Or possibly, the daughter/family is just too cheap. Who's paying for the funeral?
IMHO, "GoFundMe" is abused.

Bottom line, if I knew the family and appreciated its situation, I would be likely to offer "help" in the absence of a public appeal, but in general, I am turned off by "gofundme's."

Hi,

Well that will change quickly my friend if you ever need one
Some people have no choice ... it is that or nothing.

Yeah i know what you mean about being personally connected to the cause. That always provides for more motivation.

 

My Father fought for this country during WWII and the government gave him a simple concrete headstone when he died.

 

First point that came to my mind is a possibility not related with intimidation.

The attitude of those seeing that some people have already made a donation, will be to reconsider the amount they initially intended to donate.

(Thanks Eric)

Hi,

Yes the 'feedback' factor as we say in control theory, or rather the "control law" that governs the behavior.
The question then is, will it be positive feedback or negative feedback? I guess the answer also depends on the individual.

 

Hi,

Yeah this one is going to be a full fledged picturesque memorial stone so the price is rather high.

Does the donation page make it clear that they are asking for donations so as to get something grand, or are the people seeing the site going to likely assume that the family can't afford even a basic marker and their donation is so that the grave doesn't remain unmarked?

 

Hi,

Yes the 'feedback' factor as we say in control theory, or rather the "control law" that governs the behavior.
The question then is, will it be positive feedback or negative feedback? I guess the answer also depends on the individual.

I would be much more receptive to a personal note from the daughter explaining what the objective is and asking if I could help with the effort. If I had any kind of a positive relationship with the deceased, the daughter, or the family as a whole I would likely do so.

If I were to get some autogenerated e-mail from some funding website because she had dumped her entire address book into it when she set it up, I know what my attitude would be.

 

My Father fought for this country during WWII and the government gave him a simple concrete headstone when he died.

Hi,

Oh sorry to hear that. I lost TWO uncles in WWII and they now reside in Arlington National Cemetery.
I actually NEVER got to meet them because i was born some time later.
I could have never been born because my dad would have died too most likely, except his step mother pleaded with Washington to let him come home seeing that two of the brothers were lost already and a third one from the same family would be absurd.

 

Does the donation page make it clear that they are asking for donations so as to get something grand, or are the people seeing the site going to likely assume that the family can't afford even a basic marker and their donation is so that the grave doesn't remain unmarked?

Hi,

Yes, the design appears on the page. It's a beautiful design.
I found out the grave site has a marker, but it's PLASTIC! That's part of why she wants to do this. It's also been a while since the actual death too.

 

I would be much more receptive to a personal note from the daughter explaining what the objective is and asking if I could help with the effort. If I had any kind of a positive relationship with the deceased, the daughter, or the family as a whole I would likely do so.

If I were to get some autogenerated e-mail from some funding website because she had dumped her entire address book into it when she set it up, I know what my attitude would be.

Hi,

Oh yes i know what you mean. I think this particular case has been approached with some care. We'll see what happens i guess.

 

Very sorry to hear about all this. I hope things get better for both you and her too.
And yes, that is just nuts about the so called friends that wont give a dime. That's just not right. Any decent friend would give at least 5 dollars probably more. If you want to give me her gofundme info privately i'll donate at least 10 dollars for the cause. Life is short, help those in great need.

Thanks, and I appreciate your generosity. I realized it is a Facebook fundraiser, not GoFundMe; not sure why they did it that way. Anyways, thanks for the kind offer. Next paycheck I'll give her another $50; that has the advantage of bringing up the drive on my facebook page so hopefully friends she and I have in common will help her out.

 

The Internet is excellent for mass communications. But it is a little cold. Instead of a crowd funding site, I’d consider a more direct approach.

First, I’d identify the email addresses or smartphone numbers of as much of the family as possible.

Then, I’d create a personalized appeal, with graphics, appropriate backgrounds, etc... I’d use MS Word, but any publishing software could be used. Then, I’d create an image from this letter. If you don’t have access to a scanner, many retail shops will perform this for you. Staples or UPS Store for two.

