Hi!
So... I was having some conversations with people I see everyday, and it got more and more obvious that I'm an autist, probably degree 1.
Obviously I'm not diagnosed yet, but I want to seek further into this, I'm already having therapy, so I can put a topic there.
I created this topic to see your responses, because I find that the most similar people (those who are obsessed with electronics, science, math, physics) are here. I have too few college friends and they aren't as obsessed with electronics as I am.
I struggle to have a meaningful conversation with ordinary people (but when I do I'm very happy sometimes).
My parents doesn't share my views about the world or other things. Maybe generational gap in this situation? Can be.
When I was about 6 y.o. I started to walk on the tip of my feet for no reason, I didn't notice until I was going uphill on the side-walk and when I got to the flat part, my shins were hurting because of fatigue. Then I tried to walk normally and it was difficult, it was like I forgot how to walk properly.
I tend to spend my time on my PC, it's like only 1 year that I installed Linux and tried somethings, but Win11 has been horrible, so horrible I have to restart my PC every now and then because it's buggy in many aspects (the game I play the most is very buggy too).
I stick to games I played at least until 2012, so mostly nothing new since then, I'm almost a retro player lol. These games are (in order of most playing time) Champions of Regnum, Old School RuneScape, Dekaron, Tibia. So you see, all MMORPGs.
I seem to not have a filter for jokes, specially through Whatsapp. My jokes are so hard that a lot of people find it offensive/prejudiced. But over the last 3 years or so I got like 95% the empathy I have now. I don't mean to offend, I just go very crazy/bold, trying to have a laugh over the obvious lie I'm saying. The problem is to contain these impulses, but I'm getting better over time. I also say things "no other people say" because of unexpected connections I make, which my mind gives me, I almost make no effort for it.
I think I need to note that I've been listening to a Swedish band called In Flames for over 7 years and it water my eyes and gives me chills every now and then, even after all these years of listening. The point of talking about this band is that this music understands me, not the other way around. I also like to say that engineering chose me, not the other way around, because I never get to choose, I knew it since I was 4 or 5 y.o. At that age I was disassembling remote control cars and other electronic toys to see "how it worked"/"what was inside". I guess I got the traits young. I played with what I understood, that is, wires, switches, continuity, primary batteries (it was late 90s and early 2000s), and micro motors. I drew schematics, and I still have them drawn on my notebooks from school.
Since very young I was always someone that didn't follow the tips/rules blindly, I always wanted to understand why I have to act that way or do something. Obviously that sometimes I got it by myself, I never questioned why I needed to learn something when I saw its use or felt good learning.
I don't have many friendships, but the ones I have are old friendships. I've been in a new city 90 km away from my family since the beginning of 2022 and made 0 friends here. I don't often go outside and when I do, I prefer to not interact much with other people. I try to be kind to people before I even know them, but once I see they don't care the same, I change a bit.
I know this is a lot of information, but something that might be total blablabla can be useful for others to notice something and identify with themselves.
So, thoughts? Can you relate something related to this case?
Edit: fixed typo

 

I don't often go outside and when I do, I prefer to not interact much with other people.

Red flag. I'm an introvert by nature but I get uncomfortable if I don't get outside at least once a day for an hour or more. IMHO, indoor people get squirrelly over time. It's not healthy, and we didn't evolve to live indoors. We need sunlight on our faces and wind in our hair.

Your preference to not interact much with people can probably be sensed by other people. If they might have been inclined to smile, say hi, or make small talk to start a conversation, the vibe you give off turns them away. A potential friendship ended before it started. Reconsider that. In my experience the best people you can meet can be found just a little bit off the beaten path. Like at a National Park, you can go on a trail just one hundred yards from the parking lot and find a completely different sort of people. Try to be that better kind of person. Help someone that needs it, ask questions about the world around you, take the time to soak it in. Be present.

I contend that a necessary condition for happy life is S.E.E.™: Sleep, Eat, Exercise. Make sure that all three are done as well as you can. At least eight hours of good sleep daily, a half hour of aerobic exercise (can be as simple as a ~1-2 mile walk), and a diet biased towards foods without labels and minimal sugar. If you're missing out on sleep - and life - because of screen time, that's a bad habit that needs breaking. (Says the guy typing on his laptop.)

Attention to S.E.E. is both necessary and in large part sufficient. Some sort of professional intervention might help in some cases but I'm not convinced that's anything more than a very few rare cases. Sure, a schizophrenic can have a miraculous recovery when prescribed lithium, but how common is such a thing? Fix the basics first.

