The Jokes thread

killivolt

Joined Jan 10, 2010
836
This does sound like a typical apology from public figures.

Something like.

"I am sorry if I offended anyone".

Sorry that is not an apology. You are putting the blame on others.

A proper apology.

"I now realize what I said/did could be consider offensive. I am ashamed and humbly ask for your forgiveness."
Me too! In times past I might be viewed the same.


kv :rolleyes:
 

killivolt

Joined Jan 10, 2010
836
My wife asked why I was speaking into an open envelope?

I replied that I was sending a voice message.
I stole that last night my wife is watching TV, when I got up to get ice for my drink, I grabbed an envelope addressed it with her name, from me same address.

When I sat down on the bed I opened the envelope as she watched and said I love you in the envelope naturally she asked what I was doing, I sealed it while handing it to her I said I'm sending you voice mail, she laughed till she cried.

Apparently I've been so stressed repairing my house projects everywhere, and work moving to a new dept e.g. new assignments adjusting to new people, etc.

She said, now that's the kv I've been missing, you've been to serious for at least 3 months.

Thanks, @Hymie

kv

Edit: I had a older guy from Peru "Hymie" who moved to Utah, I worked in an Electronics Dept for another company. He was a good friend always happy, one day I asked him how he was in spanish, he said "Fresca como la lechuga" = Fresh as lettuce. I've never forgotten that greeting.
 
Last edited:

Hymie

Joined Mar 30, 2018
1,347
I stole that last night my wife is watching TV, when I got up to get ice for my drink, I grabbed an envelope addressed it with her name, from me same address.

When I sat down on the bed I opened the envelope as she watched and said I love you in the envelope naturally she asked what I was doing, I sealed it while handing it to her I said I'm sending you voice mail, she laughed till she cried.

Apparently I've been so stressed repairing my house projects everywhere, and work moving to a new dept e.g. new assignments adjusting to new people, etc.

She said, now that's the kv I've been missing, you've not been to serious for at least 3 months.

Thanks, @Hymie

kv

Edit: I had a older guy from Peru "Hymie" who moved to Utah, I worked in an Electronics Dept for another company. He was a good friend always happy, one day I asked him how he was in spanish, he said "Fresca como la lechuga" = Fresh as lettuce. I've never forgotten that greeting.
Glad to could make use of the joke - to good effect
Hymie
 

absf

Joined Dec 29, 2010
1,968
Was this posted before?


Wife: listen, shall we go to the circus ?

Husband : No......... I m busy..

Wife : it seems there's a girl riding on a lion without clothes ...!!!!!

Husband : you have become very stubborn .... in everything you want to be stubborn .....
okay ..let's go ..anyway i've not seen a lion for a long time ....!!!!!

The rest of the story ...

Husband & wife went to the circus. Husband even bought front row seats ...

Lion show started ....and also got over ...but no girl without clothes. Soon, the entire Circus show was over...

Husband : you told me there is a show where a girl comes without clothes?

Wife : i said a lion without clothes, not girl ........

I swear you will read it again..
 

cmartinez

Joined Jan 17, 2007
8,772
Was this posted before?


Wife: listen, shall we go to the circus ?

Husband : No......... I m busy..

Wife : it seems there's a girl riding on a lion without clothes ...!!!!!

Husband : you have become very stubborn .... in everything you want to be stubborn .....
okay ..let's go ..anyway i've not seen a lion for a long time ....!!!!!

The rest of the story ...

Husband & wife went to the circus. Husband even bought front row seats ...

Lion show started ....and also got over ...but no girl without clothes. Soon, the entire Circus show was over...

Husband : you told me there is a show where a girl comes without clothes?

Wife : i said a lion without clothes, not girl ........

I swear you will read it again..
Thrice! :D
 

shortbus

Joined Sep 30, 2009
10,050
While I accept the decision of the mods to remove my "mickey mouse joke" I don't understand how it could be the least bit political, it was a joke nothing more nothing less. No political undertones at all.
 
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