The Jokes thread

Berzerker

Joined Jul 29, 2018
621
Tonyr1084 said:
Sometimes I wish there was a button on my computer screen so I could turn up the intelligence. I found one marked brightness - but it don't work!
But then there's the flip side of that ? people who are smart but have no social skills.
Brzrkr
 

djsfantasi

Joined Apr 11, 2010
9,156
Coming through Logan International Airport this afternoon, I came across this sign at a lounge in the concourse.

9D9C5BB2-ADDD-497D-A928-C054DB319496.jpeg

So, I followed the arrow to the left, whereupon I came to this sign:

4BF72A3D-9D63-4820-88BD-C45FC6763A04.jpeg

:confused:

Later, while waiting for my ride, I saw this sign:

A1CCBAA1-283F-44B2-AEE6-649D03301DBE.jpeg

They are really making things difficult for people still addicted to nicotine! :mad:
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
7,852
Roy Rogers had been wanting a pair of snake skin boots for a long time. After saving and saving and saving for a very long time he finally had the money to buy his boots. One afternoon while out on the range it began to rain, and rain heavily. Roy and Trigger headed for the barn, and by the time they got back the fields were a muddy mess. Roy, in his new snake skin boots marched through the mud up to the house. “STOP RIGHT THERE MISTER!” Dale Evans said. “YOU’RE NOT COMING IN WITH THOSE MUDDY BOOTS!” So Roy took his boots off and left them on the porch.

That night a mountain lion was skulking around and happened upon the boots. It proceeded to rip them to shreds, leaving pieces all over the once muddy landscape. In the morning Roy came out to find his beloved boots all over the place. Angry, he went and got his rifle, saddled Trigger and off they rode looking for the cat. After some hours out Dale saw him returning with the cat slung over the back of the horse. Dale said: “Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?”
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
7,852
"Pardon me boy" - - - That sure wouldn't fly these days. "Or you could give me a shine." Geez, I hope this doesn't get deleted for being racist.

And y'all showin' your age.
 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
7,852
What has six wheels and sleeps four?




A DOT Crew Truck.


Have you heard? DOT crews are getting nervous about their jobs. Someone has invented a shovel that stands on its own.
 

SamR

Joined Mar 19, 2019
5,031
I was sitting on the front porch one day and I see this DOT pickup truck coming down the shoulder of the road. It would move about 20' and stop. After a couple of minutes, the driver got out and grabbed a shovel out of the bed and dig a hole behind the truck just a bit off the road. I figured he was placing a roadsign and after he gets down a bit he walks back to the truck, throws the shovel in the bed and gets back in. He sits there for a while so I thought maybe he was taking a smoke or coffee break. After a few minutes, another guy gets out on the passenger side and grabs a shovel out of the back. He walks over to the hole and starts throwing the dirt back into it and packs it down. Then he walks back to the truck, throws the shovel in the back and gets back in the truck. I'm scratching my head and asking myself just what in the hell is going on here. They sit there for a while and then pull up another 20' or so and just sit there. The driver gets back out and the entire process gets repeated. When they have done this several times and are now in front of my house I walk down to the road to see just what is going on. The driver gets out and I say hello and we exchange a few pleasantries and then I asked just what was going on? He tells me it's a new rural road beautification project and they are planting trees. Now I know I never saw any trees so I asked him where are the trees. He gets a grin like a mule eating briars on his face and tells me the guy responsible for putting the trees in the holes called in sick that day.
 

SamR

Joined Mar 19, 2019
5,031
No longer is just the Confederate Stars and Bars battle flag racist, now so is the US flag since the founding fathers owned slaves.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
killivolt Off-Topic 10
KL7AJ Off-Topic 1
Sparky49 Feedback and Suggestions 4
electronis whiz Off-Topic 2
electronis whiz Off-Topic 1
Top