The Jokes thread

BobTPH

Joined Jun 5, 2013
8,807
This really happened to me. I was on a business trip with a rental car. I was staying at the client’s house. I found what I thought was the house, but was not certain, so I got out if the car to check instead if just walking up to the wrong door carrying my suitcase. Stupidly, I put it in park and left it running, then closed the door. Apparently, the shifter was in between park and reverse, and the impact of the door bumped it into reverse. And, of couse the car had the feature that automatically locks the doors when in gear. It ended well when it took a curved path onto the lawn stopped when it hit an upward slope.
 

SamR

Joined Mar 19, 2019
5,031
A college buddy of mine played in a band. They had an out-of-town gig and had played into the wee hours, packed up, and were having a long drive home. It got to be too much so the driver pulled off the road into a driveway and went to sleep as the others already were. He said he heard my buddy Wayne get out of the car but figured he was just taking a leak. Nope, Wayne thought they were home so he got out of the car, walked up the driveway, opened the front door, and flaked out on the living room couch. The next morning, he sat up and was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and looked up and saw these strangers sitting at a table eating breakfast. Mom, dad, and a couple of kids. He didn't know who they were but figured out pretty quickly that this wasn't his house so he made his excuses quickly and got the hell out of there and back in the car. Never did find out if they knew he was on their couch before he sat up. Plus, being in rural Alabama, he was damn lucky to get home alive!
 

BobTPH

Joined Jun 5, 2013
8,807
Out of pity, I'm sure.
Nope, I was clearly the right person for the job. And I state that with all humility. The task was to implement MS CodeView debug info in a debugger they sold, and I had already done this in a compiler and debugger I developed and sold. The chance if getting someone else with that experience was nil.
 

panic mode

Joined Oct 10, 2011
2,715
in another thread someone was talking about having fun with weedwhacker as trolley motor. quick check on amazon revealed posts like this with tiny trolley but interesting advertising. the largest photo on top is of course expectations but smaller ones are more sobering:
1660703747594.png
 

SamR

Joined Mar 19, 2019
5,031
I was trying to find a picture of one but there is someone who builds custom single person fishing pontoon boats. Very fast all aluminum frame and pontoons and probably not even 10' by maybe 3' wide with a single bucket seat with a small foot rest/standing platform. What blew my mind was that it had, for its size, a HUGE outboard motor for power. Looked like a death-trap to me but would be one hell of a ride getting there. Not a 9.9HP but in the range of 50-100HP! When I saw it, it was sitting on its custom trailer with a For Sale sign on it. It evoked one of those "here, hold my beer" kinda images of destruction.
 

cmartinez

Joined Jan 17, 2007
8,218
There's a type of sense of humor that is timeless. It has the power of bridging the gaps between generations. And proof of that is that a few minutes ago I showed my 25 year old son this clip from the Carol Burnett show (I believe it's from the early 70's), and he (we) couldn't stop laughing. I've watched it dozens of times ever since I was a kid and it still tickles my funny bone:


 

Tonyr1084

Joined Sep 24, 2015
7,852
When I was a boy I was riding my new bike down the street
When a police man on a horse stopped me and asked
"Did you get that from Santa?"
And I said "Yes Sir."
And he said "You have to tell Santa that you need a license plate
Because I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
While he was handing me the ticket I said "Did you get that horse from Santa?"
And he said "Yes Sir."
So I said "You have to tell Santa that the pecker goes on the bottom and not on the top."
 
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