LOL. That's one of the funniest Christmas stories I've heard! A regular Norman Rockwell moment suitable for Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck" routine.

My family is a sometimes-hilarious and sometimes-sad, symphony of dysfunction. My wife's family is equally messed up, but in wildly different ways than mine. Her parents are still together but, well that's all I'll say. It's weird.

Our goal since day #1 has been to raise our kids in the most normal household anyone has ever seen. But that's proving to be a challenge given we can't hide them from our families.

Before Christmas my wife was trying to explain to my 3y/o that 3 grandpas were coming, and which one was which. "They're all daddy's dads. There's the grandpa that's married to grandma, the grandpa that used to be married to grandma, and daddy's real dad, the one with 1.6 arms" (my dad lost his arm below the elbow)

3y/o: "why don't you (to my wife) have 3 dads? Did the other ones die?"

Wife: "no baby, I only ever had one dad."

3y/o: "oh. Well is the grandma with 1.6 arms coming?"

Wife: "you don't have a grandma with 1.6 arms."

 

My family is a sometimes-hilarious and sometimes-sad, symphony of dysfunction. My wife's family is equally messed up, but in wildly different ways than mine. Her parents are still together but, well that's all I'll say. It's weird.

I read somewhere that all healthy families are healthy in the same way and all dysfunctional families are dysfunctional in different ways. I disagree. Being from an unhealthy family, I have studied the mechanics of it and found the patterns. Start with the Karpman Drama Triangle, include the Balancing Theorem, and a few DSM types like the emotional terrorist (histrionic), the chronic victim, the narcissist, a Borderline Personality Disorder...and you can see the wheels turning. The problem with sick families is that the cure is less available because the cure is to, "go no contact" with the sickos. Most dysfunctional people will not change. There is no such thing as waiting long enough for them to figure out why they are miserable, and it's contagious. It is only the rare few who will rebel against the cacophony of a sick family and save their self.

ps, @strantor I have found that people under 10 years old have an emotional response to amputees. Personally, I am so accustomed to it that I have been known to untie the wrong shoe at night. The only annoying thing about it is that, when my foot breaks, it doesn't heal. I have to buy a new one.