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Exactly right @joeyd999
!GopherT it's an even more awesome deal when you think on the FrOH! Or not if it's insufficiently moderated or poorly shielded
!The Jokes thread
- Thread starter R!f@@
- Start date
!GopherT it's an even more awesome deal when you think on the FrOH! Or not if it's insufficiently moderated or poorly shielded
!
Well, I neglected the FrOH and assumed it was worthless since you will lose 99.9% of what is left every 4 hours.Exactly right @joeyd999
GopherT it's an even more awesome deal when you think on the FrOH! Or not if it's insufficiently moderated or poorly shielded
EDIT:
Here you can find how much of your modicum has vanished since the purchase...
I'll give the benefit starting with about a mole (quarter pound). It looks like your last atom will be gone sometime between 11 and midnight eastern time.
On top of your "good deal" you may have attorney's fees, fines and other unless you are already or willing to invest in all NRC requirements for handling, storing, reporting, securing, reporting use of, reporting ultimate disposal of, the FrOH. There is also EPA, state requirements and, if handled in a workplace, OSHA. Also, exposure monitoring systems, records retention, ...
and more...
and more...
Are you still sure this was a good deal? To have a half-pound of FrOH decomposition products.
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Yeah, we need more laws and regulations.
At least he won't live long enough to be prosecuted.
GopherT there's no wet blanket like a pedant
Even if the sample was carefully shielded and moderated I doubt he'd be convicted cuz the evidence would be gone and the Francium's daughters would be disqualified as partial witnesses
MaxHeadRoom
- Joined Jul 18, 2013
- 30,661
Verry Interstink.
Max.
Hypatia's Protege
- Joined Mar 1, 2015
- 3,228
That's as may be - howbeit, given the general public's abject dearth of anything vaguely reminiscent of a 'sense of humor', it's certain your granddaddy's grandson is erring perilously close to the 'political third rail'
Best regards
HP
Last edited:
Hypatia's Protege
- Joined Mar 1, 2015
- 3,228
For those of my generation who do not and cannot comprehend why Facebook exists, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook applying the same principles.
Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I've eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I've done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.
And it works just like Facebook.
I already have four people following me - two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.
Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I've eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I've done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.
And it works just like Facebook.
I already have four people following me - two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.
The important info here, would be learning how many people have unfriended you, or have stopped following you ...
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
-----------
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I just wet my pants.'
-----------
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
-----------
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
-----------
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
-----------
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
-----------
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
-----------
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'
-----------
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
-----------
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
-----------
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I just wet my pants.'
-----------
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
-----------
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
-----------
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
-----------
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
-----------
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
-----------
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'
-----------
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
-----------
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
For your neighbor's sake, I do hope your aim is flawless!
Errrrrrr.... because you can't stay awake all night?
djsfantasi
- Joined Apr 11, 2010
- 9,237
My daughter accused me of the classic Dad joke this week. It takes a while to set up for someone NOT from Boston, so be patient.
The Neponset River flows along the southern boundary of Boston. Along its banks lies the Neponset River Park, a collection of fields and jogging/bicycle paths. Not too far from the park is where my daughter lives.
Daughter: Dad, I bought a new bike.
Dad: Cool. Where are you going to ride it?
Daughter: Neponset River...
Dad: Shouldn't you have bought a boat?
The Neponset River flows along the southern boundary of Boston. Along its banks lies the Neponset River Park, a collection of fields and jogging/bicycle paths. Not too far from the park is where my daughter lives.
Daughter: Dad, I bought a new bike.
Dad: Cool. Where are you going to ride it?
Daughter: Neponset River...
Dad: Shouldn't you have bought a boat?
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