Humans smell bad

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
5,752
My daughter commented the other day that the dog smelled bad, and that dogs are gross. Well the dog didn't smell that bad, and to his credit, he hadn't been bathed in over a month, and any foul odor he had, was probably from something gross he rolled around in. It got me thinking... if I, a human, maintained the same hygiene habits as I prescribe for my canine companion, how awful would I smell?

If I didn't bathe for 2+ months at a time, if I never brushed my teeth, if I didn't wear deodorant or cologne, if I never wiped my rear end, if I laid on the same pillow every night that never got washed, and if I licked my crotch, how bad would I smell?

Well I've worked with some people overseas from cultures that don't hold such high regard for personal hygiene as Americans, and I can attest that a man who doesn't wear deodorant and hasn't bathed in just one week (but still brushes his teeth and wipes his rear) has a musk more pungent than a litter of ferrets.

So I googled "stinkiest animals" and I get the "top ten" lists containing what I expected: skunks, stink bugs, etc. But shouldn't unwashed humans be up there somewhere? I mean we have everything working against us. Think about it...

Our hairscape is inverse of other animals. They have hairy bodies and bald nether regions. We're bald all over and have "flavor saver" (Or "odor saver") hairy patches on our malodorous areas. Other animals rear ends are designed for clean & efficient evacuation of excrement. We have to push ours out from a deep crevice between 2 hams. Other animals have enzymes in their saliva that kill harmful bacteria. Our mouths are Petri dishes that smell like death if not properly sanitized. Other animals secrete just enough oil to keep their skin hydrated. We weep smelly fluids through our skin faster than we can replenish them. Some animals (like goats, rabbits) poop nice clean pellets. We poop sloppy messes that hang to our butt-staches if not cleaned with soap & water.

If we cleaned ourselves like dogs and cats, by licking our dirty areas, we would probably smell worse than if we didn't clean ourselves at all. Imagine covering your skin with "dragon breath" morning saliva.

So what do you say? Where would you rank unwashed humans on the list of smelliest animals? Top 10? Top 50? Top 100? Lower?

P.s. Imagine how hard it must have been for prehistoric hunters to track down and kill their quarry, smelling like buzzards multiplied by a feed lot.
 

shortbus

Joined Sep 30, 2009
9,059
As someone interested in history, it hasn't really been that long ago that we didn't bathe so often. Even into the late 1800's early 1900's. And just used 'perfumes' over our unwashed bodies. If you read some real history of even the early days in America, not the stuff found in school books, the early people almost never took a bath, other than when they had to cross a river or got caught in the rain for days. But the so called "savages", the Indians, did it almost daily. Not using soap but sand to wash with.
 

killivolt

Joined Jan 10, 2010
805
So what do you say? Where would you rank unwashed humans on the list of smelliest animals? Top 10? Top 50? Top 100? Lower?
So, first I would have to say, your Threads sometimes make me laugh. :p

Out of all the things that fell from your head this one is just off the chart heh heh heh. :eek:

Humans, what stink level are they? I would say top "20" based on the idea of never washing at all and only to occasionally enter the water to cross while hunting etc.

P.s. Imagine how hard it must have been for prehistoric hunters to track down and kill their quarry, smelling like buzzards multiplied by a feed lot.
They were covered in animal skins which might mask the smell a little but if your always standing near a fire each night would be the strongest scent, but they our ancestors did understand "scent" then adjust methodology by hunting down wind or just sit in a tree or use of traps like pits dug on a game trail hunting was much to do about out witting the pray, because of the animals speed and their ability to smell things in the air which is more like an OlFactory antenna indicating direction and distance of anyone or anything hunting them.

kv
 

joeyd999

Joined Jun 6, 2011
4,477
My daughter commented the other day that the dog smelled bad, and that dogs are gross. Well the dog didn't smell that bad, and to his credit, he hadn't been bathed in over a month, and any foul odor he had, was probably from something gross he rolled around in. It got me thinking... if I, a human, maintained the same hygiene habits as I prescribe for my canine companion, how awful would I smell?

