you explain women to me?"

Suddenly there is a bit of a cast to god's eye and with no more ado he says: "Will that bridge be two lanes or four?"