I have gotten 5 or 6 calls that start like this one within just the last week!!!!! I

For the Guy that phones me regularly every couple of weeks or so, we are on a first name basis.
He has a strong East Indian accent and his name is Bill Thompson. He has invited me to visit him, he has a penthouse in towntown Islamabad.
BTW he sent me a picture

Max.

 

When you feel stupid, remember there are people out there looking for Pokemons.

Rastafarian proctologists?

 

That's very strange... are you sure they weren't some sort of scammers, trying to see how far they could get with you?

Sorry for the confusion. Yes, this is a scam.

The Window-r key key press gets you to the "Run Program" window. They then tell you to enter something that gives them remote access to your computer. If you are naive enough to do that you are -- as they say -- toast. (How does that translate?)

The caller often claims that they are from Microsoft. The one I got today said that I had purchased a support service and asked if I remembered that. When I said that I didn't remember it the caller immediately hung up. I guess he thought I was not gullible enough to waste his time on me.

 

Sorry for the confusion. Yes, this is a scam.

The Window-r key key press gets you to the "Run Program" window. They then tell you to enter something that gives them remote access to your computer. If you are naive enough to do that you are -- as they say -- toast. (How does that translate?)

The caller often claims that they are from Microsoft. The one I got today said that I had purchased a support service and asked if I remembered that. When I said that I didn't remember it the caller immediately hung up. I guess he thought I was not gullible enough to waste his time on me.

It's good to know that that sort of thing is going on. This is the first time I've heard of it. Of course, I doubt that I could've fallen for it, but now I'm going to warn my wife and friends who are not so tech-savvy... thanks for the heads up.

 

I just tell these clowns I'm a Mac user. They have no script for that, apparently, and will press on telling me to press my "windows" key. Hilarious.

 

It's good to know that that sort of thing is going on. This is the first time I've heard of it. Of course, I doubt that I could've fallen for it, but now I'm going to warn my wife and friends who are not so tech-savvy... thanks for the heads up.

It's a regular thing here, The guy told me he was from Microsoft Canada and I was spreading a virus from my version of windows, and he would cure it, I had to log on to a site and there they ask for a fee to eliminate it.
I asked his name and Microsoft tel number and I would call him back, that was the name he gave me and a number in Montreal, I looked it up and it was the next name that came up alphabetically from mine.!
I do a pretty good East Indian accent and once I played him for a while and then hung up when I tired of it, he called me back and wanted to know why I hung up on him.

Another is a rerecorded message to press 1 to lower my credit card interest, I went along once just for the hell of it, you would not believe the process they go through to try and obtain your card number.
The latest one here is a call supposedly from the income tax dept saying that you owe a couple of grand and if they do not receive it by the close of business today, some one will arrive to arrest you.
Max.

 

This is the first time I've heard of it.

You are so far behind! The first time a scammer phoned me, I had Windows 3 point something.
He was demanding payment for using Windows in a business...the fake business name I used to get better prices.
Before I got done with him, I was negotiating the price he should pay me for leasing him the use of my phone number.

 

I get these calls all the time. I go along, but as a very computer illiterate person. At each step, I would "make" a stupid mistake and he would have to start all over again. When I tire of this cat-and-mouse game, I ask where he got my number. After listening to his lame story, I inform him that I am an agent with US Homeland Security and we have traced him and have complete control of his computer! The reactions are priceless if the person doesn't immediately hang up the phone.

 

​

 

Apologies in advance if this had been posted elsewhere already:

 

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.

Cost me 6 stitches...but,

When you're over seventy...............who cares?

**********

I went to the drug store and told clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."

When you're over seventy..............who cares?

***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Cost me a fat lip, but...

When you're over seventy...............who cares?

**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and
said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday." Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...

When you're over seventy...............who cares?

*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you're over seventy...............who cares?

**********

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but...

When you're over seventy...............who cares?

 

​

 

How many people on forum needed to change a light bulb?:
- 1 to change the bulb
- 1 post and announce that the bulb has been changed
- 12 to share similar experiences and present new ways of changing the bulb
- 3 to warn of hazards arising from changing light bulbs
- 20 to correct grammatical errors
- 40 to scoff those who correct grammatical mistakes
- 2 professionals in the field to point out that the correct term is "incandescent lamp"
- 14 claiming to have worked in that field and the term bulb is "equally" correct
- 18 who say that the forum is not about light bulbs and discussion should be moved on a forum about light bulbs
- 35 who argue that as long as all use light bulbs, discussion is useful on forum
- 200 to discuss what are the best ways to change bulbs
- 30 to quote what was posted and respond "and I"
- 6 to "ask" for attention to use "Search"
- 17 to announce that they renounce definitively to write on forum due to disagreement
- 15 posts where two members carries a totally different discussion
- 25 posts where they are reminded to use private messages
-1 moderator who "warn" that if they not stop with unnecessary discussion topic will be close
-a new member who asks after a long time and everything restart

 

some people not been reading this thread..

http://forum.allaboutcircuits.com/threads/the-jokes-thread.60389/page-71#post-915853

 

Did you hear about the two constipated mathematicians?????...................One worked it out with a pencil, the other worked it out in logs!!!

 

a lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear.

husband asks, 'why are you so happy?'

wife says, 'the doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.'

'oh yeah?' quipped the husband, 'what did he say about your forty-five year old ass?'

she said, 'your name never came up in the conversation.'

 

Scientists just determined that Pterodactyl could go to the bathroom more quietly than any other animal. After thinking about it for a while, the reason was obvious...

Spoiler

... the "p" is silent

 

Abbott and Costello were great - but the writers were never really recognized. That type of comedic writing just doesn't happen any more... Until now. This thread can't be real - I think it is some type of comedy writing workshop.

http://forum.allaboutcircuits.com/threads/can-anyone-please-merge-my-two-usernames.129703/

 

Scientists just determined that Pterodactyl could go to the bathroom more quietly than any other animal. After thinking about it for a while, the reason was obvious...

Spoiler

... the "p" is silent

Groan!

 

Abbott and Costello were great - but the writers were never really recognized. That type of comedic writing just doesn't happen any more... Until now. This thread can't be real - I think it is some type of comedy writing workshop.

http://forum.allaboutcircuits.com/threads/can-anyone-please-merge-my-two-usernames.129703/

And engineers wonder why the rest of the world avoids talking to them.