..... Life fair

 

Eh, it will get better if you work at it. Don't stress to much about a partner those type of things will always present themselves if you keep your head up and improve on yourself first. If you continue to float along or always keep the mentality of above then it will be harder. Dig into something your good at and can be proud of to help start boosting your confidence.

 

Did you get a "Dear John" letter from her or did she just take off with the other guy without any warning?

 

I'm sure you can find a chaplain to punch your TS card.

 

sounds like she kept the promise... always wanted to get married and now she is married

 

Still thinking about my life a lot. How to make it more neutral.

They have drugs that will flatten you right out to neutral. No highs, no lows -- just flat. I can tell you from experience those people make me uncomfortable.

 

I've always found that you can't sit back and wait for others to make your life better...You have to do it for yourself (Even Family).
In this day and time there's no such thing as "Unconditional Love" anymore. Look out for #1 cause nobody else is.
Brzrkr

 

Believe me, you don’t want to flatten your life. You must learn what anxieties you have, that are the root behind this desire. And actively deal with them, learning strategies you will apply in your daily living. After a time, the strategies will become natural.

This leaves your emotional and mental energy to greatly enjoy the things that you love.

There was a science fiction story about a man who discovered an ancient tome with a formula to “flatten” his life. He constructed a Rube Goldberg machine to inject the formula into his brain. He pressed a switch and monitored the progress. All he had to do was release the switch at the proper time.

But, the formula took effect immediately. When it came time to release the switch, he no longer cared about anything. So the formula flooded his body and ultimately killed him.

So, be careful what you wish for.

 

Fair? Life? Are you working as a "carny" this summer? Join up and see the country!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carny

 

I've always found that you can't sit back and wait for others to make your life better...You have to do it for yourself (Even Family).
In this day and time there's no such thing as "Unconditional Love" anymore. Look out for #1 cause nobody else is.
Brzrkr

Yes there is... Love of a dog is unconditional

For everything else, forget others, do your own thing, find happy moments and you will discover peace and sense of quiet belonging. If others come into your life, so be it, people come and go, but they cannot make you happy. Spend time learning who you are, few ever do that.

 

Yes there is... Love of a dog is unconditional

For everything else, forget others, do your own thing, find happy moments and you will discover peace and sense of quiet belonging. If others come into your life, so be it, people come and go, but they cannot make you happy. Spend time learning who you are, few ever do that.

Haven't owned an animal since my pet squirrel (named him Squeaky) it broke my heart when he died. I'm very happy with my life. I've just learnt you can't depend on others to do things for you. And I already know who I am...... "I'm Me". Some people do go through life and never figure this out. I had my Oh crap moment around 30 when I figured out I didn't know everything.
Brzrkr

 

 

@cmartinez
I didn't actually mean I didn't care for others although it might have came across that way. About 7 or 8 years ago I started raising my two great nephews (Problems in and at their house let's just say). I wouldn't change it for the world and love them as my own! About three years ago their mother died and the father no where in site, But I can also say at my age I wasn't expecting to start raising kids again! The youngest is almost 10 now and the oldest just turned 19 this month.
Brzrkr

 

@cmartinez
I didn't actually mean I didn't care for others although it might have came across that way. About 7 or 8 years ago I started raising my two great nephews (Problems in and at their house let's just say). I wouldn't change it for the world and love them as my own! About three years ago their mother died and the father no where in site, But I can also say at my age I wasn't expecting to start raising kids again! The youngest is almost 10 now and the oldest just turned 19 this month.
Brzrkr

So there you go... one can actually get happiness from others, as long as one lives for others ...

 

To me, looking out for #1 is a sure way to spread discord in the world.
I prefer to follow the Golden Rule (and not the one about who has the gold).

 

So there you go... one can actually get happiness from others, as long as one lives for others ...

Not to be Donnie Downer...

Except when you get sadness from others when you are living for them. It happens. But you can take care of yourself. Then it’s time to find people who give you joy!

 

To me, looking out for #1 is a sure way to spread discord in the world.
I prefer to follow the Golden Rule (and not the one about who has the gold).

As I intimated, there are times when you have to look out for number 1. If you don’t, you won’t have anything to give. There’s a saying. You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself. I’m not talking about narcissism. I’m talking about having the strength to give. Giving takes a lot of emotional energy. You have to nurture that within yourself.

 

To me, "fair" is a word that should be avoided. The concept is antithetical to the universe in which we find ourselves. The adage "Life isn't fair." is an undeniable truism. Expect fairness and you will be disappointed. If someone demands fairness of you, they want something they aren't actually entitled to.

And on helping others, go ahead, but don't expect appreciation or to be returned in kind.

On pets: I've had them most of my life and adore them. But I call them my "heart breakers". They will get sick, die, and break my heart. Hopefully. I say that because the only alternative is that I break their heart (by dying). I've seen this recently with the death of my niece's grandmother. At least one dog went to the pound, and another was "pawned" off on my niece's daughter. She loves the dog, but was given no monetary assistance with the middle aged pooch, despite grandma having left a sizeable estate, and the great granddaughter's youth and the fact that she only recently entered the workforce (age 23) and doesn't make much money. It's not fair.

 

Not to be Donnie Downer...

Except when you get sadness from others when you are living for them. It happens. But you can take care of yourself. Then it’s time to find people who give you joy!

I never said one should never take care of oneself! ... but the bottom question that everyone must ask themselves is the most ancient one: "what is the purpose of life?" ... hint: it's not "to have fun", and also not "to be happy"

https://www.iflscience.com/brain/why-you-shouldnt-want-to-always-be-happy/

having too much of one type of happiness may undermine our ability to have enough of the others – so it’s impossible for us to simultaneously have all types of happiness in great quantities.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20181218-whats-the-quickest-way-to-happiness-do-nothing

Mauss has since shown that the desire for (and pursuit of) happiness can also increase feelings of loneliness and disconnection, perhaps because it causes you to focus your attention on yourself and your own feelings rather than appreciating the people around you. “Self-focus might make me engage with other people less, and I might judge other people more negatively if I perceive them to ‘mess’ with my happiness,” Mauss added.

 

"what is the purpose of life?"

I would say the only actual purpose of life is the large scale process of the human species evolving to live/thrive in our environment. Just like any other living organism. On the small scale of an individuals purpose then there is none accept what you choose to make of it.