Nothing is holding me back from fets ... in fact I'd better much prefer to use them instead of relays. My question pertains the proper configuration for a circuit to kick in as fast as possible and with as little power draw while idle when battery bank B is connected/removedGood call. That could give you even better data.
Measuring voltage across it could tell you if it had enough voltage to fire and drew enough current to not be an open circuit, but actually measuring current could additionally tell you if it drew enough current to actually actuate (not weak) or drew so much current that something is wrong (shorted coil, plunger failed to move).
I would go with a latching relay but I've been known to favor overly primitive means with little justification. Others have suggested fets and that seems reasonable. Is there something holding you back from using fets? My apologies if this has been answered already, I might have missed it.






