Is the signal a positive-going pulse ∧ or a negative-going pulse ∨?signal from the arduino is given to the pstart
And, unlike the original circuit which defeats the purpose of the opto coupler, that gives you isolation.As explained above the circuit cannot work.
You could connect P_start to gnd and disconnect R6 from the 12V supply and connect it instead to the arduino output pin.
This will reverse the operation so the relay will be on when the arduino output is high.