I didn't know this was in the job description.

 

 

Go Pats!

Good luck in your 15th straight Superbowl! Amazing!

Bob

 

@Wolframore HEY! WATCH IT! THE MODERATORS MIGHT TAKE OFFENSE AT THE REFERENCE TO FEMALE ANATOMY.

{{{ 180 }}}

 

https://heraldpublicist.com/audubon...ic-feeding-nations-2-9-billion-missing-birds/

https://dynamicecology.wordpress.co...eally-lose-3-billion-birds-what-does-it-mean/

 

Fix Or Rebuild Daily
Found On Road Dead

Any others?

Freeking Obvious Road Debris!

 

I have learned proof positive that proves the earth is round. If the earth was flat cats would have knocked everything off by now.

 

Did you hear about the nurse with the rectal thermometer behind her ear? Some ares hole got her pencil.

 

Mr Smith gets up and goes about his morning routine, drinking his coffee, having his morning constitutional, inserting his laxative suppository, putting his hearing aid in, listening to the news... But he can't hear the news?!?! He had just put new batteries in his hearing aid so he goes to the doctor. The doctor asks what his problem is and he tells him. The doctor says OK let's take a look. The doctor sticks his otoscope in his ear to check it out and says Mr Smith there is a suppository in your ear! Mr Smith says Oh Hell then I know where my hearing aid is.

 

An excellent Shakespeare quote, which I learned just now ... to be used next time one is having an argument with an idiot:

View attachment 165090​

Few years back we were in the park for the Fourth of July. We brought squirt guns to have some fun. Actually they were spray bottles, but you get the picture. After taking a break from the fight I went to the restroom. When I came back my friend was sitting comfortably eating an ice cream bar. I picked up my squire bottle. He said "HEY! I'M UNARMED." To which I said "Dude. This isn't a battle of wits." His wife started laughing and laughing practically the whole day. I don't know which was funnier, the quick quip or his wife's reaction. Priceless for sure.

 

My favorite SR-71 story told by the guy who was flying it that day. Everyone from the Cessna to a Navy F-18 gets pwned.

Johnny - that one deserves a SUPER STAR LIKE!

 

View attachment 174521​

My son said something similar - I didn't ask to be born. So I told him "Then why did you swim so hard to be the first to the egg?"

He stood in dumb silence.

 

​

 

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

Spoiler

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

 

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

Spoiler

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

​

 

Moderators - please add this as a click on button. It's priceless.

 

Moderators - please add this as a click on button. It's priceless.

For everything else, there's Mister Card.

 

 

@Sinus23 Wish I had a dad like that.