Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mother only carries one photo, because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal!

 

 

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife..."

 

Some programming jokes:
http://checkall.in/programming/best-programming-jokes/

 

CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

 

ISDN - Integrated Service you Don’t Need, i thought it was.

 

Utah homeless man who's been deficating in the park has been caught and stopped. Park workers are relieved.

 

Found on EP:

Just musing . . . . . . . Now, if a turtle doesn't have a shell, which is he being . . . . . homeless or naked ?

 

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tenders says "Hey". The horse replies "sure"......

 

@josaflenya Welcome to AAC. Don't be afraid to relate a joke. Be yourself. Enjoy. We may laugh, we may "OMG". But whatever happens, as long as you're a respectable member, you will be respected.

 

It wasn't a cow, it was a bull.

 

Found at EP:



Bertus

 

​

 

The Chicken and The Egg are laying in bed; the Chicken leaning against the headboard with a lit cigarette in its beak; the Egg sharply grabs the sheets and rolls over grumbling. "What's your problem?" the Chicken asks. The Egg responds tersely, "Well, I guess we answered THAT age old question, DIDN'T we!"

 

Not intending to make political comment here - I know better. Just fast forward to 9 minutes 30 seconds through 9 minutes 45 seconds. If I could edit the clip I would. But it's not mine to change.

 

Not intending to make political comment here - I know better. Just fast forward to 9 minutes 30 seconds through 9 minutes 45 seconds. If I could edit the clip I would. But it's not mine to change.

My 12 y.o. daughter still thinks farts are funny, too.

 

@joeyd999 don't you? I laughed my arse off.

 

@joeyd999 don't you?

I did. When I was 12.

 

I did. When I was 12.

You’re older than 12?

 

I must be 12. I still think farts is funny! Hey! 12 forever. Oh - wait a minute - there's already someone here who's @#12.