If I didn't bathe for 2+ months at a time, if I never brushed my teeth, if I didn't wear deodorant or cologne, if I never wiped my rear end, if I laid on the same pillow every night that never got washed, and if I licked my crotch, how bad would I smell?

Well I've worked with some people overseas from cultures that don't hold such high regard for personal hygiene as Americans, and I can attest that a man who doesn't wear deodorant and hasn't bathed in just one week (but still brushes his teeth and wipes his rear) has a musk more pungent than a litter of ferrets.

So I googled "stinkiest animals" and I get the "top ten" lists containing what I expected: skunks, stink bugs, etc. But shouldn't unwashed humans be up there somewhere? I mean we have everything working against us. Think about it...

Our hairscape is inverse of other animals. They have hairy bodies and bald nether regions. We're bald all over and have "flavor saver" (Or "odor saver") hairy patches on our malodorous areas. Other animals rear ends are designed for clean & efficient evacuation of excrement. We have to push ours out from a deep crevice between 2 hams. Other animals have enzymes in their saliva that kill harmful bacteria. Our mouths are Petri dishes that smell like death if not properly sanitized. Other animals secrete just enough oil to keep their skin hydrated. We weep smelly fluids through our skin faster than we can replenish them. Some animals (like goats, rabbits) poop nice clean pellets. We poop sloppy messes that hang to our butt-staches if not cleaned with soap & water.

If we cleaned ourselves like dogs and cats, by licking our dirty areas, we would probably smell worse than if we didn't clean ourselves at all. Imagine covering your skin with "dragon breath" morning saliva.

So what do you say? Where would you rank unwashed humans on the list of smelliest animals? Top 10? Top 50? Top 100? Lower?

P.s. Imagine how hard it must have been for prehistoric hunters to track down and kill their quarry, smelling like buzzards multiplied by a feed lot.
I wish this post could be made sticky over all of the internet.
 

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
5,752
I have some thoughts on this topic but, really, is this where your head is on the day after Christmas? :rolleyes:
Well Christmas went over without a hitch. I had my mother and 3 of her husbands or ex-husbands in the same house at the same time and there was no drama. Unlike 2 years ago when my mom and dad (both married, not to each other) got drunk and made out, and my mom tried to send him home to his wife with a huge hickey on his neck. I had to hit him in the neck repeatedly with a stick to turn it into a bruise that didn't look like a hickey.

But yeah this Christmas was good. My Kids loved it. We got our 3y/o daughter a play tool kit and a plastic 18 wheeler full of matchbox cars (among other, more gender-appropriate gifts) . She loved them. She takes to boy toys. She might grow up to be a bull-dyke but I'm OK with that.

My oldest racked up $300 in cash + gift cards, WTF? I think the most I ever got was a $20 check from my grandma that I couldn't cash because I didn't have a bank account.

The middle one, well I think she got what she wanted. Hard to tell, you know, middle child.
 

#12

Joined Nov 30, 2010
18,223
I've had two experiences learning that healthy people can be awesome stinkers, but I live in the U.S. where people usually bathe and brush their teeth. Oh yeah, one Muslim woman in a grocery store. I had to get 12 feet away to avoid smelling her!:eek:

Anyway, almost nobody I've been around smells bad, but it's possible if you work at it.;)

There are certain hospital wards you don't want to know about, but those people stink because they are not healthy.:(
 

Glenn Holland

Joined Dec 26, 2014
705
After reading this thread, I want to run into my bathroom and jump in a long hot shower. :p

By the way, just try riding mass transit with people packed in a crowded bus like sardines and you'll quickly learn the necessity of practicing meticulous personal hygiene. o_O
 

killivolt

Joined Jan 10, 2010
805
Oh yeah, one Muslim woman in a grocery store. I had to get 12 feet away to avoid smelling her!:eek:

There are certain hospital wards you don't want to know about, but those people stink because they are not healthy.:(
I'll have to include people who smoke cigarettes in their car and they offer to give you a lift. I have to roll the window down and stick my head out to keep from getting an asthma attack.

