Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.'"

 

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.'"

I think that was the two that tried emigrating to Canada, arriving at the airport and getting settled in, the next day they made thier way to the nearest job centre, and studied the job postings on the bulletin board and one say's to the other would you look at that Patrick, they need tree fellers in Alberta, to which Paddy replied ' yeah, it's too bad there's only two of us!
Max.

 

Can't remember if it's a repeat, but here it goes anyway:

​

 

oh dear....

how many frogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1 frog, 37 light bulbs (slippy hands ya know...)

---

why did the frog read sherlock holmes novels?

he liked a good croak and dagger

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A scientist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog jumped across the room.

The scientist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs - jumped eight feet."

Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.

After measuring the distance, the scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs - jumped three feet."

Next, the scientist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog just lay there.

"Jump, frog, jump!" the scientist repeated.

Nothing.

The scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing"

 

Students at the University of Cape Town in South Africa think science as it is currently understood must be abolished.
Their hashtag is #ScienceMustFall.

That's the whole joke.

https://reason.com/blog/2016/10/14/watch-leftist-students-say-science-is-ra

 

Students at the University of Cape Town in South Africa think science as it is currently understood must be abolished.
Their hashtag is #ScienceMustFall.

That's the whole joke.

https://reason.com/blog/2016/10/14/watch-leftist-students-say-science-is-ra

I want some of what she (Black Magic Woman) is smoking. She's a Jedi with a Bachelor of Decolonised Science (BDSc)

 

 

OK, here is a great very topical joke!!!!!!! I love it because I am in lighting.
How many Trumps does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
The Mexicans do it!

 

I thought you said "tropical" joke...

 

Probably not Israel. ...is Iowa a country?

You gotta worry when a sign in a restaurant says, 'The water in this establishment has been passed by the management".
Max.

 

OK, here is a great very topical joke!!!!!!! I love it because I am in lighting.
How many Trumps does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
The Mexicans do it!

This doesn't make any sense. The Mexicans already do it. He claims that he will return the light bulb changing jobs to American workers.

 

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little punk, O'Conner," says Sean, "he couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

”Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

 

"Run over by a train" was a really bad description. I was expecting to hear about missing limbs rather than bruises and a sling. The joke teller has obviously not seen a "run over by a train" incident.

 

My father was a farmer during hard times. He told me that when they made pork sausage they used everything from the pig but the squeal and the curl in the tail.

He also had a recipe for what he claimed was hasenpfeffer stew. I don't remember the details but it went something like this:
First get one horse and one rabbit...

 

My Grandparents considered Chitlins a delicacy, they used to buy them in the UNCLEANED state.
I usually ate over at a friends when they were on the menu.
Max.

 

My Grandparents considered Chitlins a delicacy, they used to buy them in the UNCLEANED state.
I usually ate over at a friends when they were on the menu.
Max.

My grandfather had to tell me several times that that dish was NOT spelled "shitlins". I was not a fan either.

 

​

 

Pin a medal on that kid!

 

View attachment 113978​

Which one is not like the others?

 

View attachment 113978​

I think three of these kids got help from their parents.