Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble. You really need to measure the temperature of the board to ensure you are even close to a useful preheating. You can just get a cheap thermocouple and use it with a DMM. Your DMM might have a temperature range but it is really just reading mV and displaying the corresponding value. If you don't have such a range you can just follow the datasheet on the thermocouple and convert from mV to °C. The probe should be less than $5.00USD including shipping.
One other thing is the surface. Is there a heavy oxide layer? If so you may have to remove that mechanically before the flux is useful. Very fine sandpaper or a fiberglass spot sanding pen will do the trick. If the copper has a dark red color, you'll need to do something. Be gentle obviously, and you don't need to remove the oxide from any place you don't need solder to wet.
One other thing is the surface. Is there a heavy oxide layer? If so you may have to remove that mechanically before the flux is useful. Very fine sandpaper or a fiberglass spot sanding pen will do the trick. If the copper has a dark red color, you'll need to do something. Be gentle obviously, and you don't need to remove the oxide from any place you don't need solder to wet.