Like any skill, interacting comfortably with other people requires experience and practice. Don't avoid opportunities to hone your skills. You'll learn to 'read the room' and avoid the social faux pas. "It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt." You don't have to remain silent, just keep your filters up and think twice.

 

My parents doesn't share my views about the world or other things.

Their views are hard earned.

Yours, so far, are probably strongly influenced by questionable social media.

You should pay attention to your parents. They know things -- and I'd wager they are right.

 

Red flag. I'm an introvert by nature but I get uncomfortable if I don't get outside at least once a day for an hour or more. IMHO, indoor people get squirrelly over time. It's not healthy, and we didn't evolve to live indoors. We need sunlight on our faces and wind in our hair.

Your preference to not interact much with people can probably be sensed by other people. If they might have been inclined to smile, say hi, or make small talk to start a conversation, the vibe you give off turns them away. A potential friendship ended before it started. Reconsider that. In my experience the best people you can meet can be found just a little bit off the beaten path. Like at a National Park, you can go on a trail just one hundred yards from the parking lot and find a completely different sort of people. Try to be that better kind of person. Help someone that needs it, ask questions about the world around you, take the time to soak it in. Be present.

I contend that a necessary condition for happy life is S.E.E.™: Sleep, Eat, Exercise. Make sure that all three are done as well as you can. At least eight hours of good sleep daily, a half hour of aerobic exercise (can be as simple as a ~1-2 mile walk), and a diet biased towards foods without labels and minimal sugar. If you're missing out on sleep - and life - because of screen time, that's a bad habit that needs breaking. (Says the guy typing on his laptop.)

Attention to S.E.E. is both necessary and in large part sufficient. Some sort of professional intervention might help in some cases but I'm not convinced that's anything more than a very few rare cases. Sure, a schizophrenic can have a miraculous recovery when prescribed lithium, but how common is such a thing? Fix the basics first.

Like any skill, interacting comfortably with other people requires experience and practice. Don't avoid opportunities to hone your skills. You'll learn to 'read the room' and avoid the social faux pas. "It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt." You don't have to remain silent, just keep your filters up and think twice.

I kind of feel bad when I don't go outside for days like in a weekend. But I need to have a reason to go out, otherwise I just stay inside. It's not easy when you feel you're going nowhere.
Also, I smile for people sometimes, give them the small talk, but it's just too little for me. I'm going on discord to play with my online friends, it helps.
About diet, I tend to stick with salads and vegetables because I really like them when they're prepared well. I try to eat as little sugar as I feel the urge to eat it. I'm sleeping better than most of my life, so that's a good thing for now. it's like 7-8 h during weekdays and like 10+ on weekends.
I already take medicines for depression, it literally changed my life, even though I was "able" to work+study during 5.5 years, and graduated still not close to 100%.
I try to keep my filters, the problem is when I get to know people well, the intimacy when they are joking about things, I tend to enter the joke and say something a little over what could be said. Never got a problem with that, but I can't read people minds, so who knows?!

Their views are hard earned.

Yours, so far, are probably strongly influenced by questionable social media.

You should pay attention to your parents. They know things -- and I'd wager they are right.

“A Russian and an American get on a plane in Moscow and get to talking. The Russian says he works for the Kremlin and he’s on his way to go learn American propaganda techniques.
‘What American propaganda techniques?’ asks the American.
‘Exactly,’ the Russian replies.”

 

While I've never been tested, I suspect that I am somewhere on the Asperger Syndrome scale (though I guess that syndrome has been folded into the broader "Autism Spectrum Disorder" scale.

I think there's a modest correlation between being an engineer or scientist and being slightly further up the autism scale than the norm. Part of that is probably that STEM fields are natural fits for people that are highly systematic and have attention to detail, which are traits often associated with autism, particularly when taken to extremes. People further up the scale also tend to have more trouble in social relationships because, in part, they have a harder time interpreting social cues, such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. They also tend to take things too literally, thus making it harder to recognize jokes and innocent sarcasm. These tend to result in people being uncomfortable in social situations, which then leads them to adopt an introverted persona. They also have a harder time knowing when it is better to listen instead of talking. We see it all the time here on the forum (and I'm as guilty of it as many others). Think of all the engineer jokes that play on these stereotypes.

 

I struggled as a teen, largely a case of immaturity. One morning as I drifted in and out of sleep, a vision passed through my mind. It was me, but a more mature and thoughtful me. I tried to hold onto it, but it just drifted through, lasting only seconds. It left me the same confused teen, but I had felt it, and that became the first day of a new journey. One thing that will help, is exercise. Strengthen your physical self so that when your vision appears, you’ll be ready to transform.