The Jokes thread

nsaspook

Joined Aug 27, 2009
16,326
I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, "One day, this could be you." So I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right.
 

joeyd999

Joined Jun 6, 2011
6,300
Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
 

nsaspook

Joined Aug 27, 2009
16,326
1763392256940.jpeg

Nubbie shipmate once changed his duty station to Hawaii instead of California because he was homesick. We asked him why the hell he'd do that and he straight up told us that Hawaii was next to Texas on the map so there must be a bridge.
 
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