What is it with people from the middle east anyway?

We don't have "Indian" people here but someone told me it's the food they eat that permeates the air and their clothing, foods that can make you stink is a problem. Especially Garlic, even though I really enjoy it, I have to go light or you can smell it on me the next day.

kv
 

Sinus23

Joined Sep 7, 2013
246
I smoke yet I can still smell the new less polluting cars in the morning.

Has anybody complained about the car smell your clothes got even though you shower everyday?

Probably not since that has become the ordinary stink that nobody can smell after 9 am.
 

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
5,752
I smoke in the car but always with the window down, ash out the window, blow the smoke out window, don't keep butts in the car, and never with the A/C on "recirculate." As far as I know, none of my riders can tell I smoke in there.

My wife doesn't like the idea of me smoking in her car but I do it every time I drive it. She has no idea AFAIK. She's never complained about it, and she's not one to hold back a complaint.

I took both of our cars to carmax and a couple of other dealerships last week, and none of the inspectors had anything to say about cigarette smell. I even smoke on the way to the dealerships, I just kept the windows down for the last 10 minutes before I got there.

Not even I, as a smoker, can stand the smell of a car that's treated like an ashtray and hot-boxed 15 times a day with cigarette smoke.
 

killivolt

Joined Jan 10, 2010
805
I smoke in the car but always with the window down, ash out the window, blow the smoke out window, don't keep butts in the car, and never with the A/C on "recirculate." As far as I know, none of my riders can tell I smoke in there.

My wife doesn't like the idea of me smoking in her car but I do it every time I drive it. She has no idea AFAIK. She's never complained about it, and she's not one to hold back a complaint.

I took both of our cars to carmax and a couple of other dealerships last week, and none of the inspectors had anything to say about cigarette smell. I even smoke on the way to the dealerships, I just kept the windows down for the last 10 minutes before I got there.

Not even I, as a smoker, can stand the smell of a car that's treated like an ashtray and hot-boxed 15 times a day with cigarette smoke.
My daughter smoked in my car when she wrecked hers, luckily she's stopped she is 27, at time she was 20 and picked up the habit, all be it neither I or my wife smoke. Once she began dating her now husband an MMA Mexican fighter, his influence helped to encourage her to give it up.

My boss told me I could remove the smell in the car and on her clothes with Vodka, it worked I couldn't believe it. Even Myth Busters took on the challenge it works.

If you ever decide to give it up, at least you can remove the smell and BTW once I did give it up it's really a bad smell to you, if someone smokes in their house or car without taking measures to protect them as @strantor said nothing smells worse other than a smokers CRT TV.

Once in the shop I opened the back of one and dust had accumulated for years all around the tube on the wires dangling it the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life and I've seen some bad stuff.

kv
 

killivolt

Joined Jan 10, 2010
805
???

I'd have been fired from every job I ever had.
Agreed,two places you don't drink or then drive to work, bad bad bad. Thats why I always have a DD, e.g. my wife drove me home Christmas night, but the next day you could smell me 5 feet away, someone might have thought I did.

kv
 

wayneh

Joined Sep 9, 2010
17,160
Unlike 2 years ago when my mom and dad (both married, not to each other) got drunk and made out, and my mom tried to send him home to his wife with a huge hickey on his neck. I had to hit him in the neck repeatedly with a stick to turn it into a bruise that didn't look like a hickey.
LOL. :D That's one of the funniest Christmas stories I've heard! A regular Norman Rockwell moment suitable for Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck" routine.
 

killivolt

Joined Jan 10, 2010
805
strantor said:
Unlike 2 years ago when my mom and dad (both married, not to each other) got drunk and made out, and my mom tried to send him home to his wife with a huge hickey on his neck. I had to hit him in the neck repeatedly with a stick to turn it into a bruise that didn't look like a hickey.


LOL. :D That's one of the funniest Christmas stories I've heard! A regular Norman Rockwell moment suitable for Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck" routine.
Sheesh how'd I miss that :p

kv
 
Top