The Jokes thread

loosewire

Joined Apr 25, 2008
1,686
SplitInfinity, Coming soon to play at the Elbo Room....next door to the bar you visited

on Fort Lauderdale beach. What do you play...........
 
SplitInfinity, Coming soon to play at the Elbo Room....next door to the bar you visited

on Fort Lauderdale beach. What do you play...........
Loose...there is this bar in Lauder...it is located on or near the south end of the strip at a corner where the opened up east and south facing walls allow people on the sidewalk and the street to just walk up and get a drink.

The bar is not very big but at the front it has a small square bar right at the east and south cornered front right at the sidewalks and tended by quite possibly the HOTTEST looking Female Bartender I have ever seen...or had a drink with...as I STRUCK OUT....but My Girl did not! LOL!

She does this thing with a Bottle Opener that she has snuggly placed between cutoffs and cheek that drive both the guy's and girl's crazy...if you stay in Ft. Lauder you MUST know her as she is like a HERO there!

The club has small bands in the...not too far away back and all three of us had one hell of a night!

Split Infinity
 
never drive in dark faster than the speed of light.
bumper sticker talking about emerald ash borer. don't move firewood it bugs me.
picture of wind generator. says renewable energy? I'm a big fan.

there is a conference for software developers for airplane auto pilot systems. speaker asks if you knew your team was responsible for the software on this plane would you not go. evererybody-1 raise their hand saying would not go. speaker ask 1 you would why, answers our software plane wouldn't even taxi off runway.

an engineer, manager, program are on a maintain road in a car brakes fail and they manage to stop before going over cliff. they start discussing what to do manager says have meetings, plan, etc. engineer say give me a pocket knife I'll do this thais and this to fix it. programmer says lets push the car back up to the top and see if it happens again.
 

GopherT

Joined Nov 23, 2012
8,009
An old Scandinavian couple lives a very simple and life on a rural Midwestern farm. One day Ole walks in on his wife, Lena, who is looking at herself in the mirror. She says, "Ole, I am getting older and I am no longer beautiful. I need to do something to make sure you will always love me."

Ole says, "what do you mean? You will always be beautiful to me."

Lena says,"Ole, I think I will get silicone implants to make me beautiful again."

Ole responds, "Lena, you don't need to do anything like that, I love you just the way you are. Besides, those things are not good for your health."

Ole continues, "if you really feel like you need some help there, just wipe some toilet paper on your chest every day, you'll be fine."

Lena is surprised and said, "how will that fix anything?"

Ole responds, "I don't know exactly how it works but look what it has done for your arse!"
 

Thread Starter

R!f@@

Joined Apr 2, 2009
10,004
Hey Guys. Nice to know that I'm still on all ya minds :).
It's crazy here in Maldives. Had recent stabbings of 4 individuals in last week. This politics are destroying us. nuff said, as Bill says.

My family have been so far safe from these kinda things cause we stay away from politics though it's on everyone's mind.

Some does not even get their Months salary. Some get's em almost at 1/3rd of the months had passed. Now you can guess what it will do to my business. it takes a month or two to pay for my service.

Business is rather low. We are trying to get the place going at almost near loss. Most of the month I don't get to save a buck. :(.

But still hanging on to see a brighter future.

So, no worries yet. We are all in good health yet.
I have been really bzy so I don't get time to post. I do log in from time to time to see if I can post anything important to members who needs help.

Since DerStrom8 said some members are concerned I thought I will ease ur minds. Still it's nice to know tht there are people concerned abt me. It helps to ease my mind.

I was at electro-tech to find RB. I made his linistepper for a guy and I was having issues. Still not resolved.

I am kinda shamed to be here cause I owe Jens and I could not yet pay him for his service. Hope he understands my situation. :(
 
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loosewire

Joined Apr 25, 2008
1,686
Riaff ,glad to see you are o.k. ,that the important stuff....your brother police

I don't worry too much ....he will take care of you and mom and family. So don't stay

a way so long. There may be a hundred post thread to fix another T.V. .
 
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