Then you can email or text your appeal to your family directly. My content would include a request that each person forward it to other family members or family friends.

The GoFundMe cachet would be avoided. Your audience will appreciate your apparent direct approach.

IMHO

 

I new a guy who would put up a sign at the JC Penny during Christmas, need toys for my children. Then offer to sell you a pencil for a dollar, most people didn't take the offer but would drop money in his bucket. You can also up cycle furniture.


kv

 

When a family that we know loses a loved one my wife and I always just include a check in the sympathy card. It is simply what we do. Close friends and relatives we generally also send a fruit basket or food rather than flowers for the funeral, this way if family receives guest they have something to eat. We give what we can afford and people should not know what others have given, I just see that as wrong.

Personally and just my thinking I see a Go Fund Me account as being in poor taste but that is just my thinking. A funeral should be planned based on what a family can afford. I would not have a funeral and worry about the cost later.

My wife who normally handles these things disagrees with me and sees a go fund me account as fine but there should be an option for anonymous donations. Names do not have to be tied to a monetary amount of donations.

Ron

 

When a family that we know loses a loved one my wife and I always just include a check in the sympathy card. It is simply what we do. Close friends and relatives we generally also send a fruit basket or food rather than flowers for the funeral, this way if family receives guest they have something to eat. We give what we can afford and people should not know what others have given, I just see that as wrong.

Personally and just my thinking I see a Go Fund Me account as being in poor taste but that is just my thinking. A funeral should be planned based on what a family can afford. I would not have a funeral and worry about the cost later.

My wife who normally handles these things disagrees with me and sees a go fund me account as fine but there should be an option for anonymous donations. Names do not have to be tied to a monetary amount of donations.

Ron

I agree with a lot of what you have said. I just wanted to add that GoFundMe donations can be anonymous. At least that’s my past experience.

 

I agree with a lot of what you have said. I just wanted to add that GoFundMe donations can be anonymous. At least that’s my past experience.

Yes, my wife also pointed that out to me. Obviously all donations are not my department around here.

Ron

 

I new a guy who would put up a sign at the JC Penny during Christmas, need toys for my children. Then offer to sell you a pencil for a dollar, most people didn't take the offer but would drop money in his bucket. You can also up cycle furniture.


kv

And more often than not, the guys that do that don't have any children at all. Similarly the folks panhandling on the street corners. On a few occasions I've watched them take their "Homeless, carless, foodless. Anything helps. Bless you." sign and walk a few blocks to their late-model car and drive off.

 

For me intimidation doesn't come into it, I f i am a friend of the family I will do what I can, if I am not I won't. Seems pretty simple to me.

 

Thanks, and I appreciate your generosity. I realized it is a Facebook fundraiser, not GoFundMe; not sure why they did it that way. Anyways, thanks for the kind offer. Next paycheck I'll give her another $50; that has the advantage of bringing up the drive on my facebook page so hopefully friends she and I have in common will help her out.

Hi,

Oh ok, i havent gotten around to doing facebook yet. Maybe soon though not sure yet.
Thanks for the reply.

 

This is about as close to social media as I get. I'm to busy for that crap, if someone wants to talk with me, they can call or drop by.

kv

 

This is about as close to social media as I get. I'm to busy for that crap, if someone wants to talk with me, they can call or drop by.

kv

Hi,

Oh ok
Well there must be a lot of people getting something out of it. I think it may be because they can be in contact with 10's or 100's of people without going to separate technologies now and then. Log on once and talk to them all.
Another point is News. People get News that way too.
Another point is making new contacts.
Businesses also use it now not sure to what extent though.

 

While not an avid Facebook social media type I do get on it occasionally. I keep in touch with my old NY friends and families as well as old Marine Corps friends. While the kids send grandchildren pictures through email I also keep up with the kids and grand kids through Facebook. Unlike some who are on there 7 days a week, 12 hours a day I generally see what's new once a week. Being retired here in NE Ohio much of my outdoor life is curtailed during the winters unless we get out of town to a warmer climate. I also keep in touch with my former co-workers. So Facebook does serve some purpose.

Ron