My daughter commented the other day that the dog smelled bad, and that dogs are gross. Well the dog didn't smell that bad, and to his credit, he hadn't been bathed in over a month, and any foul odor he had, was probably from something gross he rolled around in. It got me thinking... if I, a human, maintained the same hygiene habits as I prescribe for my canine companion, how awful would I smell?
If I didn't bathe for 2+ months at a time, if I never brushed my teeth, if I didn't wear deodorant or cologne, if I never wiped my rear end, if I laid on the same pillow every night that never got washed, and if I licked my crotch, how bad would I smell?
Well I've worked with some people overseas from cultures that don't hold such high regard for personal hygiene as Americans, and I can attest that a man who doesn't wear deodorant and hasn't bathed in just one week (but still brushes his teeth and wipes his rear) has a musk more pungent than a litter of ferrets.
So I googled "stinkiest animals" and I get the "top ten" lists containing what I expected: skunks, stink bugs, etc. But shouldn't unwashed humans be up there somewhere? I mean we have everything working against us. Think about it...
Our hairscape is inverse of other animals. They have hairy bodies and bald nether regions. We're bald all over and have "flavor saver" (Or "odor saver") hairy patches on our malodorous areas. Other animals rear ends are designed for clean & efficient evacuation of excrement. We have to push ours out from a deep crevice between 2 hams. Other animals have enzymes in their saliva that kill harmful bacteria. Our mouths are Petri dishes that smell like death if not properly sanitized. Other animals secrete just enough oil to keep their skin hydrated. We weep smelly fluids through our skin faster than we can replenish them. Some animals (like goats, rabbits) poop nice clean pellets. We poop sloppy messes that hang to our butt-staches if not cleaned with soap & water.
If we cleaned ourselves like dogs and cats, by licking our dirty areas, we would probably smell worse than if we didn't clean ourselves at all. Imagine covering your skin with "dragon breath" morning saliva.
So what do you say? Where would you rank unwashed humans on the list of smelliest animals? Top 10? Top 50? Top 100? Lower?
P.s. Imagine how hard it must have been for prehistoric hunters to track down and kill their quarry, smelling like buzzards multiplied by a feed lot.
If I didn't bathe for 2+ months at a time, if I never brushed my teeth, if I didn't wear deodorant or cologne, if I never wiped my rear end, if I laid on the same pillow every night that never got washed, and if I licked my crotch, how bad would I smell?
Well I've worked with some people overseas from cultures that don't hold such high regard for personal hygiene as Americans, and I can attest that a man who doesn't wear deodorant and hasn't bathed in just one week (but still brushes his teeth and wipes his rear) has a musk more pungent than a litter of ferrets.
So I googled "stinkiest animals" and I get the "top ten" lists containing what I expected: skunks, stink bugs, etc. But shouldn't unwashed humans be up there somewhere? I mean we have everything working against us. Think about it...
Our hairscape is inverse of other animals. They have hairy bodies and bald nether regions. We're bald all over and have "flavor saver" (Or "odor saver") hairy patches on our malodorous areas. Other animals rear ends are designed for clean & efficient evacuation of excrement. We have to push ours out from a deep crevice between 2 hams. Other animals have enzymes in their saliva that kill harmful bacteria. Our mouths are Petri dishes that smell like death if not properly sanitized. Other animals secrete just enough oil to keep their skin hydrated. We weep smelly fluids through our skin faster than we can replenish them. Some animals (like goats, rabbits) poop nice clean pellets. We poop sloppy messes that hang to our butt-staches if not cleaned with soap & water.
If we cleaned ourselves like dogs and cats, by licking our dirty areas, we would probably smell worse than if we didn't clean ourselves at all. Imagine covering your skin with "dragon breath" morning saliva.
So what do you say? Where would you rank unwashed humans on the list of smelliest animals? Top 10? Top 50? Top 100? Lower?
P.s. Imagine how hard it must have been for prehistoric hunters to track down and kill their quarry, smelling like buzzards multiplied by a feed lot.